NEW YORK—While stressing that he “in no way discriminates against or dislikes homosexuals,” Sesame Street star Elmo admitted to reporters Wednesday that he is “no longer comfortable” working with his now openly gay puppeteer, Kevin Clash. “While Elmo respects Mr. Clash’s decision to come out as a gay man, it does make Elmo somewhat uneasy,” said the 26-year-old furry puppet, adding that Clash’s sexuality “conflicts with [his] personal and religious beliefs.” “Elmo simply does not agree with the gay lifestyle, and given the unique puppet-puppeteer relationship, Elmo believes that having daily physical contact with Mr. Clash as part of Elmo’s employment is now inappropriate.” At press time, Elmo had submitted an official request to the Sesame Workshop to be transferred to a different puppeteer.

this little Stinker is getting way too big for his Britches!
Wait,he ain't got no Britches!