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| Topic: A Question of Trust | |
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Thu 02/07/13 11:15 AM
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A guy visited me once and flew here from South Carolina. He left his keys here in his hotel. He called told me about it, I check with the hotel, picked them up and mailed them to him. He was so pleased. All his important keys were on there a whole ring of them.lol
One thing a man can do is trust me. I have no need to check anything that belongs to him. No, I would not check his phone. |
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Personally, I think you are all too trusting. lol
Someone has something to hide if they are nervous of their phone. I look through everything and I am not ashamed. I've been doing that since I was a little girl with my mothers wallet and purse. lol It's FUN to see what a person has. It can tell you small things about them too. It's not always to be nosy or jealous etc. |
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. |
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Thu 02/07/13 12:15 PM
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol |
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. |
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Thu 02/07/13 02:09 PM
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!!  "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO 
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!!  ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that..  |
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!! ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that.. hahahahahahh!!!! Now we know!!!
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!! ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that.. Yes, I had to laugh while writing some of this shyte. Just to clarify...I am not Snoopy, or Sniffer or Mr Recorder, but have heard about these types of things being done. If you have no trust with the cell, what's next? That's my point.  Purses, Wallets,.....could be lots of info right? Panties...Some women have been caught cheating this way believe it or not. Recording...to catch someone saying something, behind your back, you wouldn't otherwise. Where do you draw this line?  I draw it upfront. If you want in my cell ask. If not your breaking and entering and Its adios. I am a decent dude, and your going to treat me like one or I go find someone who will. Simple. I would expect the same. |
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!! ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that.. Yes, I had to laugh while writing some of this shyte. Just to clarify...I am not Snoopy, or Sniffer or Mr Recorder, but have heard about these types of things being done. If you have no trust with the cell, what's next? That's my point. Purses, Wallets,.....could be lots of info right? Panties...Some women have been caught cheating this way believe it or not. Recording...to catch someone saying something, behind your back, you wouldn't otherwise. Where do you draw this line? I draw it upfront. If you want in my cell ask. If not your breaking and entering and Its adios. I am a decent dude, and your going to treat me like one or I go find someone who will. Simple. I would expect the same. Asking first is fine... just don't say no or I'll think you're hiding! hahahahahah!! So if there's no reason to say "no you can't look in my phone".. .why ask first? hahahahah!!! Like Nike says: JUST DO IT!!! lol |
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Edited by
SimplicityAtItsBest
on
Thu 02/07/13 02:51 PM
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!! ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that.. Yes, I had to laugh while writing some of this shyte. Just to clarify...I am not Snoopy, or Sniffer or Mr Recorder, but have heard about these types of things being done. If you have no trust with the cell, what's next? That's my point. Purses, Wallets,.....could be lots of info right? Panties...Some women have been caught cheating this way believe it or not. Recording...to catch someone saying something, behind your back, you wouldn't otherwise. Where do you draw this line? I draw it upfront. If you want in my cell ask. If not your breaking and entering and Its adios. I am a decent dude, and your going to treat me like one or I go find someone who will. Simple. I would expect the same. Oh about the panties thing. How would u know if the woman cheated based on her panties...Is it bc of the stains? Not the usual spots, I'm taking it. Oh, and I only 'snoop' when the dude gives me reason to not trust him, or I caught him in previous lies. Otherwise, his phone aint all that interesting. Btw, we already know about men's Black Book...those things they call their cell phones...and how they keep the number of every woman they've ever met in their entire life...ya know , for 'just in case' |
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!! ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that.. Yes, I had to laugh while writing some of this shyte. Just to clarify...I am not Snoopy, or Sniffer or Mr Recorder, but have heard about these types of things being done. If you have no trust with the cell, what's next? That's my point. Purses, Wallets,.....could be lots of info right? Panties...Some women have been caught cheating this way believe it or not. Recording...to catch someone saying something, behind your back, you wouldn't otherwise. Where do you draw this line? I draw it upfront. If you want in my cell ask. If not your breaking and entering and Its adios. I am a decent dude, and your going to treat me like one or I go find someone who will. Simple. I would expect the same. Oh about the panties thing. How would u know if the woman cheated based on her panties...Is it bc of the stains? Not the usual spots, I'm taking it. Oh, and I only 'snoop' when the dude gives me reason to not trust him, or I caught him in previous lies. Otherwise, his phone aint all that interesting. Btw, we already know about men's Black Book...those things they call their cell phones...and how they keep the number of every woman they've ever met in their entire life...ya know , for 'just in case' EXACTLY!! 
