i work with a woman, 65yrs old, very 'set in her ways', has parkinson's, so she shakes a bit, treats me as an "outsider" and as tho she's better than me, she's not a 'team' worker, however, everyone else there is.

she doesn't talk to me, unless she feels she's given no choice. i've asked her questions, like "where is" this or that, she doesn't reply, i have to ask management.

Now, i wait tables, management is either busy with something, or not around, so i have to ask someone else, who may or may not know where something is..

this is not only an inconvienence for me, but also my customers.

today, our check machine, 'ate' a customer's check, i couldn't find anyway to open the top off of the machine to remove the check, i asked her if she'd ever had it happen, she laughed and said no (she was standing by a customer, and i did ask loud enough for her whole section to hear, so i'd get a reply). i asked her how to remove this check... i got no reply, not even a bit of concern from her.

the gentleman was very understanding, and asked me to tear the check once i had gotten it out of the machine....and after 10 minutes i did get it out of the machine..

my problem, my question, how can i go about resolving this 'issue' she apparently has with me, but still be respectful towards her?

she IS older, and i do respect those older than myself, that's how mom taught me...but it's incredibly infuriating how she treats me, infront of customers or not, and it needs to come to an end...

my suggestion: accept that she has issues. Don't we all?
Then either ignore her or make an effort to get to know her. The choice is yours

Unfortunately, just about every work environment has someone like that. Not much you can do, except work around it whenever possible and kill her with kindness. It's possible she's a bit insecure about her age and abilities and maybe, envious of you. Smile, smile, smile and punch pillows when you get home.

Sue

Well , I don't care if people are older or not, I will treat people with respect until they show me they don't desrve my respect, which this woman has done. You have been respectful and nice and she just treats you like crap, so I say screw her, she doesn't deserve your respect anymore.

EllGee..just confront her in a very polite manner and ask her why she is so cold toward you and maybe after a small converstation things will warm up....it seems it can't do much further damage

I would confront her during non-working hours and ask her what her issues are and see if they can't be worked out...If they can't be...Get management involved...She is not just effecting you and your job BUT customers as well and that could mean a loss of money for the managers...SO it should be of concern to them!!!!!!!! The longer you let it build...the worse it will get until you blow and then they will look at you as if it's your fault!!!!!!!!

Good Luck!!!!!!

I hate to say this but, even if she is older, she is acting like a 5 year old. I personally would have it out with her and let her know that you are not gonna take her crap. And since she enjoys making your life difficult, make hers worse. Age shouldnt matter, if she wants to act like a child, treat her as such.

Older people, God bless them, I think they are why somebody came up with "you can`t teach an old dog new tricks" When I deal with onery elders, I remind myself not to be like that Good Luck

if you confront her, i'd do it one-on-one, that is not in public.

thanks to everyone that's replied so far..

it's impossible to 'confront' this woman, she doesn't allow me to talk to her, she walks away, or talks while im talking..

i think i should mention, it's not only me she treats this way, she treats her customers this way also..

i've had customers ask to sit in MY side, cuz they don't want to deal with "Sarge" and her rudeness towards them...

now, this is great for my pocketbook, but it's hell on my feet, and my nerves lol

the respect for pour elders only goes so far. have you ever asked her if she has a problem with you? i suppose we could use the biblical method of handling conflict... 1st step is to confront her directly, one on one. i assume you have already done this. step 2- confront her with a witness or two, and discuss it using them as referees. step 3 is to drop the hammer to management.

you might mention it to the boss, as if you hadn't already. Management probably thinks: uhm, hard to find good help.
So, until they can find a replacement....

If all else fails, stuff a sock in her mouth and push her in the broom closet

If customers don't want to deal with her, then maybe the answer is to have some of the customers start complaining about her. If she is this disrespectful towards you and the customer, maybe management is just waiting for someone to complain and the let her go. If you approach her and she just walks away and won't talk maybe you need to set up s meeting between you her and your boss. Have the boss call the meeting don't let her know that you will be in the meeting, and if you go to the meeting she sees you and walks out, she is walking out on your boss as well and that won't look good. Just a few suggestions.