So I've made a few "we'll call them friends for now" on here, but after the first few emails and even one I met in person, I don't really hear back from them unless I make the effort to get thier attention. I've met some women who said they were interested in me, but unless I contact them first, I don't hear anything. I've given them time and space and it has been a few weeks and it seems like I get forgotten. I feel like I'm doing all the work. I have no problem attracting attention, but how do I keep that attention without seeming weird or clingy? What do you guys think is going on? What do I say to the people who I've left alone for a few weeks and they haven't tried to contact me anymore?

My impression is that there are a lot of people here who aren't really interested in a "relationship," per se, but who are willing to go through the motions for awhile -- whether out of boredom, curiosity, whatever.

Your mileage may (or may not) vary.

i would say real interest generally looks forward to the sending and receiving of email, phone calls, whatever. it kind of just goes back and forth without any ...hesitation... is he gonna respond? is she waiting to see if i contact her? all that mumbo jumbo is just well, immature and unnecessary really. if it feels like it has fizzled, it probably has, but that doesn't mean you can't just straight up ask if they are still interested in talking. if yes, then good! if no, then you probably knew that already.

Do they have deep feelings for you?

If not, then you just haven't made that much of an impression. There has to be a special spark to start with or you're going no-where fast.

If someone is truely interested in you, then they will make the effort. You shouldn't be doing all the work, all the time.

Know your limits, don't put up with more then you feel comfortable with.

There is always the case that your feelings are stronger then theres. Don't let your feelings see the wrong picture. Your love interest may not share the same picture.

Always be mindful and careful. Don't push yourself onto anyone too quickly. And always be yourself :)

I think what is going on is that u may be waiting to long to call after the first date - in the beginning a lot of times women will expect to be contacted first so it doesn't seem like they are "chasing" a man - with the stigma attached to that (not saying it's right or wrong just that it could be a factor)

and why would u feel weird or clingy? It's normal to talk to freinds on a regular basis

and then, some of them just may not be interested in taking things further - why don't you message them and ask them? keep it light - like ask what they have been up to

also - what bastet said

she nailed it again

Just ignore the ones you have talked to, enjoy talking to new people, and I will guarantee you that one of the girls you talked to previously will come back around. And, she will probably say something like, "I liked you. Why didn't you do this? Or that? Blah, Blah, Blah". And you should respond, "Well, sorry. I didn't get that impression from you, so I moved along".

Men do this to women to. I think because this is te net that people just like to initiate things and then keep moving along. Call it not being serious. Call it them not knowing what the hell they want. It is simply something that we all have had to deal with.

I'm not really interested in manipulation by playing the waiting game to make someone miss me anymore. But this does keep on happening so I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. How can I get someone to think of me without it being a game?

m-e-s-s-a-g-e h-e-r

m-e-s-s-a-g-e h-e-r

or you could have said what you said...twice :)~ you stuck in double posts land sweetest??

There has to be a special spark at the beginning. That's the thing that lasts a lifetime. This deep feeling/emotion, is called love.

Since nobody can choose to fall in love. You are in fates hands. Good luck! :D

Is it anyone who reads these message boards? It may be they read something by you that they were uncomfortable with or didn't like.

((HUGS Scorpio))

'tis difficult! Dating is essentially one big game & not a fun one IMO! I avoid it & just carry on being my happy little self. One day my world will collide with someone I feel I can't resist taking a chance with...LOL! You have to wade through the sea of flakes & drama queens to find someone worth your time...be patient! When the interest is real she won't quit thinking of you

In the meantime, let go quickly and just enjoy getting to know people.

^^This. :)

What a lovely thing to say! ^_^

All very true, me and you think alike. You seem so far on top of things fireflysgirl. I'd date a confident Lady like you anyday. It's good to know there are people like you in the world

Right now I'm just being careful. I get attached very easily. If someone tells me that they are interested, I'm going to want to take it further and start developing a fondness for her.

I have come across several women who give false information just to be nice. Who say something along the lines of "I like you, you're a great guy" just so they won't hurt my feelings or something, idk. I have fallen for too many situations like this only to find out that she really DIDN'T think that of me and that my fondness and desire to take it further has become nothing but an agrivation to her.

So by waiting, I'm finding that she must not really be that interested, as she hasn't bothered to try and keep the contact through her own initiative. It's not because of immature nervousness. I really just don't want to waste any more of my time and attention on someone if it's not going to go anywhere.

Not so sure on the accuracy of my "test" though because I keep getting the same results from those who say "I'm interested"...



Well that's kind of hard. I don't like people who do this and surely don't want to practice the same in my own life. I'm really getting sick of introducing myself over and over again.

Blame it on living in a small isolated town for the first 19 years of my life. A place where everything always stayed the same, people didn't move in and out, you kept your friends forever and were loyal to them and didn't take yourself away from them by going and making more new friends. In the rare event that someone new did move into town (maybe happened a few times a year), they were met with much scrutiny and territorial hostility.

I used to think that was how it was everywhere. Now that I've moved away, I've found the exact opposite lol!! But still can't help feeling that a person who lets go quickly and continuously makes the effort to meet new people is someone to be looked down upon.

I would like to change my attitude but it doesn't seem to be budging

Thank you all for responding and yes, my instincts are probably right.

Just what I always tell my teenage son, if you find someone interesting enough for you, do your best to keep her interest. If after giving her your best shot and she still does not seem to be really interested in you, move to the next prospect. Most importantly, if you want honest to goodness treatment from your interest/s, make them feel you are not so sensitive and that they do not have to make you believe in a feeling they do not really have for you. You're still so young to get tired of trying to build a relationship, be more patient and you can never go wrong.