1. if time doesn't wait for you, don't worry ! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy Life !

2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly, because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian ! Think about this.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearances, and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside... But don't try going out naked tomorrow, to assess how others admire 'what you are inside' !

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world ! That's called Attitude. Keep on rocking !

5. Every woman hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did !!

6. He was a truly good man... He never smoked, nor drank, and never had an affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.. . They said, "He who has never lived, cannot die" !

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles. He's now being sued by Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles !

8. There are so many options for suicide : Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, etc.... But many chose Marriage : It's slow, but sure !

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, the rest has girlfriends !

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive, or married to someone else !

11. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Is it not logical to conclude that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking ?