1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

13. Think about this ... No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where therapy hour is a nap.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

If rap is a golden oldie I'm glad that I probably wont be around in 40 years!

just think of all those saggy titties with nipple rings. he he

not to mention that the butterfly that was tattooed on the hip 40 years and 80 lbs later is going to be as big as an eagle

In my 20's, I considered a rose bud tatoo on my breast. Good thing I passed cuz it'd be a long stem now.

The ubiquitous lower back tattoo in 40 years...... hmmmm.

dont' say that i want a tattoo on my lower back!

17 SCREA THE HELL OUTTA ME LOL AND NUBER 5 IVE NEVER LEARNED TO TAKE THAT ADVICE NO WONDER IM IN DEEP WATER ALL THE TIME.

SCARES . NEED TO STOP LAUGHING ABOUT 17