Topic: Giant Sloths Hired To Be Strippers
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Thu 01/19/12 08:13 PM
A small town in Kansas has been getting a lot of media attention the past few days, once it was discovered that a prominent local strip club had imported half a dozen giant sloths to serve as strippers. Ben Carmona, who has worked at Davey's Exoticorium since 1987, told reporters, "It's just business. Used to be a whole bunch of desperate girls around these parts, and they'd just take their clothes off at the drop of a dime. But what with the economy getting so bad lately, those girls have moved on to places like Topeka and Guatemala. We had to do something."

An anonymous patron of the Exoticorium said, "It was a little hard to get used to at first. But me and the boys, we mainly come here to drink, and after a few, the sloths really don't look much different from the girls they used to have here. They do still have some problems with that pole, but I figure they'll get used to it after awhile."

Carmona told reporters that the biggest problem for the sloths, other than their inability to use the stripper pole in an effective yet arousing manner, was training them to remove their clothing. "Sloths don't normally wear clothing, but this group seemed to like the outfits. It was hard as hell to teach them to remove the clothes, but we finally got them to do it. They're really slow, though. I guess that's just the way of their people."

When pressed on the question of the sloths' genders, he admitted that he had no way of telling how many of them were male and how many were female. "We haven't checked," he said. "I'm not sure where to look, and I'm not sure that I want to. I'm betting that some of our clients will want to find out though. Two of the sloths are learning how to do a lap dance."

The sloths could not be reached for comment.

ujGearhead's photo
Thu 01/19/12 08:17 PM
Note to self........ Stop in Kansas on the way to California.....

skywisper's photo
Thu 01/19/12 08:53 PM
what WOW.

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Thu 01/19/12 09:00 PM
No pictures?

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Thu 01/19/12 09:15 PM

No pictures?



Some sort of copyright issues....


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Thu 01/19/12 09:29 PM


..sounds interesting..i don't suppose they do lap dances 'cause ifn' they did well let's just say they might be a little slow getin' away from my sexual advances providen they could assure me as to which ones were female cause'n i don't swing that there other way..i hear once you go sloth you never go back...:laughing: