ur just saying that cuz he mowed down some chick's mailbox.....


(wow and did he EVER, I mean....it was TOTALLY wasted flat out DOWN)

See?? He seems so docile....then BAM!!! He freebases a couple of Viagra and you gotta lock up the chickens.

OMG here we go with the interspecies dating again!

and pigeons

men are like pigeons?

gather in clusters

and whistle from roof tops

yes, yes that's what I meant

glad to see you agree








you're sweet mano

Here's ya' some ammo Ms Jeaniebean

1. What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.


2. What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds Mature.


3. What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.


4. What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.


5. Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?


6. Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.


7. I went to the County Fair. They had one of those "Believe it or not?"
Shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.


8. What do you have whan you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.

9. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.


10. How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll
get, or how long it'll stay.

11. Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.


12. Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the **** out of you.


13. What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.


14. Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.


15. If men got pregnant....
abortion would be available in convienience
stores and drive-through windows.


16. Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who
makes all their decisions.


17. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.


18. Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.


19. How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.


20. What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.


21. Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?


22. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.


23. How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake
the stove.


24. What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.


25. How do men sort their laundry?
"Fifthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".


26. Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.


27. Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

men are like rock n roll

stay with the beat

and you roll with the rythm

Men are like..... Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like..... Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like…..Floor Tiles
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years!

sweetheart it should only take 10-15

I'm like redi-mix... just add water?

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks

tell that to them

I'm an ace.

or jackin'

trust me

I have

and will say no more about it

"A woman is like a pack of cards ...

... You need a heart to love her

... A diamond to marry her

... A club to smash her head in

... And a spade to bury the *****"