Is it possible to overcome the fear and resentment from been in a DV relationship? I want to meet someone nice and have a good long term relationship but find it hard to trust and am always withdrawn and shut myself away now and it ends up driving men away I want to have that confidence to walk into a relationship and be able to enjoy it but every time a guy even goes to even hug me a flinch and then they get the impression its them but I'm just finding it very difficult to overcome that fear from a past relationship that left me very emotionally and physically traumatized: ( some help please, thanks.

This may come as a surprise to you, but I used to be a battered husband. I still have the 4 cm./1 1/2 in. scar that an ex-wife of mine put on my left arm. After I got away from her, I met a woman who treated me right. Sadly, she died after nearly 12 years of marriage to her.

Anyway, if you can obtain it, then you'd benefit from counseling. Are there any counseling programs for victims of domestic violence where you live?

Just how long has it been since you were in a violent relationship?

(((Emma)))..Yes, it's possible to overcome the trauma of domestic violence...Counseling and support groups are very helpful, but what you are describing sounds like a symptom of PTS (post traumatic syndrome) which is a common side effect of prolonged violent or threatening situations and could require medication in combination with counseling...If you have a medical doctor, start there by talking candidly with him or her so that they can recommend a treatment plan specific to your needs....Urging you to take care of you before you begin another relationship so that you don't find yourself in a similar situation..

Being that Emmaleina lives in England, she may not have the same resources that are available in the USA. So, I really don't know what to tell her regarding the help that is available to her.

I benefited from a prescription for an antidepressant that my physician gave me. I also benefited from becoming involved in a church group that excelled at being gentle with hurting people.

Hello from England, Emmaleina: a very poignant and emotive posting indeed, and a courageous one, too, in my view. I can well understand how you are feeling.

Believe me, Emmaleina, when the right gentleman comes along - as he surely will - you will feel so relaxed in his company that you will know instinctively that he is the one for you. He will fully understand how you feel and will treat you with courtesy, consideration and the utmost respect - and you really will know! In short, he will treat you exactly as a gentleman should always treat a lady, and as a result your fears will soon subside.

This might be considered a somewhat old-fashioned outlook nowadays but nonetheless this is exactly how a gentleman, a true and sincere gentleman, behaves.

I hope this has helped a ltiile.