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Topic: Here's the deal
Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:04 PM
I met this single guy on another dating site, we have been friends with benes since Labor Day. We both stated that we would only have sex with each other and that if and when we found someone else we would let the other know what was happening. Well my heart has fallen and I realize I really care for this guy. He continues to date other girls but not really that much, and no sex in involved. He recently met a nurse that I think he is attracted too, although we have great chemistry and he has always treated me good. Although he never said the words love and no valentines day card. Today was my birthday, although he took me to the movie and we I was with him, no card, no gift. Should I give this up? He was really hurt by his last wife who dumped him and he said he is taking it slow and dating around first. What do you all think I should do? Hang on on hang it up.

paul1217 Joined Fri 01/29/10 Posts: 904	Sun 02/19/12 06:16 PM
Friends with benes, has a variety of meanings mainly because the word friends can have a variety of meanings. I have heard of people on dating sites, often men, suggesting the "friends with benefits" to women they haven't even met yet. If this man is really a friend, then you should be able to tell him how you feel and what you want. If you two have a solid friendship as a base then you should be able to talk honestly and the friendship will survive. The benefits may or may not survive the discussion, that will depend on the depths of each of your feelings. Talk to him, if you don't you might lose the entire friendship. Good luck.

Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:22 PM
I really don't know if I culd be just friends with him. I really love this guy. I want him for myself. I doubt if our friendship could survive if I knew he was with someone else. That would take some doing on my part. I think he knows how I feel, I have used the word love to him once or twice, I try not to use it because I dont' want to pressure him into anything. I guess this is a no brainer, I need to give it up. He doesn't want me as his true love or he would have told me by now. I guess I just answered my own question. Love hurts.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 02/19/12 06:25 PM
I really don't know if I culd be just friends with him. I really love this guy. I want him for myself. I doubt if our friendship could survive if I knew he was with someone else. That would take some doing on my part. I think he knows how I feel, I have used the word love to him once or twice, I try not to use it because I dont' want to pressure him into anything. I guess this is a no brainer, I need to give it up. He doesn't want me as his true love or he would have told me by now. I guess I just answered my own question. Love hurts. Yes, you did. I'm so sorry.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 02/19/12 06:30 PM
I met this single guy on another dating site, we have been friends with benes since Labor Day. We both stated that we would only have sex with each other and that if and when we found someone else we would let the other know what was happening. Well my heart has fallen and I realize I really care for this guy. He continues to date other girls but not really that much, and no sex in involved. He recently met a nurse that I think he is attracted too, although we have great chemistry and he has always treated me good. Although he never said the words love and no valentines day card. Today was my birthday, although he took me to the movie and we I was with him, no card, no gift. Should I give this up? He was really hurt by his last wife who dumped him and he said he is taking it slow and dating around first. What do you all think I should do? Hang on on hang it up. do not believe for even a moment that he is not having sex with the others he sounds like a selfish "wants to have his cake and eat it too" type u deserve better RUN and do not look back

Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:32 PM
Hey I will survive. Just gives me more of a clear pic of what I want in a man. And what to expect. He probably wasn't for me anyway. I'm too old to cry to much over a man. I'm pretty hot for my age. LOL

Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:33 PM
I met this single guy on another dating site, we have been friends with benes since Labor Day. We both stated that we would only have sex with each other and that if and when we found someone else we would let the other know what was happening. Well my heart has fallen and I realize I really care for this guy. He continues to date other girls but not really that much, and no sex in involved. He recently met a nurse that I think he is attracted too, although we have great chemistry and he has always treated me good. Although he never said the words love and no valentines day card. Today was my birthday, although he took me to the movie and we I was with him, no card, no gift. Should I give this up? He was really hurt by his last wife who dumped him and he said he is taking it slow and dating around first. What do you all think I should do? Hang on on hang it up. do not believe for even a moment that he is not having sex with the others he sounds like a selfish "wants to have his cake and eat it too" type u deserve better RUN and do not look back

Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:33 PM
do you really think so? Wow, maybe I better.

burgundybry Joined Mon 03/05/07 Posts: 8084	Sun 02/19/12 06:35 PM
I met this single guy on another dating site, we have been friends with benes since Labor Day. We both stated that we would only have sex with each other and that if and when we found someone else we would let the other know what was happening. Well my heart has fallen and I realize I really care for this guy. He continues to date other girls but not really that much, and no sex in involved. He recently met a nurse that I think he is attracted too, although we have great chemistry and he has always treated me good. Although he never said the words love and no valentines day card. Today was my birthday, although he took me to the movie and we I was with him, no card, no gift. Should I give this up? He was really hurt by his last wife who dumped him and he said he is taking it slow and dating around first. What do you all think I should do? Hang on on hang it up. do not believe for even a moment that he is not having sex with the others he sounds like a selfish "wants to have his cake and eat it too" type u deserve better RUN and do not look back Great advice!!

Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:36 PM
Thanks I think I will. I had some doubts but I was putting them aside, hoping that he liked me as much as I him.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 02/19/12 06:37 PM
Hey I will survive. Just gives me more of a clear pic of what I want in a man. And what to expect. He probably wasn't for me anyway. I'm too old to cry to much over a man. I'm pretty hot for my age. LOL Yes, you definitely are!! I'm sure all the guys here agree.

Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:39 PM
Awwww thanks Ruth, you're sweet and a great moral booster. You're wonderful !!

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 02/19/12 06:44 PM
Awwww thanks Ruth, you're sweet and a great moral booster. You're wonderful !! No, I just call 'em like I see 'em. Now, dump that guy and get ready for Mr. Wonderful to walk into your life.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 02/19/12 06:47 PM
do you really think so? Wow, maybe I better. it is my impression based on how u described the situation, yes but you know best, really you know him I do not just keep the things I said in mind - protect your heart good luck with your choices - ultimately my real wish is that u find & have what u want - of course !! welcome to mingle

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 02/19/12 06:48 PM
I met this single guy on another dating site, we have been friends with benes since Labor Day. We both stated that we would only have sex with each other and that if and when we found someone else we would let the other know what was happening. Well my heart has fallen and I realize I really care for this guy. He continues to date other girls but not really that much, and no sex in involved. He recently met a nurse that I think he is attracted too, although we have great chemistry and he has always treated me good. Although he never said the words love and no valentines day card. Today was my birthday, although he took me to the movie and we I was with him, no card, no gift. Should I give this up? He was really hurt by his last wife who dumped him and he said he is taking it slow and dating around first. What do you all think I should do? Hang on on hang it up. do not believe for even a moment that he is not having sex with the others he sounds like a selfish "wants to have his cake and eat it too" type u deserve better RUN and do not look back Great advice!! thanks hey it's listening to u guys on here that has made me smarter

Italy0219 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 2523	Sun 02/19/12 06:51 PM
Awwww thanks Ruth, you're sweet and a great moral booster. You're wonderful !! No, I just call 'em like I see 'em. Now, dump that guy and get ready for Mr. Wonderful to walk into your life. Yeah,I kinda knew it was coming to this. Just had to vent a little. and cry a little, he was a great lover, wow. Gonna miss that part, and he always smelled so good. Ugggg. As Adele said, sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

burgundybry Joined Mon 03/05/07 Posts: 8084	Sun 02/19/12 06:55 PM
I met this single guy on another dating site, we have been friends with benes since Labor Day. We both stated that we would only have sex with each other and that if and when we found someone else we would let the other know what was happening. Well my heart has fallen and I realize I really care for this guy. He continues to date other girls but not really that much, and no sex in involved. He recently met a nurse that I think he is attracted too, although we have great chemistry and he has always treated me good. Although he never said the words love and no valentines day card. Today was my birthday, although he took me to the movie and we I was with him, no card, no gift. Should I give this up? He was really hurt by his last wife who dumped him and he said he is taking it slow and dating around first. What do you all think I should do? Hang on on hang it up. do not believe for even a moment that he is not having sex with the others he sounds like a selfish "wants to have his cake and eat it too" type u deserve better RUN and do not look back Great advice!! thanks hey it's listening to u guys on here that has made me smarter nah, just lessons learned in a past life

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 02/19/12 06:58 PM
I met this single guy on another dating site, we have been friends with benes since Labor Day. We both stated that we would only have sex with each other and that if and when we found someone else we would let the other know what was happening. Well my heart has fallen and I realize I really care for this guy. He continues to date other girls but not really that much, and no sex in involved. He recently met a nurse that I think he is attracted too, although we have great chemistry and he has always treated me good. Although he never said the words love and no valentines day card. Today was my birthday, although he took me to the movie and we I was with him, no card, no gift. Should I give this up? He was really hurt by his last wife who dumped him and he said he is taking it slow and dating around first. What do you all think I should do? Hang on on hang it up. do not believe for even a moment that he is not having sex with the others he sounds like a selfish "wants to have his cake and eat it too" type u deserve better RUN and do not look back Great advice!! thanks hey it's listening to u guys on here that has made me smarter nah, just lessons learned in a past life that too!

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 02/19/12 07:00 PM
Yeah,I kinda knew it was coming to this. Just had to vent a little. and cry a little, he was a great lover, wow. Gonna miss that part, and he always smelled so good. Ugggg. As Adele said, sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead. I know. Just do what I do and walk around work (or wherever you go during the day) spontaneously yelling out, "MEN SUCK"! Makes me feel better.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Sun 02/19/12 07:46 PM
I really don't know if I culd be just friends with him. I really love this guy. I want him for myself. I doubt if our friendship could survive if I knew he was with someone else. That would take some doing on my part. I think he knows how I feel, I have used the word love to him once or twice, I try not to use it because I dont' want to pressure him into anything. I guess this is a no brainer, I need to give it up. He doesn't want me as his true love or he would have told me by now. I guess I just answered my own question. Love hurts. If I were you, I'd think it through. 1. There are two ways at this point: you stay with him (in this case go to point 4) or you take a tearful good-bye. 2. If you take a tearful good-bye, you may rekindle (in which case go to point 1), or drift, and then 3. eight years from now you'll find another really likeable one. Whenever you find a really likeable one, go to point 1. 4. If you stay with him, you will be happily going out with him, (in which case go to point 5) or your heart will be broken, in which case you will be asking us how to mend a broken heart. Then it will eventually heal, slowly, and over a long period of extreme sadness and emotional suffering. But at the end, in about (go to point 3) 5. You will get married, or at least settle down with each other, and live happily ever after.