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Edited by
HeadnHeart
on
Thu 02/07/13 03:12 PM
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!! ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that.. Yes, I had to laugh while writing some of this shyte. Just to clarify...I am not Snoopy, or Sniffer or Mr Recorder, but have heard about these types of things being done. If you have no trust with the cell, what's next? That's my point. Purses, Wallets,.....could be lots of info right? Panties...Some women have been caught cheating this way believe it or not. Recording...to catch someone saying something, behind your back, you wouldn't otherwise. Where do you draw this line? I draw it upfront. If you want in my cell ask. If not your breaking and entering and Its adios. I am a decent dude, and your going to treat me like one or I go find someone who will. Simple. I would expect the same. Oh about the panties thing. How would u know if the woman cheated based on her panties...Is it bc of the stains? Not the usual spots, I'm taking it. Oh, and I only 'snoop' when the dude gives me reason to not trust him, or I caught him in previous lies. Otherwise, his phone aint all that interesting. Btw, we already know about men's Black Book...those things they call their cell phones...and how they keep the number of every woman they've ever met in their entire life...ya know , for 'just in case' If you girls don't stop picking on me, I'm gonna cry.... Get the Men and the Boys straight girls! Panties: What i do know is that an ex neighbor caught his wife cheating, after accusing her and arguing about his suspicions for a few years. You've heard of science right? Don't bust an air bubble trying to figure it out though :laugh  If your really suspicious, then it could be justified, if something is found. If not you'll look pretty stoopid |
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((here's a tissue headnheart :) )) lol
if we go sneaking around on them looking for "clues", how are we any different than what we are suspecting them of? some can rationalize looking through a cell phone, not the same as someone cheating on us. but, to me, it just compromises who we are. if i don't trust my partner, then we're talking and if i don't feel comfortable with the answers, we're probably not going forward. but i refuse to turn into a untrusting sneak, just not happening, no matter how crispy burnt i've been in the past, can you say ...charcoal?? lol. |
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No...I wouldn't even think about it...and that goes for her purse, billfold, jacket pockets, or anything else she may have left behind. I think it speaks to an invasion of personal privacy and opens the door to mistrust...and that is one door i would much prefer to remain closed and locked. this totally. it has never even crossed my mind, ever, to do so. This only means to me that you've never been deeply betrayed and then tried to have a relationship afterwards....it's normal to be untrusting when you've been stabbed in the back over and over. Tell me this... if you live in the same house, how the heck are you supposed to stay out of all these private places required by your partner? Why bother keeping things private? What are you hiding? Now if someone is looking through your stuff and you've never, ever done anything to them to warrant that, maybe you need to have a conversation with them and offer your support to help them get over their insecurities. Hell, maybe you are doing something that looks shady to the other and that's why looking through your things has become an option??? Seems there's tons of people in these forums that walk away at the drop of a hat. This is not how to have a lasting relationship. Just saying. I agreed with them, so here's my take on it. I have definitely been betrayed, but I do not, transfer that to another individual. Each person deserves the chance to earn my trust, though their words matching their actions. I am big on that idea. Yes I can be skeptical about certain actions or track records that some bring to the table. I judge each person separately, not lump them into my issues of not trusting. I go with my gut instinct about people and I observe them without judging, unless something I perceive needs to be brought up. If someone was needing something from any of those "places", they should ask and I would be more than happy to show or let them look through it if need be, as I wouldn't be hiding anything. If something seems shady, then ask about it. If someone needed to snoop, then I would consider them not trusting me, and a breakdown is already on its way is it not? Someone who would snoop would set me off thinking, they are a control freak, paranoid and possibly very insecure. I am very independent and don't want or need someone with those temperaments, nor do I want to have to be looking over my shoulder at them. If I want that type of excitement, I'll go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters there... Example: If I have a few friends who send picts of funny, stupid shyte sometimes and I surely don't want to be grilled about the findings of this non-issue stuff. "They" shouldn't have been into in the first place, at least without asking, imo. I judge each person separate too, but I will not forget the lesson I learned by being "trusting" (more like ignorant). If I didn't become