I met this guy. He is cool and all but he was insisting I stay off Mingle and I missed all my friends so I am back on to be with my friends. Do you think I did the right thing?

TL

He sounds a bit controlling and insecure. You probably did the right thing. If you really like the guy, there are self help books that could help him work through those issues.

I stayed off mingle for a while, it was my own choice, during the beginning of my relationship, until we built a stronger bond, and she knew for sure she is the only one. I'm back on mingle and she knows it's just for the forums and friends.

But, if someone is insisting you stay away because they are afraid you will leave. They probably know something about theirself, you don't, and that something may not be a good thing.

I could see if you started actually dating him and you were on a site like Match.com or something specifically geared towards singles and dating. But this is a social site as well. It seems to me like he's insecure and possibly a bit controlling to forbid you from being on here. I say welcome back and keep a good eye out

I am an adult and when someone trys to start telling me what I can and can not do it is the time I say SEE YA!

Would I have great interest in hanging out on Mingle if I had a serious relationship? No offense Mingle Pals probably not. Would I abandon it entirely no way . I would most likely pull out the lap top and chat with my pals, share some of the forums I like the best, and not sweat it. Either someone trusts me or they don't.

I sure am not going to waste my time with a jealouse person who does not trust me. I don't care how hard you try to be transparent and respectful there is never enough.

My guess is it is more often a guilty concious than someone really distrusting me or women in general.

Same opinion I have of guys who try to tell me that they have had serial relationships where they have been cheated on. You get into it you find out they picked someone willing to cheat with them in the first place and they got their just due.

I think it's probably normal for him to ask that of you if he thinks of Mingle like a normal dating site. Most sites are used by people for the sole purpose of meeting someone to date. And, if you are seeing someone, there's no reason to be on them.

But, Mingle is different. If you participate in the forums it doesn't take long to realize that. Maybe you could explain to him why Mingle is a place you enjoy for the forums and not a dating site. Maybe invite him to join.

Bottom line is though, if he means a lot to you and he's really uncomfortable with it, you should stay off of Mingle. It's not worth losing a great guy over.

I decided pretty much the same thing. The any guy that insecure was not worth my time. And if they are jealous of a computer web site, you know my real life guy friend friends, they are never going to trust me ever. I mean I shoot hoops. My one friend is a radio announcer and I always listen to his show. Another friend is a screen writer and I read his scripts. I don't want to have him been like the soup Nazi on Seinfeld "NO MALE FRIEND FOR YOU!!"

I think u did right

for your disobedience your computer privileges are revoked

you will be Assimilated, Resistance is Futile, We are "BORG"

So everytime he's not looking, you're secretly working Mingle on your phone or laptop? Come on. You both just need to discuss this. Let him know that mingle isn't just a dating site. Strongly Reassure him you wont do anything silly or stupid...and PLSSS don't. :)

Absolutely, and you are always having man problems?

She didn't say anything about "secretly." Don't put words in her mouth.

Oh, hello intercessor!

I will ask....

no offence....

You met a guy who doesn't want you on Mingle.....

How much did you talk about Mingle? If you just met the guy and he knows about Mingle....then he knows about it. Did you mention it in passing or was it the main topic you had?

If you barely mentioned it...then he is a control freak. If Mingle and the people here was at least 80% of the conversation...then he did good to jump ship.

no I do not think you did the right thing - if I found the real thing in real life, you'd never see me again

but that's not my reason -it seems disrespectful to me - you should have discussed with him first if you are in a relationship where he has made his preference known

that is my opinion - that's all - I don't expect many on HERE will agree

Please be nice kids..or I swear to God ....I will turn this car around RIGHT NOW!!!!!

(you two are both new...please...I like you both...as a personal favor.....be nice)

Thanks

Good for you Terri!

Come on, I'm the nicest girl on earth! Lol. Let's leave it at that. :)

T, tell him to hit the road and lf need be help him pack. Ill send you bus fare for someone like that.

You have a genuine reason for being on the site but maybe he is trying to get you to focus on the two of you for just a bit? Makes sense. But so does your having open communications of the harmless variety.