Hey all, I'm new to Mingle2 and just wanted to get some feedback from those who feel inclined to share. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanking you all who share in advanced!

Best wishes to everyone!

Not a bad start, but perhaps leave the virginity part out and save that for those you get to know. Also, I'd choose a different picture as your main one, it cuts off your head in the current one.

Hey thx for the feedback, I really appreciate it:). My thoughts for adding that in my profile are as follows:

It's a great filter for those who don't respect my decision.

Why get to know someone intimately or at all if they don't respect my decision?

As my decision has been a lifelong one and never something that was hidden, I feel it's necessary to show how important my values are to me from the get-go. :)

I never noticed the pic cutting off my head lol, thx. I'll try to get that sorted out!

Again, thanks for your feedback :)

I think that it is very nice that u r still 1 and choose 2 let everyone know it! That way u can filter out all the 1s that won't mean u any good and really find a good match 4 yourself!

Well, you did ask for feedback and that's what I gave you. There's nothing that says you have to take any of the suggestions people give.

"Well, you did ask for feedback and that's what I gave you. There's nothing that says you have to take any of the suggestions people give."

You're right, I respect what you and others have to say. That's why I asked for opinions:). I was just giving my logic for putting it which is also my opinion and thank you for your respect and straightforwardness.

@ngrif761
Thanks, much appreciated.

Welcome to Mingle.

Remember you ask for this.

I would not use a lead pic with sunglasses. It suggests a secretive or deceptive approach. The burnout spots from too bright a light and the absence of the top of your head make this a poor picture to use.

I find talking about one's level of sexual activity kind of tacky. TMI

I am not sure what you would define as decently attractive but the phrase is offensive.

If this profile doesn't hurt your chances at dateing I would be surprised.

"Welcome to Mingle.

Remember you ask for this.

I would not use a lead pic with sunglasses. It suggests a secretive or deceptive approach. The burnout spots from too bright a light and the absence of the top of your head make this a poor picture to use.

I find talking about one's level of sexual activity kind of tacky. TMI

I am not sure what you would define as decently attractive but the phrase is offensive.

If this profile doesn't hurt your chances at dateing I would be surprised."

Hey there PacStar, first off thank you for your input! The pic I have up now doesn't cut off my head and I only made it my lead because Singmesweet was referring to my other pic which was my lead at the time and does cut off my head. So i'm not sure if you're piggy-backing off her comment or not. I'll edit my other pic so that it doesn't cut off my head when I get a chance.

Saying "you ask for this" implies you know what you're about to say is something I may not agree with and you've said things for which I will consider however, it was seemingly demeaning.

You did not even mention 1 thing you liked about my profile.
To say you'd be surprised if my profile doesn't hurt my chances at dating, isn't exactly constructive and seems like an unecessary jab.

Singmesweet at least had 1 good thing to say about my profile along with her suggestions and I appreciate all of what she had to say.

If you mean no offense, and just worded it wrong, I understand. As I may have worded "decently attractive" wrong as well. What I was trying to get across is that i'm not looking for a supermodel or something of that nature, but would still like to be attracted to my potential mate as is natural for a relationship. I will definitely look into changing that, so for that, I thank you. Thanks for your suggestions, I look forward to getting to know you:).

If you're going to ask for feedback, you need to be aware that you'll get all sorts of feedback. Your profile may work for some and not at all for others. Getting upset about the feedback you get isn't going to help. You don't have to take the suggestions, but keep in mind that you did ask for suggestions. There is no rule that says someone has to like your profile.

When it comes to attraction, everyone wants someone they're attracted to. "Decently attractive" tells us nothing. Why not describe the kind of person you're looking for so we'll know what you think "decently attractive" means?

Just because I respond to the feedback I asked for does not make me in any way upset. Have I not been thankful each time even when I personally felt some of it was demeaning? I took what I thought was good input and left what I didn't like alone. I simply pointed out that I asked for constructive criticism which was a far cry from what I received with PacStar and even still, I was not upset.

Constructive criticism is criticism kindly meant that has a goal of improving some area of another person’s life or work, and saying she would be surprised if I got any interests at all is in no way constructive, how does that help any, why was that comment necessary?

How would you react if you asked for constructive criticism and someone told you your profile is worthless? (because it would surprise someone else if they found your profile to be something other than garbage...)

As for "Decently Attractive" I described myself in this way, so how should anyone take offense to such wording if I apply it to myself?

Well I've said my peace, and I hope she takes it with a grain of salt as to what constructive criticism is and how it's used. Again, thanks for your feedback I really truly do appreciate it.

Describing yourself as "decently attractive" does not tell us what kind of woman you're looking for. I'm not sure why it would offend anyone. It just doesn't tell me anything.

Yes I see you moved the lead shot you were previously useing. If you are referring a third picture that had been previoulsy removed I was referenceing the shot with the sunglasses which is scalped too. I am not going to continue to review your profile.

But no actually I did not word it wrong. I worded it exactly how I meant to word it. And no I did not "piggy back" another poster. I can have my own opinion.

Reminding you that you ask for constructive criticism isn't implying anything. Criticism is not pleasant to hear. It takes genuine interest and maturity. However critism is not deeming unless you did NOT ask for it and you did so you are not going to put words in this review that do not exist.

And no I did not candy coat it with some fiend compliment. Your and adult asking for a review. Not some little kid who needs to be pampered or pander to by your elder.

