Topic: How to Shower Like a Woman/Man | |
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How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs. 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 17. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife/girlfriend along the way, shake penis at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your penis and scratch your ***. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Wash your face. 6. Wash your armpits. 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower. 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 11. Shampoo your hair. 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 13. Pee. 14. Rinse off and get out of shower. 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 16. Admire penis size in mirror again. 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife/girlfriend , pull off towel, shake penis at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. 19. Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone one among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you |
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Hot Damn!
Right on the money! |
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That's a good one |
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Glad you have all enjoyed this ... It is funny how the truth is sometimes the most humourous ... love this section of the site ... Many laughs to you all ... cheers from a crazy canuck
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Brillant.....
and so true....and rip roaring funny... nice work Garrett |
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The woman part tires me just reading it...i need only 5 steps,not the whole 17 episodes.
The man part was really funny and gave me insights ive never imagine exist when men goes into shower.. You made me laugh canuck...woke me from boredom while waiting for the mass to begin..thanks! |
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Edited by
HeadnHeart
on
Fri 11/30/12 05:57 PM
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Masterful and hilarious!
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LMFAO :)
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Nice to see both male and female alike see the homour in the truth
Stay smilin' |
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Haha!
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