Two boys were walking home from
Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching
On the devil.
One said to the other, 'What do you think about
all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your
Dad.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother,
'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color
of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear
Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped
on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running
Again!
As she ran she once again began to pray,
'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please
don't shove me either!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about
their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to
collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male
Pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police recruit was asked during the exam,
'What would you do if you had to arrest your own
mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem..
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy
father and thy mother,' she asked,
'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not kill..'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is
The matter?'
Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm
Going to have a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Take heed and pass these along to people who
need a laugh.
I thought you would enjoy this.....times are tough
right now...for all of us...so we need something to make the
Day a happy place.
"They" haven't found a way to tax you for
laughing yet.

What did Eve say when Adam complained about her cooking?

"Well, at least you can't compare it to your mother's."






-------------------------------




A woman, after church, asked the minister, "How come we say amen and not a-women?" The minister replied, "Because we sing hymns, and not hers."

The preacher was making the rounds of the classes during the summer Bible School. He finally got to the Kindergarten class and talked to the children about being good, obeying your parents and teachers and other adults responsible for them. That way, when they die, they will go to heaven. You know, five year old stuff.

At the end of his short talk, he asked the class, "How many of you boys want to go to heaven?" Immediately 17 of 18 children raised their hands.

Little Daniel is the son of one of the largest tithers in the church and he was in deep contemplation, rubbing his chin like his father was often seen doing.

The preacher asked Daniel, "Don't you want to go to Heaven?"

Daniel looked at the preacher wide-eyed and said, "Yea, I do, eventually, but I was afraid you were getting up a load now!

One Sunday morning Satan was roaming around the countryside searching for a church in which the pastor was late.
Finally after roaming around for a long while, he found one.
He entered the church, and stood behind the pulpit.
Once everyone realized who it was that was standing behind the pulpit, they couldn't get out of the church fast enough.
Some even jumping out the windows.
Except this one man who stayed seated in the front row.
Satan looked down and saw this man who was sitting there with his arms crossed over his chest with a smirk on his face.
Satan asked the man why he wasn't also scared and run off like all the rest.
The man calmly replied. " Whats to be scared about? I've been married to your sister for the past 10 years"