smarter than I was before being burned, then I went through it in vain. All that you said still doesn't explain to me why you'd care about someone going through your stuff. It's not always about not trusting you...sometimes it's just fun to go through what someone owns. Control freak? I wonder what that means to you. Control of what? Their own life? And who they are trusting WITH their life? Do you have any idea how many really scary rotten men are out there posing as good respectable men? They don't show any other characteristics of just how scary they are. So investigating is necessary to me to protect myself. If a man cares for me and has nothing to hide, he wouldn't care what I went through as long as I didn't throw anything away lol I've had 3 very long term relationships where not one of them cared I went through their stuff. I've never heard of this privacy thing. There IS no privacy in a intimate relationship. Ok, except for a journal lol I haven't forgot any lesson's I've learned. I am not always trusting, as it comes in time and with actions. I am smarter than before those experiences. I'm not scared to let someone go through my stuff as I've been in long term relationships and married as well. Ask and you shall receive in that case. If its fun to go through others stuff, go to garage sales or out to the trash bins on wednesdays, get a national enquirer or something else to focus on....lol I do understand that Men and Women can be scary for many reasons. I wouldn't live with them or get too involved if I didn't feel we had trust in the first place. I just don't automatically put them into those categories without reason. So it is always a risk, letting someone get close period. I do observe, pay attention, communicate and such, as to get to know the woman I'm investing time with. Lets just say that with all words said, some may be read into the wrong way, dissected and misconstrued. If I have to justify each thought, word or occurrence in my general communications because enquiring minds want to know, that spells Trouble. If a woman feels the need to keep me within the gates of all her personal beliefs or boundaries, Im not for her. I won't ever walk on eggshells again. No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? You see, it starts there and can go further for those who may feel that need. I do understand your feelings and justification. No bueno for me. "No privacy at all in an intimate relationship? So it's ok If I barge into the bathroom while your doing your business? " It depends what I am doing...and no, we weren't describing this type of privacy. We are talking about cell phones. Why hide what is in your cell phone? If you have stuff in there you can't show your partner, you shouldn't be trusted right there. "or how about sniffing or testing your panties frequently? " WTF??? Who DOES that????? wait... don't answer. I'd say have at it if you enjoy such things or want to know what my panties smell like that bad. I don't care. My panties are fine JUST the way they are thank you, and I still have nothing to hide in my panties! hahahha!!! "Putting a recorder somewhere hidden, to catch your conversations with your friends or Mother? Following you around, when you leave? " This wasn't ever part of this topic. I'm not going here. Let's compare apples with apples here. It doesn't have to progress... I simply said I cannot know who my man really is until I've checked all his stuff! lol If I've wasted an entire year on getting to know this guy, then find out he's a massive child molester I'm not going to be a happy girl! That's all I'm saying. Men don't really have this to worry about do they!?!? That's right... its us women that have to worry about Mr. Pervo out there. I'm not waiting to find out years down the line because I trusted him and let him keep everything he wanted private. NO BUENO OMG. This is too damn funny!!!! ...To add to that, I had a pervy ex that was all into sniffing and 'collecting' women's worn panties. I wonder, at times, if he wasn't the only one that did that.. Yes, I had to laugh while writing some of this shyte. Just to clarify...I am not Snoopy, or Sniffer or Mr Recorder, but have heard about these types of things being done. If you have no trust with the cell, what's next? That's my point. Purses, Wallets,.....could be lots of info right? Panties...Some women have been caught cheating this way believe it or not. Recording...to catch someone saying something, behind your back, you wouldn't otherwise. Where do you draw this line? I draw it upfront. If you want in my cell ask. If not your breaking and entering and Its adios. I am a decent dude, and your going to treat me like one or I go find someone who will. Simple. I would expect the same. Oh about the panties thing. How would u know if the woman cheated based on her panties...Is it bc of the stains? Not the usual spots, I'm taking it. Oh, and I only 'snoop' when the dude gives me reason to not trust him, or I caught him in previous lies. Otherwise, his phone aint all that interesting. Btw, we already know about men's Black Book...those things they call their cell phones...and how they keep the number of every woman they've ever met in their entire life...ya know , for 'just in case' EXACTLY!! Yep, must be that all us MEN fit into your BOX.... But generalizing is so sexy....
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