The hardest thing in the world is to denounce your faith, much like for a non-actor, it's hardest to look happy and upbeat when he is tired or feels he will burst into tears any second.

This is why I am amazed at communism: It has made my father, much like it has made most other people in my country, denounce his faith, which he carried in his heart until communism collapsed and then he went back to attend church every Sunday.

A system was so successful in instilling fear in people that everyone followed, and the generation that came next, was sold the communist ideal; at least the convenient points of it. (Which were: stealing work property is okay, coz it belongs to the state, which is nothing, nobody; abortion and atheism are the best to believe in; money is for those losers who can't get high on arts and literature; working hard is for the birds; it's okay if in a country everyone is poor, as long as everyone is equally poor; good to have got rid of nobility and titles; good to have got rid of tiered social rankings; good to have noone hungry; good that nobody talks about the Jews and how much you are one of them or how much you hate them; equality and freedom of thought and speech, which means you talk and think of those things only that are free and allowed by the state for you to think and talk about. Church dogma, esp. as it relates to sexual repression, is out the window, good... humour is good... escaping to the West is funny, coz it's very unpatriotic, and you can't discuss how the idea impacts you on an emotional/moral level in 'home room class' with your class mates and the teacher. Philosophy is okay, encouraged, thinking for yourself is okay, encouraged, beign smart is okay, encouraged, as long as all these never attack the state or the underlying system, which requires you to repeat obvious, screamingly obvious lies and atrocious untruths. This last part was what broke me away from communism and the country; the irrefutable lies that they forced me to accept. I hated that more because I felt it was an insult to our intelligence, than because I hated the ideals that made the forcing necessary. I said, I can still love communism, even if I don't accept that in the United States still half the people can't afford a pair of shoes. I said, I don't believe that, but then again, not believing it is not a reason why I can't become a good little communist. But no, they wouldn't hear of that. So I quit.)

I got a bit winded there, didn't I. So yes, I agree with those who say "give up your ideals, your truest, most basic, binding ideals, and it's like selling your soul". It is sometimes very hard to judge what is harder: giving up the ideals, or keeping the luxury of sticking with them. Was it easy for an Early Christian to be eaten by a lion in the Colosseum? No. But it would have been harder for him or her to renounce his or her Christianity.

Was it easier for my RC father to renounce JC in order to exchange it for a normal life with a family: A loving a devoted wife, kids, job, vacations, travel, suburbia? I think he is more of a hero than Early Christians, because he chose hellfire, in order to save and keep his family.