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| Topic: Irish Womans Letter to Her Son | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Sat 01/08/11 09:54 AM
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Dear son:
Im writing to you to let you know that I'm alive. I'm writing slowly because I know that you are not a fast reader. If you get this letter it's because it was delivered, if not, let me know so I can send it again. Your father read that most accidents happen 1 mile from home. So we moved to another house about 2 miles away. You won't recognize the place. It's a nice place, it has a washing machine, but Im not sure if it works I put a load in it, pulled the chain and I haven't seen the clothes since. The weather is ok. Last week it only rained twice. Once for 3 days, and once for 4 days About the jacket that you wanted, your uncle John said that if we send it with the buttons is going to be really heavy and the shipping is going to cost too much, so I removed them. They're in one of the pockets. We finally buried your grandpa, we found his body when we moved. He was inside the armoire So. I guess he beat us at hide and seek. The funeral home sent a note to say that if the last installment on his grave isn't paid, Up he comes. The other day there was an explosion in the kitchen because of the stove. Your father and me went flying through the roof. I was so excited. It's the first time we'd been out together in years. The doctor came to the house and he put a glass tube in my mouth. He asked me to keep it closed for 10 minutes. Your father tried to buy it. About your father, we are so proud, he has a new job, he has 500 people underneath him, He mows the grass at the local cemetery. Your sister Julia, the one that got married to her husband, gave birth, but I don't what she had, so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle. If she had a girl, she said that they're going to name her after me. Strange that they want to name her "Mom" Your father asked your sister Anna if she was pregnant. She said yes, 5 months. Your father asked her if she was sure that the baby was hers. She said yes. We are so proud of her, she's just like myself. Your cousin Paul got married and I heard that he prays to his wife everynight. She's a virgin. The only one that we haven't seen lately is your uncle George, the one that died last year. We are worried about your dog Spot. He keeps chasing parked cars. Do you remember your friend Richard? He's not with us anymore, his father passed away two months ago and he asked to be buried in the lake Richard drowned trying to dig his grave. You won't believe what happened. Your brother Michael left the keys inside the car. I had to go home and get the spare set so that we could get everyone else out of the car. Well, son, I won't write the new address because I don't know it. The woman that used to live here took the numbers with her so she wouldn't have to change. If you see Mrs. Doubtfire, tell her I said Hi. If you don't see her, don't tell her anything. With love, Your mother Paris PS I was going to send you 100 dollars for your birthday, but I already have the envelope sealed.   
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ha ha not bad
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