hi my wife walked out on me a month ago after 18 years of marriage she left me the kids, house. How do you cope being on your own as i am finding it very hard

Sorry to hear that, mate. Obviously I don't know the situation, but will give you the benefit of the doubt. :)

I'd say you cope with it like grieving. First of all, try to push aside the emotions and make sure everything's in order with your house and your kids. Lean on your friends a little. Don't give in to hate or self-pity or loss just yet, there's a time and a place for that.

This is easy to say, I know. But you've got to give yourself a bit of a steel coating for a bit.

Set aside a bit of time to figure out what went wrong and why. Writing it down can help too - get it all out of your head and onto paper.

I've also found chatting to people online helps. Don't give away too much though, it's tempting to think everyone's being lovely and helpful and you'll do or say anything to keep them making you feel good about yourself. Just got to be smart.

And remember: your life isn't over. Remember, this too will pass. It gets better. You won't be alone forever. And you've got your kids and home, too.

Good luck.

If they choose to move on, then that's their problem to sort. It shouldn't have to be yours too? It was HER decision, so you shouldn't have to share the burden of it, but you are. I just move on too, if the lover chooses to, as at the end of the day, we have no choice. Or do you want to spend the rest of your life wallowing in misery? I can't make up your mind for you, but i'd certainly choose the latter.

One day at a time mate.

I've never been married and I have no children, so obviously I'm probably not the best person to give advice, but my best male friend had exactly this happen to him 12 years ago and he has confided in me a lot. The most important thing is not to blame yourself, it was probably nothing you said or did that made her make the decision to leave you. It was just something she felt she had to do to save her sanity. It must have been the most difficult decision of her life to leave her kids behind, so try not to be angry with her either. Easy for me to say I know. But your anger will only eat away at you and cause upset for your children. Unfortunately my best friend has found that although his two sons were teenagers when their mother left, it is still affecting their mental state even now in their late 20's , and one of them is having a bit of a mental breakdown, and it all seems to stem from the breakup of the family unit. So just be aware of that, it's gonna be a tough road for you. So lean on your friends and other family members as much as you can, and you will find that they will deliver the help and love and support you need. Have courage my friend. x