There is no such thing as independence. Independence is an illusion.
We are all interdependent and it is wise to recognize how we all
rely on each other in various ways, accept this and learn to gracefully
help others and learn to gracefully appreciate others helping us.

Since we are all interdependent in various ways the only difference is
how to divide our responsibilities. There is no way to divide equally
so we share the duties/chores as best we can according to our talents
and capabilities and learn to enjoy the gift of each other.

are men really into that primal thing still?
Tarzan brings home the bacon,
Jane cooks it?

my guys would prefer that i stayed home and let him take care of me...
but i love working and having my own thing.

he says do whatever makes me happy but at the same time he's made it very clear what he wants.

what do you guys think about this?

Funny thing is I always go for the seemingly strong andindependent women but as I get to know them they turn out to really be the damsel in distress. The girl I'm with now though does truly have amazing strength. I'm truly and deeply in love with her as she is with me. We're teaching each other and learning from one another, it's really a beautiful thing, love is.

I disagree with this statement too. I am indeed independent and have never been dependent on my boyfriends for anything. They never once shared the chores or the finances, or helped me. I do have male friends offer to help me but most of the time I don't accept as I am capable of doing for myself. Sometimes I do gracefully accept but other times I simply don't need thier help. Its not a crime to say; thanks but no thanks; however you men can't seem to see that.

you missed the point. the point is that although we all have
freedom to do as we wish there is no way particularly in a real
relationship to have independence. even roommates do not have
independence. that's why it matters who gets in the shower first.



there is no problem with doing for yourself or choosing not to get
help from someone else for any particular task. but that is not a
relationship. when one is in a relationship then one relies on the
other person in a variety of ways and must always take the others'
needs and abilities into account as a point of mutual consideration.

of course it is always best if both partners have the ability to do
a wide variety of tasks without needing help from the other person!
but that certainly does not make them "independent". i have always
had extremely smart strong and capable girlfriends who can do most
of the things which i can do also and it was usually great!

it's not all that bad though!