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| Topic: Dissolve For Me, Baby | |
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You know she will be "reviewing" your profile for a while...lol It takes days to read. That was an offer from an obviously non English speaking hottie Lex, who used one of those translator thingies to try to make English.  Maybe so, but it doesn't diminish the meaning one little bit...  
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Maybe that means she melts in your mouth and not in your hands. Or maybe she has a pretzel for a backbone. M & M's are making great strides in the science community.  Especially since they're practically on the verge of isolating the Higgs M&M. |
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You should never tell anyone you are interested in a partridge in a pear tree Lex...They will get the wrong impression of you every time!!!  I like birds and pears, though. Not together, but still.... Save a little for later hon... For AFTER you make love to her..... 
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You should never tell anyone you are interested in a partridge in a pear tree Lex...They will get the wrong impression of you every time!!! I like birds and pears, though. Not together, but still.... Save a little for later hon... For AFTER you make love to her..... Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! |
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You should never tell anyone you are interested in a partridge in a pear tree Lex...They will get the wrong impression of you every time!!! I like birds and pears, though. Not together, but still.... Save a little for later hon... For AFTER you make love to her..... Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! Never ever, EVER let them try to change you......but then you already know that don't you... 
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You should never tell anyone you are interested in a partridge in a pear tree Lex...They will get the wrong impression of you every time!!! I like birds and pears, though. Not together, but still.... Save a little for later hon... For AFTER you make love to her..... Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! Well, that depends on what type of "change" we talking Lex!  Maybe she would like to change you into something more comfortable! 
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A woman with no moral restraints, that instead of dissolving, turned into a pizza and a six pack! Now that's perfect!
I am not making this up. This is an actual e-mail I got (Yahoo account): ========== Exploree and geot to know dissolute women I hate seatt in the baurs seeking to meet ag gael I fiind my pretty nexxt door girls here ========== Wow, what an offer! I wasn't really sure how "dissolute" worked in this context, so I looked it up. dis·so·lute [dis-uh-loot] adjective indifferent to moral restraints; given to immoral or improper conduct; licentious; dissipated. Origin: 1350–1400; Middle English (< Anglo-French ) < Latin dissolūtus (past participle of dissolvere to dissolve). See dis- , solute So, this is perfect. What could be better than a woman with no moral restraints who then dissolves? I'm just sorry I didn't know about this years ago. |
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You should never tell anyone you are interested in a partridge in a pear tree Lex...They will get the wrong impression of you every time!!! I like birds and pears, though. Not together, but still.... Save a little for later hon... For AFTER you make love to her..... Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! Well, that depends on what type of "change" we talking Lex! Maybe she would like to change you into something more comfortable! Problem is, they always want to change me into something THEY want. My philosophy is, if I'm not already what you want, go look for someone who is. But they don't seem to be able to grasp that concept! It's a little bit like me trying to start up a relationship with Rosie O'Donnell (I know, but just ignore the logistics for a minute) and then trying to turn her into Billie Piper once I've got her "hooked." There is no feasible way to do that outside of divine intervention and a massive crew of cosmetic surgeons with magic wands. |
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You should never tell anyone you are interested in a partridge in a pear tree Lex...They will get the wrong impression of you every time!!! I like birds and pears, though. Not together, but still.... Save a little for later hon... For AFTER you make love to her..... Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! Well, that depends on what type of "change" we talking Lex! Maybe she would like to change you into something more comfortable! Problem is, they always want to change me into something THEY want. My philosophy is, if I'm not already what you want, go look for someone who is. But they don't seem to be able to grasp that concept! It's a little bit like me trying to start up a relationship with Rosie O'Donnell (I know, but just ignore the logistics for a minute) and then trying to turn her into Billie Piper once I've got her "hooked." There is no feasible way to do that outside of divine intervention and a massive crew of cosmetic surgeons with magic wands. Magic "suction" wands... 
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For some reason, when I saw the topic I thought of alka seltzer
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Bilie Piper---Partridge in a pear tree---Piper Laurie---Laurie from the Partrige Family.
  
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Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! Why do I get the impression that these are all statements from women who want to change you: "Close the door, sweetie... there is a draft." ("she is trying to change me from a sitting and stationary position to a walking and upright position.") "Darling, if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me." (" she's making me change my seats... for her???!!!... Yes, no doubt.") "Sweetie, try the chocolate-covered chien-merde bon-bons" ("She is trying to change me into a fat man.") "Sweetie, stop saying "don't try to change me" coz it's driving me up the wall." ("She is trying to change me opinions.") "Sweetie, spread your legs, and keep your knees to your chest so I can wash your bumtsie-wincie, and put on a fresh diaper... Ok. You know that a disgusting thing is going to happen, so just spread your legs and think of England." |
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Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! Why do I get the impression that these are all statements from women who want to change you: "Close the door, sweetie... there is a draft." ("she is trying to change me from a sitting and stationary position to a walking and upright position.") "Darling, if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me." (" she's making me change my seats... for her???!!!... Yes, no doubt.") "Sweetie, try the chocolate-covered chien-merde bon-bons" ("She is trying to change me into a fat man.") "Sweetie, stop saying "don't try to change me" coz it's driving me up the wall." ("She is trying to change me opinions.") "Sweetie, spread your legs, and keep your knees to your chest so I can wash your bumtsie-wincie, and put on a fresh diaper... Ok. You know that a disgusting thing is going to happen, so just spread your legs and think of England." |
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Bilie Piper---Partridge in a pear tree---Piper Laurie---Laurie from the Partrige Family. Well, she was cute too. Of course, by now she's 85 years old, so that presents other issues. |
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Oh, you're WAY ahead of me on that one -- I have to find someone who can be around me for 5 minutes without trying to change me, first....! Why do I get the impression that these are all statements from women who want to change you: "Close the door, sweetie... there is a draft." ("she is trying to change me from a sitting and stationary position to a walking and upright position.") "Darling, if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me." (" she's making me change my seats... for her???!!!... Yes, no doubt.") "Sweetie, try the chocolate-covered chien-merde bon-bons" ("She is trying to change me into a fat man.") "Sweetie, stop saying "don't try to change me" coz it's driving me up the wall." ("She is trying to change me opinions.") "Sweetie, spread your legs, and keep your knees to your chest so I can wash your bumtsie-wincie, and put on a fresh diaper... Ok. You know that a disgusting thing is going to happen, so just spread your legs and think of England." Well, no. Actually, the "change" statements all run like this: "I need a BAY-BEE!" (after writing and signing sworn affidavits that she does not want kids and will never want kids.) "You would make such a good father!" (In the same way Hitler would have made a good psychotherapist.) "Don't you want a little version of yourself running around here?" (No, I have enough problems with the regular version.) "Who's going to take care of you when you're old and feeble?" (Not some kid who despises me and wants nothing to do with me because I was such an inadequate parent, that's who.) "Having a baby is the most natural thing in the world." (So is eating and sleeping and breathing and going to the bathroom. But those are peripherals, I don't want to build my entire reason for living around them.) "I can't be a complete woman unless I have a baby." (Well, go have one. I can't help you there. And I'm not a real big fan of the adjunct mentality, either.) ....and so on and son on and so on.... |
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That's quite an offer. It's definitely better than the ones who want to tell me my 172 different credit scores for no reason....! I don't know about that one. They're both pretty bad, IMO.
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That's quite an offer. It's definitely better than the ones who want to tell me my 172 different credit scores for no reason....! I don't know about that one. They're both pretty bad, IMO. But at least the credit score people aren't trying to con me into dissolution, whatever that is. |
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