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| Topic: ways to impress a date | |
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Be fashionably late. I've always had luck showing up an hour late-preferably drunk. |
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Don't forget, no showers or changing your clothes for at least five days....
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When you pick her up, ask her if she'll mind changing outfits, washing off some of that make-up and putting on some different perfume.
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Find a bank statement someone tosses out with a huge sum of money listed on it and leave it somewhere in your car so she finds it!
Great way to find the gold diggers! |
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Ask him to wear a toupe, and this funny nose & glasses bit if he insists on the tie dye thing. |
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Ask him to wear a toupe, and this funny nose & glasses bit if he insists on the tie dye thing. I usually pin a condom to my lapel, like a flower. |
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Ask him to wear a toupe, and this funny nose & glasses bit if he insists on the tie dye thing. I usually pin a condom to my lapel, like a flower. OMG Snuffy !!(you don't mind me calling you that do you?) YOu are SOOO turning me on with that description.  Stop it now.  
Actually On dates I try to wear my best paint splattered old ratty t-shirt, the cheapest perfume that I can find. And a pair of old sweats that are two sizes two small to REALLY accentutate the muffin top.  
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Offer to pay for the meal if it goes well.
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Ask him to wear a toupe, and this funny nose & glasses bit if he insists on the tie dye thing. I usually pin a condom to my lapel, like a flower. OMG Snuffy !!(you don't mind me calling you that do you?) YOu are SOOO turning me on with that description. Stop it now.
Actually On dates I try to wear my best paint splattered old ratty t-shirt, the cheapest perfume that I can find. And a pair of old sweats that are two sizes two small to REALLY accentutate the muffin top.
I have a bottle of Brut aftershave I got for Christmas when I was 8 I save for dating only, that always impressess women. |
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Get in the car and insist on the most expensive restaurant around, drink until slobbering drunk, flirt excessively with every person of the opposite sex within 100 feet then look offended when they try and insinuate that you might fool around. while asking" What kind of a person do you think I am?"
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Aftershave???
Cologne???? Just spray on some Windex!!!!! |
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Aftershave??? Cologne???? Just spray on some Windex!!!!! Windex?? How about some toilet cleaner? Or pine sol then you'd smell all "clean" like a pine tree. Or you could just wear a few of those pine tree air fresheners like earrings, and a necklace. |
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Get in the car and insist on the most expensive restaurant around, drink until slobbering drunk, flirt excessively with every person of the opposite sex within 100 feet then look offended when they try and insinuate that you might fool around. while asking" What kind of a person do you think I am?" It would never happen, drunk women are easy. 
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Get in the car and insist on the most expensive restaurant around, drink until slobbering drunk, flirt excessively with every person of the opposite sex within 100 feet then look offended when they try and insinuate that you might fool around. while asking" What kind of a person do you think I am?" It would never happen, drunk women are easy.
Well I guess you could just wait until she passes out. But wouldn't slipping her a roofie be cheaper than buying drinks all night? OH HELL just smack her over the head to knock her out, and tell her you wanna play cave man. On second thought "that might actually work with some women." |
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Be a gentleman while at dinner.
Aim away from her when you fart. |
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Get in the car and insist on the most expensive restaurant around, drink until slobbering drunk, flirt excessively with every person of the opposite sex within 100 feet then look offended when they try and insinuate that you might fool around. while asking" What kind of a person do you think I am?" Had a guy do that to me once...and he forgot his wallet so I owund up paying for meal too.  
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Get in the car and insist on the most expensive restaurant around, drink until slobbering drunk, flirt excessively with every person of the opposite sex within 100 feet then look offended when they try and insinuate that you might fool around. while asking" What kind of a person do you think I am?" Had a guy do that to me once...and he forgot his wallet so I owund up paying for meal too.
WOW CLASSY!! |
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Get in the car and insist on the most expensive restaurant around, drink until slobbering drunk, flirt excessively with every person of the opposite sex within 100 feet then look offended when they try and insinuate that you might fool around. while asking" What kind of a person do you think I am?" Had a guy do that to me once...and he forgot his wallet so I owund up paying for meal too.
I know a great restaurant we can go to. 
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Sat 04/16/11 07:07 PM
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Be fashionably late. I've always had luck showing up an hour late-preferably drunk. I actually dated a guy who showed up at least an hour late, sometimes two hours late. One time he stood me up completely. Then he had the nerve to ask me out on another date. I accepted. He turned up late for that one two. I never said one word, ..ever... about his behavior and pretty soon it got the best of him. He had to ask me why I never complained. I told him it was because I didn't really care. (And I didn't.) I just had no feelings for him at all, and I had nothing better to do that night, so when he showed up I went out with him. But I would not have cared one way or another. He never called again.
I didn't care. 
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Edited by
FearandLoathing
on
Sat 04/16/11 06:51 PM
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Bring a doctor note stating all of your mental conditions, this way she won't freak out when I start talking to myself.
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