I've had the same best friend since my freshman year in high school, so I never go looking for my best friend when it comes to dating.

Maybe you should actually look for someone to date from the beginning, rather than spending a lot of time becoming friends and then becoming interested?

I kind of thought that is what I was doing. When I asked them out for drinks and or dinner. As time passed and we got to know more about each other and started spending more time together we naturally became what I would call friends. I understand that you can be friends with someone and there isn't always that connection. This is why I have asked some of them, as my friend, is it something about me or what I am doing. I can't seem to get a straight answer. All I ever hear is " you are such a nice guy, you deserve someone who cares about you"

That doesn't help much!

Are you making it clear from the very beginning that you're interested in dating? From what you said, it doesn't sound like it.

Do men often take you out to dinner multiple times if they want you to be just their friend? Perhaps I am waiting to long for the physical part to happen "naturally" but I was raised to treat women with respect. Yes I have been taken advantage of on occasion, but most of these women are still my friends. We of course drift apart when one of us get's seriously involved (usually her). I just seem to keep repeating the same mistakes, I just don't know what it is.

I go out to dinner with friends quite often. If you're not doing anything other than taking them out to dinner multiple times, then they may not get that you're actually interested. Try being completely upfront the next time you meet someone you're interested in and ask her out on a date. Make sure she knows it's a date, rather than just a friendly dinner.

If nothing physical is happening for a while (even if it's just kissing), you're probably sending the idea that you're not into her.

I don;t think you are doing anything wrong. I am not sure that you are repeating mistakes. My question would be where are you meeting the women you are meeting?....and honestly - seriously - look at some meet ups that do not involve buying dinner

that will roust out some of the users - and give u a chance to assess the characters of some of these women

a good woman will not let you purchase multiple meals if she is not interested and a good woman will be fine with a coffee or drink date as an initial meet up to see if there is a "spark"

also totally agree here

I omit what I've said before. I personally would ignore them for a while. Maybe the feelings will erase finally and you can think straight again. This one is tough to answer. If i had feelings for a friend id never tell them. Especially if that's basically all you'll ever be....and you know this to be the real truth.

Paul....guys who become a chick's "friend" usually don't get said chick. The reason for this is mostly the vibe that a guy who end's up in the "friend zone" gives off. Ever notice how a guy acts like "friendly nervous" with a woman? Oh sure. He is more than likely funny, sweet, kind, blah, blah, blah. But he also shows how nervous he is around the girl because he likes her more than she likes him. I'll tell you something that I find to be very true. If you watch a girl the first time you meet her, or hang out with her, you can tell if she wants more from you (more than friendship that is). Women (most anyways) do show how they feel about a guy. Us guys (some of us anyways) are too dumb or too naive to notice.

Since you told her how you feel, then all you can do is just move along with your life dude. Waiting for a girl who doesn't want you in a romantic way should be out of the question. Sometimes you have to take shots to the gut in order to progress in life. I say you start meeting women and just try to not become their friend. See what dating brings along and go from there.

I got an answer...

My best friend is a chick who I have known for almost 20 years...

You don't screw up a good thing just cause of what you (a guy) is feeling..horny.

Love for a friend will surpass desires for personal gratification man.

You wanna get laid...go get laid. Leave your friend out of it, cause real friends are rare and should be treasured. If you are willing to risk damaging a friendship to bust a nut....you ain't as good a friend as what you may want to believe.

If you are really her friend....you can make it past what you want.

So try to get some soon. Before you waste all this time and money. For a freind the next girl will hate.

I wouldn;t listen to the guys on here - if your female friend is interested in you as a potential long term partner, she will prolly move slowly

and if she finds out you've been boinking the neighborhood - even with the good intention of waiting for her to move forward - she will write you off as a manho and find someone else

a friendship with a guy on this site ended for that reason - he couldn't understand why he couldn't boink boff and bing every willing chick on the site and remain my "friend"

ummm NO - even if there is the slightest chance we could become a couple - no - I would never move forward with a man who behaved this way

I doubt I'm totally alone on this

so be yourself, Paul - which from the sounds of it - is fine

If you're just friends with someone, you have no control over what someone is doing with others. I'd say you have no control over it until there is commitment from both sides.

well I do agree and I don't - I agree that it is not good to try to exert control - but not just before a commitment - but after it is also not good to try to "control"

commitment had nothing to do with it

Actually, after a commitment he certainly would have no control over me that's for sure

and if he were looking for such he'd be sorely disappointed

it wasn't control or commitment I was looking for - I was more watching to see how he behaved - making an assessment of character so to speak

the friendship ended because it is not a behavior I will put up with - I had no expectation of controlling him - it was more of "OK, this is how he is."

"Can I tolerate that? .... NO" So, that was that.

I won't try to control him (or any guy) but I will walk away if he exhibits a behavior that is objectionable... (to me - I admit it is completely subjective on my part. but the behavior I described is one I will not tolerate - it's a deal breaker for me)

so it is how he is - but I am looking for someone who is NOT like that -it is a character trait I do not care for from someone who I may be intimate with - so ya, that's all she wrote...

First Paul forget about chicks on this site. Unless they live close by. But you want a relationship that includes sex. So dont wait forever.

careful sometimes it works out great n you can potentially end up with a happily ever after or you can end up like me end up ruining a really great friendship n end up resenting the other if it doesnt work out

Yeah, if you're actually out on a date with someone (and she's aware that it's a date, not just a friendly dinner) don't hold off on kissing. If it's not there when you kiss, it's not there. You're not going to find that out until you actually kiss, though, so why wait? And if you wait too long, then you may lose the chance to find out.