get a life i have no life what do you wish me to be...an actor a charlatan.i can mirror your personality,SHOW me what you wish me to be and i can mimic you perfectly.....

recieving knowledge we do not wish to know
like liver and spinach
good for you yuch!
grow strong healthy
increase your strenght
do not eat junk food
a painful slow death
rotting your wisdom teeth
liver and spinach yuch!

he died for us and i wonder if he found it a good deal
betrayed by his friend sold out for thirty coins
shown less mercy than common thieves
what lesson to learn from his example
he forgives us if only we ask
used as a curse his name
far more often than a blessing
i wonder if he sent a memo to management
suggesting more comprehensive studies next time
i was never happy working for my father
how easy i got off i see
here is a man who would not fit in today
a man in charge of P.R.
a man between the law maker and breakers
forced to intercede on behalf of those
who fear the cost of thier sins

leniency
this is kinda like a lie start with a bit of b.s. and just wing it making up more till nothing makes sense...

john Stone gets eddie to work on his car because eddie...somewhat of a compulsive personality...has already become somewhat of a perfectionist ,and ends up not charging extra because he just needs to do it 'right'.At $400 for the job he averages $10/hr..foolish eddie...Status Quo Auto @ $70/hr +40% markup on materials+10% shop supply fee and tax ends up at $3849ish.Also john's friend leroy works there ...he hates his $22/hr job and it shows in his work.poor john caught between a rock and a soft spot.besides he likes eddie..he's eddies best friend ...he's eddies only 'friend'...what a shame!...don't you wish eddie had more friends like john!?.at least john comes over with beer when he pays his bill and they sit around and have a few.john really shouldn't drink 4 beers and drive but he says he's fine.eddie doesnt want to argue about it he just wants to go back to work.he thinks john might still be mad that it took 3 days to get his car done.john seemed really mad ,eddie thought, when he wanted to fix the bumper instead of spending $75&tx on a new one.it didnt seem right to eddie that he should have to pay for it ,butits better to back of when john's nostrils start flaring.eddie has seen what happens when that happens...eddie has felt what happens when that happens.so he waves an unreturned bye to john and goes back to putting up the temporary shelters for his seedlings,well,actually they are john's seedlings but thats o.k.,he will get $2/each in 2 mths when they get a little bigger.eddie has a very green thumb!!actually eddie loves reading so instructions are right up his alley and he actuallly checks his babies food!oh what a funny dad eddie is!!200 lil guys to take care of -where does he get the time..and look out bugs you dont want to come here looking for a cheap snack! eddie has read up on how to protect his babies from you ..he! he! want some nicotine?
john meanwhile has not gone home because sue is not there she has gone down to the doctors office.she is scared and pregnant! she is supposed to get an abortion.she thought she could keep the baby and marry john but she decided that wasnt nessesary.she is wearing sunglasses today,she does not want the sun in her eyes she tells herself.she wonders if she will have time to pick something up for dinner.john will be hungry..john is always hungry on wed nights.john volunteers at the brothers club on wed.she is so proud of john..what a guy he is.he says the nicest things..he is so polular she doesnt know how she got so lucky.she will pick up some extra steaks she decides..his favourite.she remembers to make sure she buttons her sleeves before she leaves...her wrists look a little funny today..funny colors she thinks.
