my girlfriend has not got her divorce and the man she was married to put fear and doubt in her mind not only abusive with drugs and all sorts of things this guy is bad news what do i do to help her out so she dont have to fear or hate everyman like its her husband cuz she is in so deep with deep of depression and she is all messed up what can i do to help

ask her what you can do to help. and.. just be there for here in anyway you can. and keep that bastarrd away from her! heh

Love her, take your time, always make her feel safe, be prepared to stop in the middle of sex; because she has a flash back, never never lie to her, in other words love herwith all your heart, mind & actions.

It is a hard road, but it can be traveled.

PS. Go to counciling with her.

i like that jay but u would have to see it to know what i mean i have heard to do both love her and charm her and others hav told me to give her space i just dont know what is best

thats exactly right counseling would be the best fro her to understand herself that nothing is wrong with her, and go with her to help yourself as well so you both would have a good understanding if you dont get the help then there will be problems later.. you care a great deal for her and be there but if sex is not what she wants following through with that as that part is not important what is that you can emotionally be there for her, and that is a BIG PLUS!!!

in all honesty sex is not my concern its well being mental and physical cuz she is also prenant with my child so i have 2 concerns there and where i live not much of any jobs

Be there for her! And be patient!

Depression is a hard one to get through to the individual's mind-set and help with. Sounds like there are several complications. Knowing the way she honestly "believes" about herself and her self-worth is gonna be a key factor. Counseling can be frustrating, especially in the beginning, so be prepared for that. There are several online sites for helping with this. How deeply ingrained her belief about herself goes and her desire to change that belief will end up being huge. In many ways, dealing with really deep depression is similar to an alcoholic learning to stay away from alcohol. It truly can be an actual "reprogramming" of an individuals belief about what they deserve. This has been my experience with myself and in dealing with a close friend. Coping.org may help.

Keep sight of your love,

Wench

Wow what a story to tell, and wow what a true one!!

Do you two see each other at all??..

Whats her age and the guys age she wishs to get away from.

that sucks man.. thats a really tuff situation.. maybe you could move away together and start a new life somewhere with out him messin her up anymore..

she was with this man at the age of 15 parents didnt really care to much got pregnant with this 22 year man child and had no choice but to get married now she is in the depression of is he going to come back and harm her like he did before her parents say that iam the best thing that has happend to her and now she is afariad to divorce him or even go on with life and that is what i sense she saying hes almost 25 years old has women at the tip of his fingers and the gang life drugs and alchol is very sad

Oh man! I don't know that much about gang violence, so hopefully you do. Hopefully, you also know the area and what you're dealing with and how to deal with that aspect. If not - get educated real quick and learn well.

gangs i dont know much about but iam not to worried cuz my town most people stick together and we dont stand for that but ya i may get educated on it so i know its a tuff world now days and it sucks

the best thing you could do would be to get the hell out. she is NOT whole and ready for a relationship...be her friend, and nothing more.

encourage her to get into counseling...get her a book titled "co-dependent no more" that helps a person see into why they stay with someone that is abusive and into drugs/alcohol, etcetera.

it is not fair to you OR her to try and have a relationship with someone that is clearly not whole.