Not you! lol

oh whew...so I make your face go

I was speeding because I have to get where I am going in a hurry before I forget where I am going.

If pulled over for speeding you're suppose to say that your ex ran off with a cop and you thought that it mighta been him trying to bring her back!

Hello? Toll lady? Thanks for not caring when I was a dollar short at the toll booth. Man, I hate tolls!

Why didn't I answer my phone? Because it is my phone; it belongs to me, so I use it for things that I want, not what everyone else wants. Just because everyone carries a phone these days doesn't mean you're entitled to talk to whoever you call, whenever you call them.

It so happens that I had a cat curled up on one leg, and a dog curled up on the other, and if I reached for my phone, one or both would wake up and get down, and we're all so cozy I just didn't think it was worth it.

You lie like a wh@re on a Saturday night. If being a d@uchebag is a disease, then your way into the terminal zone, my friend. Yikes.

someone asked if i would ever share every detail of my life with anyone.
i said,
'but i do.
his name is joshua.'
she said i'm a dumbass for trusting a male,
and that you probably only want to have sex with me.
o.O
hahahahaha.
so that's what you've been doing this whole time!
you bastard.
you could have gotten laid a long time ago if you had just asked.

Thank you, Europe, for being so far ahead time wise, so when its 4 am here, and insomnia has me in its nasty grips, I can chat with all my European friends. <3

Amen!

Gawd...love the Clown pic

Death is after you. RIP

i hate you

Bro, try not to hate on anyone, even if they backstab you :D

I know