john ,now i see,has reched 4th street where he works with the troubled kids with no daddies.thats funny ,he is not turning, this is odd!!lets follow him.oh no john has stopped at the liquor store.no john dont drink more beer.hmm john has not bought beer john has bought raspberry vodka coolers?that is really odd.oh,i see,john has a flask in his pocket..this is strange the boys dont drink!! i know you want to look and see what sue is up to isnt she brave going all by herself? but im driving and i wonder about john dont you.maybe he doesnt know what he is doing ,he seems to drive o.k. ha.ha. look at that john waved to officer pete.well he must be okay.yes i know he is getting ahead of us but that is okay.ther is nothing out that way but the new subdivision...see..the no thru sign.i like this this is fun lets pretend we are dectectives...it makes me feel a little better..i do not like to feel i am spying but being as detective is fun i know lets go left here on mountain ave and we can see the whole subdivision from up there.oh what fun this is i am so curious.john makes fun of eddie drinking heh! wait a minute ..how can john buy booze? 12 yrs plus 6yrs isnt old enough ..but officer petesaw john leave the liquor store and o.pete knows john on sight .whats that?where did you hear that ?i didnt know..but john is so smart he gets really good grades..huh wow!! heh! look this is perfect look john is pulling up to that new one over there see it still has the sold sign up...WOW!! is she ever pretty huh why would john buy her coolers.she doesnt seem to want one huh wow they seem to know each other ..like get a room ohhhh myyyy but john!!!? they have gone inside.i want to go now.i wish i had not been curious.i do not like this i do not understand i think i will forget all about it yes good idea lets go see sue what huh i was just thinking i guess sorry i didnt mean to scare you we are almost there see no problem no i just cant focus i just....forget it alrite its ..ya sure dble dble tks.hmm that is odd sue is going thru the hedge .that is wierd she knows all the people out frontwith the signs.ya there is her aunt and father gregg why wouldnt she want to talk to them...ohhh i seee they do not like this doctor come to think of it they look mad.oh!****!scared me tks ,no tks my tummy is not feeling very well right now.heh can you see what those signs say..my eyes dont seem to pick it out.murder?what ohh i see well this is a pickle i hope the dont see sue! oh she went back around through the hedge well if they say abortion is murder and she camee to see the doctor they arre mad at ...think about it oh lord did your mother have any kids that lived...they might think she is bad too.no her mom is dead.it was just her and her dad till she moved in with john.daggit i was trying to forgret about john i wish i had not followed him oh oh look there is somethiung happening out front hmmm they bdont look happy either hmm what do thier signs say k!! never mind wow can father gregg ever throw a punch..whoopsie i guess that sign was stronger than his head oh look here comes officer pete hooray for hmm why is he just sitting in his car maybe he is afraid of all those angry people they certainly scare me not many left fighting anymore.thats uckkie the sidewalk is all red most of the street too ouch that must have hurted.ah here comes officer pete oh my he is pointing his gun at them this is turning into a very strange day im really beginning to wish i had stayed home .her ecomeds a ambleeance..there does not seem to be very many people moving anymore why are they covering those people up arnt they going to help them i want to go now i dont like this at all oh here comes sue again she must not want to be seen she is going the other way now thats going to be a long walk to the store ya you too im going home this has been very upsetting i wonder how eddie is doing no i wonder what john is doing i do not want to know oh why didnt i stay home why dont i go home i do not want to be a cat i do not want my curiousity back ohhhh why didnt i just stay home i think i will run around the block i do not like the prickle in my back and the hair is standing up on my neck i do not like this day i do not like what i am thinking there is the oak street bridge on the way i do not want to go now oh why bdidnt i stay home today No NO oh no i must get officer pete quick quick NO no noooooooooooooooo!.

