So.....the girl whom I have spoken of before here and will be meeting soon if all goes according to plan.....still is having a difficult time with everything, and it's killing me. She's unsure if the time is right, that maybe we're too young and don't know what love is yet (which I disagree, more on that in a bit), and doesn't want to rush into this. She also wants to explore other possibilities as well, she mentioned to me a guy she's known since she was 12 who she kinda wanted to see what she had with, talking with him on and off over the years.

I really don't know what to think quite frankly at this point. I mean I wanna be patient, give her time and space, and I swear I am trying. But........when you're as in love with someone like I am that is very very hard. I'm crazy about her, head over heels in love. I've never loved anyone else like I love her, and I honestly can't see myself loving someone else this way. It just feels right, like a true love.

If she were to decide to go be with this other guy, I'd accept it, and probably still stay friends with her. But......inside my heart would break in two. That's how much I love her and want to be hers and her to be mine.

Now.....meeting in person might change this all a bit, but right now I'm kind of damned if I do and damned if I don't it seems. If I can't step back, I risk alienating her, but if I step back completely I could lose her and any chance of a serious relationship. I feel bad that I'm putting some of this on her, as she knows full well how strongly I feel, but.....my heart won't let me let go.

Um... you *really* need to sit down and take a deep breath.

You probably posted this looking for sympathy, and maybe you'll get some, but...

If I'm reading this correctly...

You HAVEN'T EVEN MET HER YET

You are *head over heels in love* with... a *mental image* of what YOU THINK this girl is like.

There is an old saying that applies to you and your situation perfectly...

If you Love Something, set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours
If it doesn't...
it never was

If you push her and you win... she'll always be thinking of *what would it have been like, if only*

If you push her and lose... YOU will be thinking of *what would it have been like, if only*

Both ways... YOU lose



Take it easy my friend... and I truly hope everything works out for you. cheers

I hope you take this well... if not... what do *I* know, I'm just a silly old f@rt

I know I've heard of it, recently in fact. It's just really hard.

I know I haven't met her, but I've grown very close and connected to her in the last year. I truly believe this is real, in my heart I feel it.

Kleisto,
This girl seems confused. Like your the one she can keep as back up. I understand you've been talking for a while and you feel very strongly. But if she is suddenly talking like this as your visit grow closer, mayb eyou shoudl be careful. She;s telling you about another guy she's know for a long time and she wants to see what happens there. Sorry but in my opinions thats wrong. If she cares for you then she gives you her all. If and when you go visit her please be careful to not get hurt.
Good Luck my friend

oh man!!!! i hope that soon you will wake up, turn your head to check the time on the clock and see it's time for school and it was all a bad and frustrating dream. have you ever watched judge judy???!!!! or even old man dr. phil???!!! you don't "love" the girl, you might be in "like" with her. just imagine: someone gives you a steak on a plate and it looks so good! it's a PICTURE of a steak! however, even though you know it a paper steak you're picking up your knife and fork to eat it. think about it. (psssst...while she's got you to fall back on - she's having fun and will find you when she gets dumped by all the others. wake up!!!!!!!!

I really don't believe this to be the case.......

You may want to wait to proclaim your love for her until you actually meet. Unfortunately, many times on this site, we've seen people meet and not feel the same way. You may think you love her, but you'll never really know until you actually meet. Good luck.

Hi Kleisto, i think you know the answer and what you need to..

October 19th, so about 2 months from now. The funny thing about the guy too is......she hasn't met him either believe it or not. There was a time she was considering a future with him though, but as I said they communicate off and on more than anything. It only came up cause he had told her he missed her just recently, and got her thinking.

love is a many splendored thing, but love also stinks. it's nice to hear you have met someone that you can relate to on different levels. thing is there are many more levels for you both once you met in person. you are young and it would be good for you to experience different worlds outside the one you live. even if she is being wishy washy, you be firm. plan on meeting with her and give it your best shot. also plan on meeting her and having you azz handed to you on a silver platter (you might be disappointed) so if you are going to visit her for a few days, plan it as you would a vacation alone. what to do in the area just in case things don't go well. if she is the girl of your dreams, your life will change. if she is not, your life will change. in either case i guarantee i guarantee the change will do you good (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

btw, good luck

You are not in love with her. You are infatuated with her. There is a big difference. You can't really be in love with someone that you don't really know but infatuation is easy. It also can seem like love.

I disagree, this is not infatuation anymore. At one point it was, but I know in my heart that I love her, more than I've known anything in my life. I'd bet all I had that I am. It's a whole different feeling from anything I've ever felt for another person. I've been infatuated many times over. I've been in lust many times over. This.....this is nothing like those past experiences. This is far deeper.

It's to where I see her flaws and yet.......they don't bother me as much as they might have before. I can't stay mad at her even when I may want to. I see beyond those things and accept her right where she is.

So, though you have every right to your opinion on this, what my heart feels and what it has been saying for the last couple months now, tells me that I really do love her. There is no doubt of it in my mind at all.

Great post Ese so many points you nailed on the head.

Kliesto,

Read what Ese posted and just think about it. Do not allow the connection you have made to be more than what it is. Sometimes things are not what we thought they were, sometimes they are or can be more. But in any case if she loved you or was/is in love with you, there would be no second person in the equation.

Go visit her with no expectations and let the moment define who ya'll are meant to be, don't try to define it with out knowing in your heart and her in your arms what your relationship is.


Best wishes in your search,
Robert