If you would have asked for praise, encouragement, or rewrite suggestions you might have gotten that. Highly unlikely since insults, arguements, and lectures when someone takes the time to answer you will hardly endure you as truely thankful or anyone I am interested in getting to know.

As far as commenting if I had seen you did something well I would have noted that. As hard as it might be to strike out it should tell you that this profile needs a lot of work , or removal, rather than whineing, debateing, or explaining what you mean. I don't care what you mean.

It's cool that you're comfortable with your virginity, but not so cool that you got so preachy after receiving the criticism you asked for. I would worry more about my people skills than my profile.

I don't know what you're seeing, but the pic with shades is definitely not scalped, so you saying it was in the first place red lights you as piggy-backing on the other poster.

Anyways, no matter how you want to twist and misconstrue the definitions of constructive and criticism it will always remain that constructive criticism is by definition, kind to help improve. Asking help for the purpose of improving my profile with constructive criticism is in no way related to me wanting fluff and praises. I expect what I ask for and comments like "If this profile doesn't hurt your chances at dateing I would be surprised." is in no way helpful, where in that sentence does it show a step towards improving my profile (which is what I asked for)? There is absolutely nothing I can take from that with the hopes of improving my profile.

As a matter of fact, you are actually implying that no one would be interested in dating me since you would be surprised if I got a date. I feel I have to repeat myself just so you can see such a simple point. Your implications tell a story so you can't hide behind, "However criticism is not deeming unless you did NOT ask for it and you did so you are not going to put words in this review that do not exist." I didn't ask for criticism, but constructive criticism. You didn't mention one thing that could be improved in your comment. How in anyone's right mind that comment could be considered constructive is beyond me.

It's funny you say if I asked for such and such I would have gotten that. However, I asked for constructive criticism and you gave the complete opposite...

What good is taking the time to respond to someone with irrelevant answers? It is your choice not to get to know me which you felt while writing your post, yet you still respond anyway? I don't mind if you think I struck out if that's your opinion, but why post something that does nothing to improve me which is what I asked for? Since when is trying to understand the OP and open debate looked down upon and considered whining? Why post if you don't care what I mean in the first place, doesn't it make your post meaningless since you're not even trying to answer with something meaningful?

I sincerely wish you the best.

@Snuffulluffuguss

Thank you for your post. Again, I'd just like to reiterate that criticism in and of itself is not to be confused with constructive criticism.

As I mention in my profile, I have no troubles meeting and befriending people.

Just to shed some light on some things, the reason I am so open with it and I posted it is not because I have problems talking to girls and can't get dates. The issue is, all the girls I've dated always wanted that intimacy whereas I always wanted to wait.

I figured if I posted openly, it would filter those girls who want something more than what I'm willing to offer before marriage and it would be more fair to the both of us if they made that decision before we actually got to talking. That info makes it tacky in the eyes of probably most, I understand that. But it would effectively be no different than just meeting girls, getting to know them face to face and telling them. At least here, the girl knows what they're getting themselves into and I know that they are willing to wait without having to question if they know or not. Know what I mean jelly-bean?

But with posts like "I don't care what you mean" and not wanting to understand the OP's intentions is just... sad?

FileMe, by the way you're responding here, you're telling us much more about yourself than your profile showed. You're quick to get mad when someone gives an opinion that you don't like. You like to argue. You're very defensive.

Relax a bit. You asked for feedback. Not everyone is going to like your profile. Getting mad about it isn't going to help.

You can assume I’m angry, but I've been calm in every single one of my posts and haven’t been angry once. I don’t mind showing others that I like to think through things logically rather than resort to name calling. I will try to explain myself if I feel I’m being misunderstood or misrepresented not because I'm being defensive but because I don't want there to be any miscommunication. I would hope others do the same instead of letting others be malicious to them and unnecessarily take jabs at them :o.

I don’t like miscommunication. I like to connect and relate which is opposite of someone who says, “I don’t care what you mean” but yet, had much to say and still posts for petty reasons like defending their maliciousness. Don't let your speed-reading create a bitter tone in your head for what I am saying; I assure you I am calm, rational, and level headed :)

Time to EAT! :D

Thanks again ;)

*wow 10 posts so far, you guys are really putting me to work here, lol*

I didn't see any malicious comments or name calling,maybe I missed that though. I think you might want to start over, before you really jam your foot in your mouth,lol.

@blueeyes2000 Your comment put a smile on my face! According to most the other posters I already did jam my foot in my mouth :P. "Name calling" was definitely the wrong phrase to use. I meant more along the lines of backbiting, to speak spitefully or slanderously to another, which is the same intent as name calling :P.

What was slanderous? The comment about being surprised if I got a date was, as it was an attack rather than something I could use to improve. There was no takeaway value from it and it was a comment served with intent to inflict suffering which is malice.

To that comment in respect with constructive criticism, "If you don't have anything nice(constructive) to say, don't say anything at all" fits well hear.

I know what you're thinking, "You asked for it"... please read on ;).

There is a stark difference between helpful feedback that I may not agree with vs. a comment which it's only intent is to slander.

I just had a great hamburger and curly fries, whew, so please don't tell me to stick my foot in my mouth! lol...
I'm just kidding! :P You have to be able to laugh at these things ;)

*by the way, how do you use the quote thing. I've tried several times and utterly failed! lol. I've never coded so I'm at a loss! :P*