note wish i had time to finish eddie&john wish it made more sense
oh well
....kep up the good work
lonely sentinels gathered
breathing our poisons in
cleansing the air that we breathe
of the smoke when they burn
sheltering us w/o branches or leaves
keeping us fixed without thier roots
the trees of life
the tree of knowledge
bringer of news when reduced to pulp
bridges chasms....walk that plank
picks your teeth....holds icy treats
plied together finger jointed
mitered and coved when put back together
bugged to death
and make way for the fields
just keep doing your job
and ignore our downsizing

...... NICE TRY GUY...
.with credit card paperweight..
she pauses and considers,a lonely day
children gone,man at work,dog at vet
no calls ,no appointments,hair cut tomorrow
spic and span,mr glad and muscle have been and gone
what is that strange sound she hears
she considers its silent merit
and with a shrug of her mighty shoulders
she decides to go bake a cake
go figger ehh!hasnt she heard of the mall?
Happy mothers day!your hair looks great
...............love...child-man-dog-husband
.
P.S. thers a game on tonite can you pick up some beer?
she pauses and considers
and makes up the couch

like a ball in amachine
aiming for pins
i rarly hit the target
no high score
name not recorded
no flashing bells
just push my buttons
and fly off again
caught in a maze
richochet around
hit a few good combinations
adding to the score
i thoght by now
id be better at this
rather perplexing
miss miss score

love is not a dud
or that to be amusing
love is not to scoff
or grudges holding
love is no diamond
perfect crystal clear
love can be annoying
whats that dear?
love is always flexing
shared give and take
love is always sharing
lifes litle cakes
love is never easy
a tough path to take
love will never die
life for the human race

yes i know ----but i just havta sometimes
she sits on a chair and sttares
a bemused grin in eye
head cocked slightly
the posture says why?
are you doing that
that silly way
what are you not thinking
why?why?why?
what is wrong with a pot
and a stove to go with it
why are you making noodles
in my nice new coffee maker
"i do not have the time
to sit around and wait
the watched pot boils
in minutes 7-8
by the time i get my noodles
its gone past eleven
but with our! nice new coffe pot
its 4 minutes straight"
a look that i have seen before
is wrinkling on her face
astonished confused bewilderment
it will soon go away
when she eats up all my noodles
and tells me make some more
and hurry up cuz while the pot is good and hot
she'd like some coffe in it
ha ha why am i on a dating site you ask
funny so do i
kinda like a porqupine
going to a social

learning from history.
off the wall thrun the roof
his mind is not quite there
upside down back and forth
hither hither there
where he stops nobody knows
or has ever seen it
he's got A.D.D with a hyper flair
and narcissism thrown in
great minds think alike
much ado about nothing
2 heads are better than one
so add schizophrenic
rob tomorrow to pay today
like aseops grasshoppers way
pave the road with good intentions
we doubt hell make it to heaven
doesnt do for others what he wishes for himself
his habits a second nature
he tries something and then forgets
out of mind out of sight
not just the cart before the horse
no road,no map,not loaded
he can't make an omlette
without cracking something
and then forgets the pan
and burns the bottom of it
a scalded cat cold water hates
he's got less sense than that
blond jokes he lives them up
but with a twisted flair
and often goes in for stiches
here.here.there
idleness the mother of sin
we actually beg to forgive that
no news is good news or bad
he is trying to hide it
take everthing he says with a
big bucket of salt
sometimes not even he believes it
but still the bull comes out
the more things change the better he likes it
just doesnt consider his socks
grass hopper grasshopper please change your ways
...ran aotta time again

bitter pill
he knew as he sat he should not be there
she with her coffee he has a beer
furtive glances bald innuendos
no thought for tomorrow
now here bold new
exiting frightning partly revenge
to have for himself to take to possess
to return ruined to brag to blame
no honour no glory
just a flag to wave a notch
and he scores he thinks
lightly touching adjusting
she preens-too often ignored?
she blushes at his compliments
her eyes too full to see
the emptiness inside
meaningless poetry
is she lost does she know the way
with which dice does she gamble today
promises given forgotten
blame quickly arranged
take no prisoners
until you have lost
rewrite history to serve youre needs
invent filler for spaces
where logic leaves questions
who is at fault i ask
and silence descends
as fingers are pointing
at everyone else

a smile breaks my face cracks
another link in the chain shattered
painful pleasure this i cannot resist
words stumble make no sense
face brightens cant back off
chit chat make a mess of it
driven by what i do not know
wouldnt give up a heartbeat of it
my shining star my warming sun
that smile far past priceless
ive heard the term follow your heart
but this approaches ridiculous
why cant i find the words i wish
like the ones i practiced last night
im out of time ohh alas
i have done failed yet again
try again tomorrow no doubt
but for now i leave with my coffee
and my pride still intact?

