I've always heard, from various people growing up, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That a person's inside was what mattered, as opposed to their outside. As I got older, I saw, and witnessed, that this wasn't the case. Let's just be real here: people are selfish bastards who will easily say, "We can be friends" or "I love you like a friend. A brother/sister, actually!" to someone who isn't their personal definition of 'attractive', but will turn around and spread their legs to a 'cute' guy, or in today's world, the ******** and douche bags, or get their ***** hard for the next 'piece of ***' that walks in their direction. The world is driven, and attracted to, this idea that physical perfection is the basis for a long and illustrious relationship. Size 0's and fake breasts are all that one man needs to be happy, while a sizable bank account and a closet full of shoes are all that one woman needs to be happy. ********. Absolute, utter ********. Why is it ********? Well, I guess to find the answer to that, you'll have to keep reading, don't you?



It's no secret that I am a large man. I am not a skinny man, nor have I ever been. I've been a bigger guy for as long as I can remember, and as far as I know, I've always been ridiculed for it. What can I say, kids are ********. It's called life. We've discussed this before, did we not? Moving on. But I think I discovered just how harsh the world can be when I finally looked at girls in a different light. Puberty tends to do that, you know? Crushes, staring from afar, admiring from a distance, imagining yourself with your crush, etc. You name it, I did it. It's normal. When I was in high school, this all changed. I had a lot of crushes, but I never acted on any of them. Why? For one, they all seemed to have boyfriends, or the appearance of such. Two, they were athletic, while I wasn't. Major turn off from what I hear. And finally, it seemed as if every girl I ever developed feelings for was on some sort of medication, or needed to be ON some sort of medication. Think about that for a moment. I recall this one moment during my Sophomore year of high school. I was given a red rose during my 7th period art class. I didn't know what it meant, but it was nice. Yes, I like getting flowers. And I adore roses. There you go. Anyway, I went back to my locker, and there was a note stuffed inside of it. It said, 'From an admirer'. I never got anything like that before, and it made me feel good. A few weeks later, I finally found out who did it. For the sake of keeping this person's identity a secret, I will just call her 'Iris'. Iris was the one who put the note in my locker, but her intentions weren't to get to know me like I had thought and dreamed about for weeks afterward. Her intentions weren't to be asked out to the dance that was coming up in a few short weeks. No. It was to make the fat man feel good. You ever dangle food in front of a dog? And you see that longing look of hope in its eyes? Yeah. I had that look. I found out the truth from one of my closest friends at the time, and it crushed me something fierce. I cursed her out with the most venomous things I could think of at the time, and I flipped her off. I got a detention for it, but in my mind it was worth it. I was heartbroken, and you never, ever play with someone's heart.



Needless to say, I didn't trust girls much after that, even though you're not exactly supposed to let one bad apple destroy the bunch. My high school love life was pretty much nonexistent, which was fine. I didn't have time to be caught up in drama, nor did I have time to ogle at who got pregnant that week. I can't begin to tell you how many times I wanted to legit rage quit and just not go to school. That's another story for another day. Trust me. Moving right along here. You're probably asking yourself, “What does this have to do with anything?” Well, it's quite simple. As I grew older, and as soon as college became a part of my life, I've seen how men and women handle other types of men and women. I'm no expert, but I can tell you how many times I've heard, “I like you as a brother”, “I love you as a friend”, “Any girl will be lucky to have you”, etc. I am so tired of hearing that stuff from women nowadays. It makes me want to legitimately taze them. There is no joke here. I'm honest with them; be honest with me in return. It's funny how a smile from one person can mean something, while that same smile from someone else can mean something totally different. People base way too much on appearance. People look at appearance more than they look at the heart and soul of a person. That really pisses me off. But, I will say this, I find it hilarious when a 'pretty' girl has issues with her loved one. Why? They always, ALWAYS run to someone like me. And they seriously think that we want to hear about their problems? Not always, no. If you opened your eyes and saw the good man, or the good woman, in front of you, you wouldn't BE crying your heart out right now, would you? I don't think so. As far as I go, I love women period. I don't have a size preference. I just ask for honesty, a sense of humor and intellect. It seems as though when I'm out with them, all they see is a big guy. They don't bother to get to know James Jones III, nor do they get to know my depths. They see my body, and then they either friend zone my ***, or they play the 'brother card'. Or, my personal favorite, the 'We should hang out again sometime' speech. It's always nice to hang out again, but you never have time TO hang out. Yeah. I got a chuckle out of it too.



