everyone is doing it (not sleeping) just the way it is right now

oh wait, generalizing again
rephrase, everyone i know is not sleeping (much) as of late

An old Hungarian folk-custom advises for insomniacs to put two long blades of grass across the dinner plate before you put your food out on it, and say three hail marys. After you put the food on, sprinkle it with sparklers, but make sure it's not arsenic-based. Quietly say an ourfatherinheaven during the sprinkling.

After dinner have three large glasses of water. NO COFFEE!! Eat a few bags of potato chips, then watch the sunset from five minutes before the official sunset time to five minutes after the official sunset time. Take a shower, but don't use water, only soap and shampoo, as usual. Then wash the soapy stuff off with wet corn husks and wheat hay. Slowly make your way to the bed, or bedroom, if you have one or both of these in the place you live at. Pinch the carpet with your toes in each step, with your left hand make a swagger-movement horizontally in front of you, and with you right hand, keep on lightly slapping your face, alternating the cheeks as you hit them.

In bed already, try to empty your bowels of gas -- those are the number 2. toxins that keep people awake. Don't go to the washroom, at all, all night. If you have too much fluid, expectorate it through your mouth.

You will sleep like a baby.

You can try rubbing one out before you go to bed. A helping 'hand' never hurts