so im asking this to get an opinion do you think im right or wrong me an my father been fueding back an forth this year bad an many years before this to as im 42 yrs old an no longer wish to deal with the drama from it i have finally just stopped saying anything or visiting so tonight my mother emails me a message that says peace there is never peace in my parents home an il be amazed if there ever will be i think they will eventually kill each other off. an both refuse to admitt that this is a problem an they should treat family with respect an not threaten them or control them .so i sent one back telling her that there is never peace in there house or when im visiting them is this wrong or in my thought it needed to be said.

you are a grown man

do what makes u happy

at this point it sounds like u deserve it

thanks just needed to hear it from someone else sometimes .

understand

your folks know how to push your buttons

so it can be hard to think outside of that

but go where u find the communication patterns healthy & positive

be happy - live & love

working on that lots of trust issues lol.thanks for the advice though.

it wasn't meant as advice really

just good wishes

Sometimes telling thiose closest to you what is really on your mind is hard but usually better than lying and forcing yourself to live a lie. Some people just will not admit they are wrong or even seek middle ground. Even parents. That is life unfortunately!

My parents and I don't have peace so I don't see them. It is so bad my father passed 5 years ago and it meant nothing to me. It will unfortunately mean nothing to me when my mother passes too. You ever heard the term genetic parent? That is all they are to me. Yes, I know it is bad, but that is life when all you can do is argue and put down. Hope yours don't get that bad, but I believe you did the right thing.

thanks for the input guys just at a crossroad in life a month ago i had a bad bike wreck hit by full size dodge clubcab in the rear didnt hurt me to bad i rode it out to the end sliding was not ejected from the bike .a couple days later attended a funeral an the parents wanted me to sit next to them .an of course you guessed it mad because i didnt .then 2 days later are asking me to help them move heavy items that i couldnt do because the back was hurting like hell i tryed to explain this he didnt care an she never remembers because of all the meds she overdose on a daily bases. il get through this but not by bowing my standards to theres i treated them with respect for yrs an helped fix what ever they needed fixed .the only thing he can find to vitch about is my erb i use for pain i have supported myself since i was 18 an live in my own house for 9 yrs an job the same one for 11 now .guess il shut up here just helps to talk sometimes again thanks for the replys an good wishes.

Wow...that blows dude. I hear about things like this all the time amongst friends. I can't even imajine it. I am fortunate that in my family, we haven't had a harsh word or arguement in well over 20 years.

You are a grownassed adult. In my opinion, ya gotta flat out DEMAND common courtesy and respect. Don't ask, don't beg, DEMAND it! You may be suprized how well it works. If courtesy and respect is asking too much, I would turn my back and walk the hell away. There are millions of people out there who will treat you like dirt. People who are supposed to love you ain't the ones who should be allowed to treat you like crap.

good post

my family is also a buncha shuga hunnies that are far from perfect (WHAT?) somehow we just understand....we are actually nuts but try to keep it a secret

it is hard when family members are so inflexible and prideful to the extent that the OP describes - with family like that I just can't imagine. I haven't seen my dad in ages but we have always been friends - aunts, uncles, cousins & sis - we have always been able to settle differences and anyone of us would always have a home with the other - we're "old school" family - no such thing as cutting off communication or throwing adult kids into the street - that stuff is insane