as ther are rules about content of disturbing nature the following should be read as an example of how i use writing to counter the numbing effects of depression.this is not a warning sign....lol just bad poetry
i keep thinking but nothing gets thru
i keep wondering how it is for you
i keep on letting my mind roll around
i keep wondering what its like underground
i wonder wha the sky would be like
i cant stop thinking that life really bites
i cant stop my mind from rolling around
oh god how i want to be underground
why do we repeat the mistakes that we make
why is it we try so hard to save face
what is it we think we gain if we win
why is it so many all want to pull the last pin
it hurts dear god to think we will face you
when we give up the ghost when we come back to you
why is it many people seem to dwell in this place
where freedom is death the end of the race
i want to scream to make all understand
before i am planted deep in the ground
why are we frightened of the dark the unknown
why cant we accept that we cant understand
so many minutes and hours,days and then years
eternity will fly by yet still life seemingly stands
death preoccupies us life is annoying
yet cling to it we must we dont understand
youth is so fleeting as adults we stand
petrified of that we dont understand
i want to enjoy life
i dont understand
why i spend my life living
already underground
please god if you could just give me a clue
what it was you meant me to do
.
like i said dont take it to heart..just rhyming whining

there will be those among you who will find it very easy to believe this is a fantasy of mine..i am very happy to report that while i have quite a few issues this is not one of them..it is a creepy write though..but other than the last word i loved the ending..actually if we could somehow delete the last word from the world well ya good luck..RADAR LOVE
i sit here watching,waiting,knowing you will arrive
you will not notice me bland disinterest my disguise
youre not eating right whats wrong are you ill
you should not spend so much time at youre work
i worry about you remember the other night
you where up late couldnt sleep
out gazing at the moon
we where so close then
just you and i
both my heart and time stood still
dont worry you are safe
i have seen to that
that guy who was bothering you
wont be coming back
here you come you are late
why are you crying
dont you know i love you
when you see me you smile
over on 4th street-im the clown
you smile and laugh
and look at me with your happy smile
i worrry you wont know me if i discard my disguise
but i dearly wish to comfort you
why are you crying
what are you carrying
a picture heh thats the guy
whos stolen shoes i am wearing
heh what do you want
leave me alone
i have a right to be here
leave that alone thats mine
thats it f off and leave me alone
get youre f'ing hands off
heh!heh!
i want my lawyer
like i said its the last word that cuts the deepest

deja vu 2u2
spoken with whispered tenderness
hi good morning
hmm heh mmmm good mornin
you look fairly lost .whatcha thinkin
well i had a dream a long time ago and hmmm this is awkward well umm forgive me but you were not in my dreams back then-delivered with a very hesitant look
she kisses him sweetly thinking back happily,that was no dream
go on she kisses into his ear
his blush alarming her now she grows concerned
what is it please tell me
he cannot meet her eye and his hand -unknown to him,seeks the comfort of her breast
ah last nite..well..it was kind of umm like ..ahh the first time.. with
she interrupts eyes sparkling really? and suddenly feels the slow heat of shyness starting its way up her face..did..did you....like it ? she manages to nibble out and it is the perfect thing to say so close he reaches out for her and the conversation ends

nice real nice.

