My eyes are open…or are they?
Split second decisions I have to weigh
I see the enemy....a kid with a gun
No older then my own son
If I don’t shoot I know it will be the end
The turmoil I feel within, should I let the kid win?
But this isn’t a game there are no extra men
Shoot I must if I want to see my own kid again.
Time is standing still,
This is the hardest kind of kill
I fire, I feel the gun recoil
As I watch this kid’s blood stain the soil
I feel sick, dizzy, and emotionally torn
However, there is no time to mourn
Everywhere I look people are going down
Gunfire and mortars the only sound
I’m watching my comrades hit the ground.
Many I try my hardest but can’t revive
Doing everything I can just to survive.
One year of this life
Until my orders finally arrive
“son you can go home, be with your wife”
Another journey I will start.
I should be so happy that I could dance
But sadness fills my heart,
because many won’t get this chance
Now some may think this is the end,
Not so, now the real struggle begins
For every shot I fired it killed a piece of my soul
And I recognize I’m no longer whole
Some call me a hero, but I don’t see it that way
I see it as a job at a price I chose to pay
So Americans could enjoy freedom another day
Now many years have gone by,
But some nights I still cry,
I mourn for those that I harmed
And for my comrades in arms
Sometimes I pray
That my memory fades away
But it’s kept fresh because of a question
I get asked almost every day
“Did you ever kill anyone?”
And my mind remembers the young kid
That day in the hot sun.
An answer I can’t explain
I wish they knew my turmoil,
And my pain.
It’s time to put this question to rest
Remember two things, The answer
Is probably a ‘yes’
But your forcing soldier to relive
A memory he’d rather repress.
Instead just understand war has a price
And thank him for his sacrifice.

“Did you ever kill anyone?”

a question that should NEVER be asked....

I am saddened by this, deeply touched...I don't have any words that would be good enough, adequate enough....All I can say is thank you and thank God you survived...A deeply moving write Isaac...

Thanks for the compliment but this is not about me personally, but I have served with many who have gotten out on PTSD and other issues and heard different stories from each.

You will never forget. I still won't talk about it except for the VA counseling group with other Vietnam vets. Life goes on.

wow, long time no see.......

wow that's a difficult piece of reality.

Yeah, been with a really awesome girl for awhile now, but these forums are fun for posting things like this, that and I've been in busting my but in school. I still come one here(rarely)

It seems you are quit skilled with another weapon these days. Though I'm sorry you've collected that specific ammunition, you have done your comrades proud with it!

You're a prime example of why we take such pride in our American men. Brave, consciences, and intellegent all wrapped up and ready to go. Thank you so much to you and your like.

Hats off to you sir, You do our country proud. All of you vets.

Nice. I mourn for the kid. He is a victim in some case and you are a victim of your conscience.(based on the anti and pro of the poem)