10 Reasons Not To Jog –

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

"I've always said that excercise is a short cut to the cemetery."
-Horace Rumpole

You never see a smiling jogger.

Sorry about the grandma...she turn up yet?...joke!

I know plenty of people who play sport and they always seem to carry injuries? Is this to give the air of an active person without having to really do anything? The all seem to have the $300 pairs of joggers whereas I get by with a $50 pair. Perhaps that satisfies their alta ego.

How many sets of gym equipment do you see by the roadside for a council pick up? There as cheap as chips on Ebay if you want one. How many people have lapsed gym memberships, now be honest.

The human heart only has so many ba dumps, why anyone would do anything to accelerate those ba dumps is beyond me . It don't make sense, its like wipin before you poop.

If your heart stops in the middle of one of those bumps, your going to poop anyways. This is a fact in death.