Dear Diary,

I got to sleep in, pulled all my black curtians, turned on the air conditioner for the 1st time in days(be DAMNED the power Co.)(been over 100 degrees for about two weeks now)

Survived the date from HEll!

Got to play in the sandbox too! (my date was too much of a weenie, what he had of one)to come inad get sand in his pants. (he was mad that I wasn't in his pants and not in mine either)

Back here amongst friends and all thier funnies, love and caring. Wish we were all closer

Dear diary ,
heres one for my pets..

Dear Beloved Pets:


The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate
and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish,
nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because
I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.
I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue
sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched
out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails
straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob
or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must
exit through the same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or
feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or
cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To return the kindness of your obedience, my dear pets, I have
posted the following on our front door so visitors to our home know
what the rules are here:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and
Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted children who
are short, hairy and walk on all fours. Although they don't speak
clearly, they communicate extremely well, especially my cats.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for
money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called
(this does not apply to cats), never drive your car, don't hang out
with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about
having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't
need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant,
you can sell the children!

hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa omg that is sooooooooooooo trueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee purpleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

LMAO you forgot to mention parrots but I'll forgive you this once

Dear Journal ( real men don't write in Diaries SO SAGE told me .. LOL ) ..

That Purple Cat is one freakin FUNNY lady .... LOL :)

Purple

I love my pets..
I have a budgie too..he is not mentioned either..nor fishies ,,
but ..Cats are awesome!

Dear Diary,
I am in so much pain i've got tears running down my face. I don't want to take my vicodin's so do i go without or take a couple of ib's?

(((((Katers)))))
I hope you feel better soon my friend.


Purple that was a good one, thank you for the laughs.


Dear Diary,

Today has been a good day so far. I visited with my youngest brother before he headed to Winnipeg. Please watch over him and his team, let there journey be safe and please help them do well in all of their games.

It is so beautiful outside.... I hope that today continues to be a good day.

I will write more later
CJM

Thank you hun

Dear Diary.....I went out today.....where there were real live people Strange people, men, women, it just didnt matter were smiling at me all over the place. At first I thought maybe I had a big black bug on my nose or something but when I checked.......nothing!!!!

Im very disturbed by all this smiling!!!

Dear Diary......Ive been thinking vewy vewy bad thoughts!!!!

lol@gypsy......lmao2gypsy...

dear Diary, I've sure missed my dear friend Purple, she is a kewl gurlie!!

((((((((((((CATCH)))))))))))))))
!!
hey you !!
have not seen you round these parts for awhile !!
hope all is well !!?!!....
* ** @))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))<

(((((((((purple))))))))

I was at the ranch for a bit, doin what I do..

Then I didn't have internet for 10 whole days!!

All is well my friend!!
hope the same!

<{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{@>~~~~~~~~

oh , I'm ok ...
omg......
ten days !!! ewwwwwwwwwwwwww...lol...
well good to see ya!!!

dEAR dIARY......i MANAGED to spend $300 in 1 hour...then I seen a beautiful couch set and I was 1 inch from taking out my credit card and going crazy and then I rushed myself out of the store......and took myself to taco time!

yea I ordered Verizon DSL & couldn't even wait for the stuff in the mail, I loaded this peoplepc.. what a bunch of crap. good thing I can get into IE then MSN & Yahoo..

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtechnacalities!!!!eh !!!!
an Gypsy......mmmmmmtacozzzzzz...
I had bacon and hashbrowns for dinner..my hashbrowns shrunk so much I'm starving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!