okay, so I really do not know what exactly i should do in my life. I mean i don't wanna just go with the cycle (birth-growing up-learning-job-marriage-family-death). I wanna break it I wanna do something that nobody will do< i wanna be happy and proud of what i did in my life when im 60 or 70 years old. I want to make everybody feels jealous, Is that too much to ask ? I don't know maybe the movies made my exceptions about life and lot in my personality. I know some of you will say go to a therapist and discuss these issues with him or her, but guess what a lot have happened to me in the past 4 years and they were the fastest 4 years i had and think will ever have. I choose to write everything happened to me here. just wanna take it all out. so what im gonna do is write everything here within the next few days. finally, I'm sorry for any disturbance i may do.

Thanks, A.M
PTSD

Hang in there friend.

You say you don't want to go with the cycle yet on your profile you say you want marriage. So, does a part of you does want that cycle? You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. You need to take time to find yourself and learn about who you are but that is just my opinion.

Life is a b**** and then we die.

On the plus side we can make the b**** pretty, or ugly with our decisions.

Mine is going to be a f****** mess, like a Picasso, you?

Just my opinion but personally I would rather people Respect me at age 60 or 70 because I have lived a life of Honor and Integrity instead of people being jelous of me.

I agree ..you say you don't want the cycle...but in so many words you said you do. Sounds that you want the approval of others as well. You want to make people jealous ..that is seeking the approval of others just to be happy.
Good luck to you.

Why did you sign your post with PTSD? Do you have PTSD? If so, you ought to address it the sooner the better, and yes I would think therapy would be the way. But maybe they were just some meaningless letters you threw in for no reason? You did say a lot has happened to you in the past 4 years. At any rate, I don't think the way to happiness is by trying to make other people jealous. Go with your first thought and look for things that make YOU feel good inside. Just doing that is hard enough.

Patience, self-knowledge, compassion, and inner courage will get you far. Don't worry about whether you're following a common trail or not. But waiting around is guaranteed to make you regretful. Best of luck to you.

Whatever you want to do with your life, you have a lot of time to think about it. There is really no need to rush anything. There's no time limit or life sentence.

Plus trying to make people jealous doesn't always work. I guess it depends WHO you're trying to make jealous. Not a lot of people take the bait. People are strong from within themselves. So fighting fire with your fire is just more fire. Nothing much more. Plus Ssome don't react. They're too busy getting on with their own lives to give a damn about what some stranger is doing. They have relatives and friends, so they will be too busy being involved in their world. Some will be good at figuring it out if you play games.

Just my take on it....

Don't hope for a good life...MAKE IT a good life.

Don't have a good day....MAKE IT a good day.

Some people say "God will provide "...I say "God has more important crap to deal with than giving me something I can get for myself "

It is good and honorable to want a good life...earn it. It is a lot of work with a lot of lonely days...but, when you find yourself genuinely happy....it will be because you have dealt with the bad times....and pushed through.

Only you can make your life what you want it to be.

Best of luck.

Jokes apart my friend OP,

what I believe is totally different theory of life than what you are expecting from life.

I have seen many people who just don't work out anything in their whole life because they want to do something different than others, they just keep thinking about & waiting for right opportunity without experiencing the ground realities. Obviously after passing time that way, they have to keep complaining about their life itself, that it didn't offered any opportunity to them....alas!

I see & feel god in small things.I do what I'm interested in with all devotion,hard work & loyalty irrespective of what do that job / work meant for others,how many people are doing it & how many are avoiding it. I don't care for if the job / work is common or extra ordinary ,I do it religiously & try to do it better today than how I did it yesterday...believe me, many different people got happy, surprised & complimented me many times for plenty of different jobs I did this way.

I never bother whether same job / task is done / is being done by others,I just see,understand & do it in my way. The admiration / jealousy too don't bother me.Actually it is difficult for me to understand the mentality of enjoying people's jealousy.

I believe there is a very thin line between proud & egoism;better way decency & politeness has more charm.

birth-growing up-learning-job-marriage-family-death is actually being followed by us (We,the most social & successful animals - human beings) because some of our most successful ancestors have followed same path.

Anyway some things there, like birth,growing up & death are by default stuck with every living being & you have seldom to do something to effect those. You have already followed two of them like everyone...that is birth & growing up,in rest third activity (!) (death) also I bet you will have to die one day for sure as you have taken the birth
However,it would be interesting(!) to know from you ( within next few days ,as you said) how are you going to break the said cycle
of learning-job-marriage-family.

Few of the person I know had already broken this cycle,some of them left education at school level only ( Do I need to tell,what the hell are they doing now? ) Many didn't preferred doing job,some of them are successful entrepreneurs ( What else am I going to break??) Ok,many people I know,who got married,many didn't,many broken up once,twice,thrice & more times too...hence there too, not much scope to brake something Family?? Is there any family system existing there?? Or by family you meant just your spouse,kids & pets??

Anyway..again jokes apart...some wise man said

"Winners don't do different things,they do things differently!"

Think that way,if you can!

All the best!!