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| Topic: your parents vs your future husband or wife!!! | |
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well I posted my thought as a parent, but were I the one getting married, I would marry whom I choose. I might listen to their objections. I take my folks and my sister's, and my adult children's opinons seriously, but in the matter of whom I choose for a partner...that's MYOB territory.
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I'd say "Oh to hell with this. The lot of you", and then I'd walk out and drive off. Actually, I'd ask the parent's why, then I'd tell them I am the only one out of them who knows him more, and that despite them not liking something about him, I'm not a child anymore, and I'm grown up. Therefore, it's my choice. They do not get a choice in who I be with ;) absolutely. I have never tried to choose my son's friends (much less their girl friends). Through the years they've had a couple friends I've kept a close eye on tho...lol  lolseriously though - my way of staying out of those choices has kept us friends and that's the most important thing to me. I am lucky that the boys have always made good choices. of course they had a lot of expereince making the choices & completing the sorting process on their own...as it should be IMO! good going RAWR. good answer! Thanks :) I was thinking how much I had to accept my stepdad, when she got together with him, so she'll have to accept that now she should accept mine. lol. There were parts of him I'm really not keen on, but I have to for the family's sake. So now she knows how it feels to be the one watching it happen. She used to get into relationships really quickly, whereas I like to take my time knowing him first. |
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I'd say "Oh to hell with this. The lot of you", and then I'd walk out and drive off. Actually, I'd ask the parent's why, then I'd tell them I am the only one out of them who knows him more, and that despite them not liking something about him, I'm not a child anymore, and I'm grown up. Therefore, it's my choice. They do not get a choice in who I be with ;) absolutely. I have never tried to choose my son's friends (much less their girl friends). Through the years they've had a couple friends I've kept a close eye on tho...lol lol seriously though - my way of staying out of those choices has kept us friends and that's the most important thing to me. I am lucky that the boys have always made good choices. of course they had a lot of expereince making the choices & completing the sorting process on their own...as it should be IMO! good going RAWR. good answer! Thanks :) I was thinking how much I had to accept my stepdad, when she got together with him, so she'll have to accept that now she should accept mine. lol. There were parts of him I'm really not keen on, but I have to for the family's sake. So now she knows how it feels to be the one watching it happen. She used to get into relationships really quickly, whereas I like to take my time knowing him first. maybe you learned from her mistakes. I know I learned from those my mom made and made some decisions accordingly. if our mistakes in life are worth anything at all...let that value be to spare our children pain if they learn from them. Your mom prolly knows that a step parent is going to be an adjustment for you. you show maturity in your acceptance. with my stepmom, I simply did not view her as a mom. that allowed us to be friends - kept it simple. I do not see her often but I find her a firm and fast friend when I do see her. she did not try to mother me nor did I look to her for that....left lotsa room to simply "be" :) |
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I can't imagine it's even possible for me to chose someone my parents could feel that way about.
But if it happened I would hope they come around later, since I'm not going to doubt what I know to be a good choice unless they have hard evidence that he is not the man I would surely know him to be. |
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Edited to fit into browser (because I really am that fussy):
maybe you learned from her mistakes. I know I learned from those my mom made and made some decisions accordingly. if our mistakes in life are worth anything at all...let that value be to spare our children pain if they learn from them. Your mom prolly knows that a step parent is going to be an adjustment for you. you show maturity in your acceptance. with my stepmom, I simply did not view her as a mom. that allowed us to be friends - kept it simple. I do not see her often but I find her a firm and fast friend when I do see her. she did not try to mother me nor did I look to her for that....left lotsa room to simply "be" :) Isn't it funny how we sometimes learn what not to do by watching our parents? lol. I think seeing the effects arguing with an ex had on her, just made me think "That looks sad. I never want to go through that", yet I always thought I would. Luckily, have never. lol. We don't always forget who our parents were once with.  . Like you, I prefer to keep her at a distance.
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Edited by
Rawrr_Girl
on
Sat 06/01/13 10:50 AM
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Edited to fit into browser (because I really am that fussy)
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