As many of you minglers already know, I am a tarot card reader and my new years resolution for 2013 is not to take things seriously anymore.

I am combining the web-bot with my tarot cards to make off the wall predictions of the probable future events of 2013.

Note that they are strictly and completely made up and for entertainment only, and I don't expect any of them to be accurate except in some alternate reality.

For now, here are the general news highlights for January 2013 imaginary events that will probably not happen.

January:

Massive UFO sightings get the attention of the major media and are explained away by officials as "light refracting off of a weakening earth atmosphere."

Gun sales reach a record high, and as media whores continue to focus on gun violence, more people rush out to buy guns for their protection and movies about home invasions invade the nightly television networks.

February:

Asteroid 2012 DA14 smashes into a spy satellite on Valentines day and is dubbed the St. Valentines day disaster as it gets deflected and plunges into the pacific ocean causing global coastal tsunamis.

President Obama presses the removal of the debt ceiling so he can borrow more money to keep the government running.

Damn spy satellites!

Okay I would like to invite all Minglers to post their predictions for 2013 here too.

i predict that people will realize that 9-11 was just a bunch of pissed of muslims, and people will start loving Israel in late February... (as long as we are doing crazy predictions...)

I predict earthquakes will happen.

When pigs fly.

Good pick.

I also predict the USA economy will collapse under obamacare.

I predict the beginning of the collapse will become apparent in April 2013. But it will not just be the USA. The world economy will begin to collapse in April.

People will refuse buying Obama-Care,and will go to Prison where they HAVE to be cared for!

Private prisons run by gangs.

oh dang, this was supposed to be inaccurate predictions...I made a boo-boo.

I predict an escalation in world wide violence to begin near the end of February. An attack on Israel is going to get totally out of control and Palestine will be invaded later march. This will also begin the kick off of major assaults in West and Central Africa by Islamics and will lead to an all out fur ball of secular war. The tension is already there with population figures as high as they are.

The grand economic collapse will happen about August. This is so that the New World Order has by November to attempt a suppression of the American population before Winter makes their efforts harder. They will fail because for all their planning there are variables they didn't take into account or over looked. By the end of this year we may be facing a grand awakening of Americans and a realization that we either put a leash on entitlements and our leaders or we will never break the cycle of stupidity that makes so many more lives miserable than just our own.

But who am I to make such grand predictions?

Tarot Bot????

Yep... its a cross between tarot and the web bot.

This new Tarot Bot prediction just in:

Ian Brady, Child serial killer, age 75, now serving time at Ashworth high security hospital, near Liverpool, will finally get his wish and die this year. Predicted date is September 9th, 2012.

It will be announced on January 10th, that Hugo Chavez's inauguration will be postponed and that Vice President Nicolas Maduro and top aids will rule until his return. They will announce that they expect his full recovery.

Unless he dies of course in which case they will bring forth his body double.