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| Topic: Relationship matters | |
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Say nothing .. When I turned 36 my ex told me that I wasn't as pretty as when I was younger, I lost all confidence in myself for ages. Ireally didn't get it back until the last 12 months when i found someone who loves me just how i am. We all know when we put weight on or get older, we don't need to be told. Well, some people need to be told, 'cause sometimes they're just to lazy to burn off those fat, and also they tend to eat whatever comes up on the menu. |
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If you've noticed your mate has put on some extra unattractive weight, what's a nice way to inform him/her you've noticed the change, and would like him/her to work on it? There is no easy way, Soufie's right about that....But, if the weight gain is having a negative effect on the relationship then it needs to be discussed...With empathy, support, reassurance, love....Open communication about everything good and bad, IMO, is necessary to a healthy relationship...If the love and the trust is intact, the conversation can be had in a positive way...Work it out!!!! I think talking it out in the manner you suggested here above is healthy for the partner involved, rather than keep it to yourself or draw back from them. |
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If you've noticed your mate has put on some extra unattractive weight, what's a nice way to inform him/her you've noticed the change, and would like him/her to work on it? There is no easy way, Soufie's right about that....But, if the weight gain is having a negative effect on the relationship then it needs to be discussed...With empathy, support, reassurance, love....Open communication about everything good and bad, IMO, is necessary to a healthy relationship...If the love and the trust is intact, the conversation can be had in a positive way...Work it out!!!! I think talking it out in the manner you suggested here above is healthy for the partner involved, rather than keep it to yourself or draw back from them. Yep, nothing worse than when your partner, the person who rocks your world, withdraws from you....It's a heartbreaker.... |
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Say nothing .. When I turned 36 my ex told me that I wasn't as pretty as when I was younger, I lost all confidence in myself for ages. Ireally didn't get it back until the last 12 months when i found someone who loves me just how i am. We all know when we put weight on or get older, we don't need to be told. Well, some people need to be told, 'cause sometimes they're just to lazy to burn off those fat, and also they tend to eat whatever comes up on the menu. And you think telling them they're fat, even though they already know, is the best way to get them to stop being lazy and do what you say to do? |
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Say nothing .. When I turned 36 my ex told me that I wasn't as pretty as when I was younger, I lost all confidence in myself for ages. Ireally didn't get it back until the last 12 months when i found someone who loves me just how i am. We all know when we put weight on or get older, we don't need to be told. Well, some people need to be told, 'cause sometimes they're just to lazy to burn off those fat, and also they tend to eat whatever comes up on the menu. And you think telling them they're fat, even though they already know, is the best way to get them to stop being lazy and do what you say to do? It doesn't have to be in rude way. You can talk to someone in love and if they see the benefits,they might eventually yield. You don't have to be cruel or quarrel with them over it. Being obessed could be deadly |
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Yep, nothing worse than when your partner, the person who rocks your world, withdraws from you....It's a heartbreaker.... that's very true. and i don't think doing this is selfish. as long as they don't get hurt |
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Say nothing .. When I turned 36 my ex told me that I wasn't as pretty as when I was younger, I lost all confidence in myself for ages. Ireally didn't get it back until the last 12 months when i found someone who loves me just how i am. We all know when we put weight on or get older, we don't need to be told. Well, some people need to be told, 'cause sometimes they're just to lazy to burn off those fat, and also they tend to eat whatever comes up on the menu. And you think telling them they're fat, even though they already know, is the best way to get them to stop being lazy and do what you say to do? It doesn't have to be in rude way. You can talk to someone in love and if they see the benefits,they might eventually yield. You don't have to be cruel or quarrel with them over it. Being obessed could be deadly My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. |
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Say nothing .. When I turned 36 my ex told me that I wasn't as pretty as when I was younger, I lost all confidence in myself for ages. Ireally didn't get it back until the last 12 months when i found someone who loves me just how i am. We all know when we put weight on or get older, we don't need to be told. Well, some people need to be told, 'cause sometimes they're just to lazy to burn off those fat, and also they tend to eat whatever comes up on the menu. And you think telling them they're fat, even though they already know, is the best way to get them to stop being lazy and do what you say to do? After my accident; I gained weight as I couldn't walk. My ex called me fat and although it was true; I thought he could have said it more in a tactful way. |
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My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. yes i agree, that's why i said let them know the benefit of shedding the excess fat. After my accident; I gained weight as I couldn't walk. My ex called me fat and although it was true; I thought he could have said it more in a tactful way. i guess if he had acted in love, you wouldn't feel bad about it. |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Tue 11/15/11 04:57 AM
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My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. yes i agree, that's why i said let them know the benefit of shedding the excess fat. So, you're assuming they don't already know? |
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After my accident; I gained weight as I couldn't walk. My ex called me fat and although it was true; I thought he could have said it more in a tactful way. it was being laid up in a full leg cast for six months that got me into eating right and lifting weights. the result was three inches lost around my waist. i'd been dragging the ex out on hikes and kyaking but with me imobile she put on thirty pounds. |
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My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. yes i agree, that's why i said let them know the benefit of shedding the excess fat. So, you're assuming they don't already know? Yes i assume they don't know, or they need a little push from someone like their spouse. |
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Well, then push away. See if it works and let us know how it goes.
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Well, then push away. See if it works and let us know how it goes. Uhmmmn push away....ooops |
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My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. yes i agree, that's why i said let them know the benefit of shedding the excess fat. After my accident; I gained weight as I couldn't walk. My ex called me fat and although it was true; I thought he could have said it more in a tactful way. i guess if he had acted in love, you wouldn't feel bad about it. I don't think it would have mattered whether it was love or not; it was the words that stung. |
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After my accident; I gained weight as I couldn't walk. My ex called me fat and although it was true; I thought he could have said it more in a tactful way. it was being laid up in a full leg cast for six months that got me into eating right and lifting weights. the result was three inches lost around my waist. i'd been dragging the ex out on hikes and kyaking but with me imobile she put on thirty pounds. I did the same thing as you eating right and lifting weights. I lost 5 inches around the waist and 40 pounds. |
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My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. yes i agree, that's why i said let them know the benefit of shedding the excess fat. After my accident; I gained weight as I couldn't walk. My ex called me fat and although it was true; I thought he could have said it more in a tactful way. i guess if he had acted in love, you wouldn't feel bad about it. I don't think it would have mattered whether it was love or not; it was the words that stung. "Soft words break bones", and therefore i never suggested hurting anyone with your words. |
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My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. yes i agree, that's why i said let them know the benefit of shedding the excess fat. After my accident; I gained weight as I couldn't walk. My ex called me fat and although it was true; I thought he could have said it more in a tactful way. i guess if he had acted in love, you wouldn't feel bad about it. I don't think it would have mattered whether it was love or not; it was the words that stung. "Soft words break bones", and therefore i never suggested hurting anyone with your words. I was just responsing to your comment about what if he acted in love. I just thought he could have been more tactful about is especially when he knew I was self concious of my weight. The last man that told me that caused me to have an eating disorder and he knew that. |
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My point, just like someone else's earlier in the thread is if you've noticed, so have they. Try to do things with them, rather than telling them what they should do. yes i agree, that's why i said let them know the benefit of shedding the excess fat. So, you're assuming they don't already know? Yes i assume they don't know, or they need a little push from someone like their spouse. what you will do is push them away they will lose the weight if they want to and when they want to - any comments will most likely be taken negatively - nothing to be gained by nagging someone about a weight gain I would prefer someone who likes me as I am - whatever my weight is |
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