I would contact the police and at least make a report. If he goes to the same school as her, I would contact them as well, and make them aware of the situation. This sounds like a serious situation.

You have a very serious situation here that could easily turn out tragiclly. A teenager with this kind of problem, especially with gang affiliations, is not something to mess around with. He doesn't have the impulse control or emotional skills to cope with this kind of rejection and your family has unwittingly grabbed hold of a "snake" that you don't dare let go of in any thing short of a controlled environment.

I don't know what the laws are in your country but I expect putting anything in a letter box is a security breach on a much higher level than the school district or local cops so I would take full advantage of documenting that crime and all others and get him off your child's grid before he reacts to this rejection on and even more escalated level.

If you under estimate your ability to diffuse this situation you could well find your daughter blown to bit with a letter bomb or gang raped by this character. You are way in over your head and so is your daughter. She won't be fiesty very long in a hostage situation.

My advise would be to send your daughter to a relatives for at least the summer and hope that out of site is out of mind and he moves on to a new obsession but be prepared for the likely hood that he is not got a chance with anyone else and he is not going to give up on your daughter being under his thumb any time soon. I would refer you to a domestic violence help line ASAP.

Hmm, thanks you two for your advice.

First I would videotape it then tell his parents. Get him on video before you tell anyways, otherwise you are wasting your time.

How about just going to his dad & chat parent to parent. Gang or no, he might respect being respected as a equal parent. Just a thought.

In general situations talking parent to parent can be a great idea.

But with gang affiliation all to often in an innergenerational problem.

Thinking you can talk rationally to a parent that has a mentally ill child who is active in a gang and is not going the distance already to handle the problems tells me they could care less, have abdicated, or don't have the resources to deal with this situation either. Even if the parent wanted to if the child is not an immediate threat to self or others he is old enough to sign himself out of treatment. So then he would be on your door step again.

This kid is most likely only occassionally living at "home" if at all and more likely living in a gang squat or couch surfing at various locations. Going to the guardian is more likely to get the kid kicked out and amplify the problem.

I think an issue is parents tend to believe their children and can become defensive. It's best to have proof before going in with accusations whether or not you know the truth.