Some of you may think that this is just sour grapes. Well, you couldn't be more wrong. This is about my borderline seething hatred for people relying on society's image of beauty and perfection, as opposed to trusting in yourself to see the beauty and perfection in others. Do I find size 0's attractive? It depends, really. If you're an angry size 0, then I will feed you so you can calm down. If you're a happy-go-lucky size 0, I will give you a hug. That's just how I am. I get to know people: I don't give a flying **** what you look like. Big, small, tall, short, fat, skinny, I don't care. I never cared. I have another example for you all. A few months ago or so, I went out on a dinner outing with a young lady at Panera Bread. Now, she's skinny, shorter than I am and she's a bit shy. I didn't care. I just wanted to eat dinner with her and get to know her a bit better. We were talking, and she was telling me about her plans for herself after college when she finally graduated. When I am interested in what you're saying, I look at you. I smile. I actually listen to what you have to say. It's called 'being courteous'. Try it sometime, ladies and gentlemen. Anyway, she stopped in the middle of her conversation and asked me what I was looking at. I wasn't really looking at anything in particular, but I was listening to what she was saying. After we ate, we said our goodbyes and went home. Later that night, I get a text from her saying that she just wanted to be friends, and that she wasn't looking for anyone right now. That's another one of my favorites, by the way. I wasn't looking for anything either, and I was somewhat taken aback when she sent me that text. If I was interested in you, I would've told you up front. Besides that, I enjoy having conversation over dinner, or any meal for that matter. If I wanted to eat and run, I would've just went home. That really bothered me for a few days, especially since she just assumed that I was wanting to get with her. Nay, madam. Nay.



All I have to say is this: love the skin you're in. Don't follow the hype or the whore that is the media. This reality TV ******** is NOT our reality, so stop worshiping it like it's some sort of god. I know plenty of women, who are larger in size, who are ****ing beautiful. If they didn't live far from me, or if they actually took a chance and said a slow yes, I would love to see where things went with us. Again, that's a different story for a different day. Honesty is the best policy, this is true. However, don't use lies camouflaged as honesty. That just makes you look like a cynic. A coward. An *******. I am who I am. I love who I am, and I love the man I see in the mirror. At some points in my life, there have been women who did the same. I don't try to be someone I'm not. I am James Jones III, and at the end of the day I will remain James Jones III. To all of those women who starve yourselves to look like a Jennifer Lopez, or a runway model: stop. It's not healthy, and it's not attractive. Be proud of who you are. If you weigh 85 pounds, or 285 pounds, be damn proud of it. There will always, ALWAYS be a man out there who love every curve on your body. Guys, stop trying to kill yourselves with these schemes to get buff quick. Stop trying to appeal to this idea of perfection. You're perfect the way you are. Trust me. Everyone is different. Be damn proud that you're different from the other 6 billion people on this planet. DARE to be different. It's not just a phrase: it's a way of life. If you have something about yourself that you truly don't like and can do without, do away with it for YOU: not for society's warped image of what you NEED to look like. Take it from me, you'll hate yourself in the long run.



That's enough for right now. I just had to speak on this issue, especially since it's something that I hold close to my heart. For all I know, those who are reading this may have been in my shoes. Take it easy, guys. Have a good one.

Well said. I Did take the time and read..all of this..Was well worth it.

DARE to be different. It's not just a phrase: it's a way of life

Thank you, 2KidsMom! Much appreciated! My writings can be a bit lengthy, I admit lol.

I admit, I would not normally take the time to read something this long..But it kept my attention.It was honest.and heartfelt.I really enjoyed it..Thank you.
I will be watching for more.

The pleasure is all mine. I will be writing more. :)

Waist line is a direct indicator of health. Humans are designed to seek out people with a trim waistline for survival reasons. Anthropological studies have been done on art of primitive societies and found that the statues and paintings show a waist to hip ratio of .7 for women and a .9 for men, which coincides with our modern views of what is beautiful. Studies have been done on primitive people who haven't been exposed to modern cultures and it was discovered that the men would almost invariably choose women with a waist to hip ratio of .7, which again supports the idea that our ideals of beauty are innate to our DNA for survival purposes, rather than being an artificial construct of our culture. As a fat guy, I've accepted this. I'm not happy about it, but I accept it.

That's pretty interesting, actually. I never knew about that, and I thank you for sharing that with everyone. :) I don't particularly agree with it to be honest, but, I can see why some people would. The only thing I adore about hips and waists are if I can hold them when I hold my lover. Other than that, the science behind hit just makes me think too much lol.