If I make a promise without intending to make the world match my words, then I am a fraud.

This thread has promises as it's aim. Specifically, I'd like to discuss and/or debate whether or not one ought keep a promise if they make one and why or why not it is or is not the case that they ought. To begin, we must first have a good idea of what a promise consists of...

A promise consists in the performance of a speech act. During such an act, a speaker overtly expresses an intention to perform some future action. 'I promise to do X' always means that the promisor intends to do X. This holds good regardless of whether or not the promisor intends to do X. Of course, in these cases s/he is lying. If a promise is being made and the promisor does not intend to keep the promise as they're making it, then s/he is knowingly and deliberately misrepresenting their own thought/belief on the matter. That would be to say...

'I promise to do X, but I do not intend to do X'

The above is not self-contradictory. If that sounds odd then you're in good company, because it sounds odd to most folk. However, sounding odd does not make it self-contradictory. Let's look at this a bit closer, by separating the conjunction into it's basic sentences...

'I promise to do X'
'I do not intend to do X'

These two sentences can be true without the speaker contradicting him/herself. It offends our moral sensibility, but the statements are consistent with a situation where the promisor is being insincere. Thus, in cases like this the second sentence is not spoken aloud, but rather it is privately known and kept secret during the speech act. The question is why does this offend our moral sensibility?

There are many reasons for our being offended I would suppose. As many reasons as there are connections to be made. I wonder though if there is/are some basic fundamental reason(s) that underwite all of the specific ones.

Actually, this is a good point. But what I'm trying to say is that I have known people to use the word "promise" in their sentence without intending to make a promise and without the intent to deceive. That's all I mean.

Hmm. What does that look like?

No matter how well intentioned, life does not always allow us to keep promises. I try not to make them too often. I promise I will try my hardest or do my best is the closest to a promise I can give anyone. And that's all you can expect from anyone else.

Hmm. What does that look like?

Here is a better example of what I was talking about...

"Hello friend, would you lend me some money?"

"What for?"

"I want to play the lottery. I promise I'll give you all my winnings, ha ha" (I promise to do X is explicitly stated)

"yeah, whatever, here is the money..."

So you have the borrower making a verbal promise without intending to make a promise and without intending to deceive the lender. They both understand that the promise is just a joke.

In this case, "I promise to do X" does not mean the "I intend to do x" nor does it mean that I am deliberately trying to deceive the listener, because the listener knows I'm joking.

I thought you might want to consider this case because kidding around is an important part of relationships. Ironically, kidding around can also cause the greatest harm when it effects miscommunication.

If I make a Promise, I try to keep that Promise. I rarely make Promises because I try and honor a Promise if I make one. Unless something really prevents me from keeping it. I am known as a trusted friend and that is rare these days to find a truly trusted friend. IMO

Here is a better example of what I was talking about...

"Hello friend, would you lend me some money?"

"What for?"

"I want to play the lottery. I promise I'll give you all my winnings, ha ha" (I promise to do X is explicitly stated)

"yeah, whatever, here is the money..."

So you have the borrower making a verbal promise without intending to make a promise and without intending to deceive the lender. They both understand that the promise is just a joke.

In this case, "I promise to do X" does not mean the "I intend to do x" nor does it mean that I am deliberately trying to deceive the listener, because we both know it's a joke.

I thought you might want to consider this case because kidding around is an important part of relationships. Ironically, kidding around can also cause the greatest harm when it effects miscommunication.