okay this will continue my tale of john and eddie.when last i wrote the narrator had just seen what he apparently did not wish to
cont from his anguished cry
noooooooooooooo
that is not fair she should not have gone alone today
i wish i had stayed home today.watch out people get out of my way i do not care much more today.the more i think of it the more i see i do actually wish to see someone today lets go see john and what he is doing today i wish to talk to john today i want to tell him what sue did todayi want to make sure he hears what i say go on get out of my way
extra extra read all about it double tragedy hits nicetown
extra extra read all about it
teleprompter clicks
hello welcome to the 10 oclock news im stan pruther
in the headlines today-in what seems to be the worst day nicetown has ever seen a bizarre double twist on trouble has occured in this sleepy little town.
first according to officer peter wright an altercation betweeen pro-lifers and pro-choice demonstrators turned deadly today with 11 dead and 7 injured.local catholic priest greg hart is reputed to be one of the deceased.other names are being withheld pending notification of family.in an unrelated incident a local man identified as having a severe learning disability has been charged with the savage beating of john stone a local football hero.john remains in critical condition at st matthews hospital.john stone sr is expected to hold a press conference tommorrow morning.he has informed our reporter he intends to press attempted murder charges and ask to have bail denied.mrs stone could not be reached for comment nor can john's girl friend sue adams.according to one of sues friends,who wishes to remain anonymous,has indicated sue had not returned her calls in the last 12 hours and has missed her hair appointment.reporter sid sly has this report
yes stan it is a bizarre day indeed.due to the weather local protestors apparently had chosen to use plywood placards after cardboard ones used initially disintegrated in the steady drizzle nicetown has endured for the last week.this choice turned deadly as at least 4 of the injured and 10 of the 11 deceased suffered fractured skulls.a local pro-choice clinic, the apparent cause of the deadly confrontation brewing here since opening,cannot be reached for comment.in addition a local man initially charged with aggravated assault is now facing far more serious charges as john stone, winner of 2 mvp awards for his amazing football prowess, has succumbed to his extensive injuries early this am.charged with 1st degree murder is 32 yr old abraham normal a local man who has been described as "the nicest man youd ever want to meet although perhaps not the swiftest".
yes sid we have been told he had some degree of mental retardation
well there had to be somethingwith him stan,kit fox,a bystander at the scene of this horrendous crime indicated the suspect drove into the back of the deceased's car without slowing down at all,jumped out of his car and drove his fist thru the window and bodily removed the victim from the car reportedly screaming all the while quote"you had better listen to me"unquote.he reportedly then began to start hitting him [john]as she described quote"over and over again.i could hear snapping sounds and then he [john]crupled to the ground"unquote.
apparently overcome by the senseless violence she was attended to by paramedics dispatched to the grisly scene and removed for extremly high blood pressure related issues.
have you heard anything regarding sue adams john's apparent girlfriend
no at this time she has not yet beeen located
has she been listed as missing
no officer peter wright attending the scene is aware of her unlikly absence but has indicated a mp status has not been deemed necessary at this time
do they suspect foul play sid
no stan until a mp has been issued police are treating it as coincidental
thank you....that was sid sly reporting for bs 11 ..on the national front..........
.
good evening this is stan pruther for bs 11 news
in the news tonite a local town reeling from the loss of several prominent buisness men and women and a local priest as well as a noted local sports hero,john stone jr, is now trying to cope with the loss of 18 yr old sue adams the fiancee of john stone aforementioned victim of a vicious attack by a man police are now questioning in regards to sue adams's death nby drowning.local reporter sid sly is on the scene
good evening sid
good evening stan,the plot thickens in this once sleepy town as a bizarre coincidence has local police concerned over the possible involvment of 32 yr old abraham normal in the drowning death of sue adams 18 fiancee and apparent mother to be according to an early report released late this afternoon.of paticular concern to the police is the presence of physical bruising on unspecified locations of ms adams body.due to the apparent severity of the bruises police are closly questioning the man responsible for the brutal beating death of john stone jr ms adams fiance.due to the relationship of the deceased police are suspecting a possible connection.
sid are there any reports ms adams was molested in any way
at this time the police are witholding what they consider is crucial information necessary to the case.
have any witnesses come forward yet sid
yes stan unconfirmed reports have placed abraham normal at a near location for an extended period prior to the established time of ms adams drowning.in a possible development police are speculating that ms adams may have been at the clinic also in the news today in regards to an early pregnancy.as reported earlier the pro-choice clinic reputed to perform abortions on site as well as post procedure care cannot be reached for comment.however unconfirmed reports indicate mr normal was parked in a lot across from the clinic at the time of the deadly confrontation ocuring earlier today at approximatly 8:30 am. according to police the only access across the river is a bridge 2 blocks from the clinic.speculation indicates mr normal may have spotted ms adams leaving the clinic and attemped to confront her.due to established time of death mr normal would have had just enough time to drive to the grisly murder of john stone jr ms adams fiancee.as well and this is unconfirmed stan it has been noted that ms adams had bruising on her wrists indicating a struggle while being forcibly detained.indications are it would have involved a considerable amount of force to cause such extreme bruising.this of coarse calls to mind the injuries sustained by john stone which led to his demise
so it appears sid this may be a related incident however minor to the tragedy occuring at the clinic aerlier
yes stan it is beginning to look that way