Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand.

After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"

Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

Pull my finger.

that damn Jerry is nO hunter

your dog don't hunt?

there's nO hunt in my dog.

then you should shoot that dog!

(Sorry, this might be slightly racist.)

Two rednecks friends go hunting together. One accidently shoots his friend and rushes him to the nearest hospital. He waits anxiously pacing the corridor to speak to the doctor. Eventually the doctor emerges and the friend asks him how his friend is doing.
"Well, I can't lie to you sir. It's touch and go. It might have been better if you hadn't gutted him first....."