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Topic: Emotional Infidelity & Mental Adultery!
no photo
Sun 11/07/10 11:42 AM
role-playing, healthy fantasizing, sexual games, can all be part of a healthy, monogomous relationship. the KEYWORD being healthy..communication is a must and both parties must be in on and agree to what is happening...

if you need to fantasize about someone else when you are with your partner, then surley it doesnt take a PhD to realize you have some issues...

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 11:43 AM
Edited by pmarco41 on Sun 11/07/10 11:43 AM

whatever happened to the way it use to be



First Time Ever I Saw Your Face ...




wow, I got married to this song...ohwell

Jess642's photo
Sun 11/07/10 12:06 PM

role-playing, healthy fantasizing, sexual games, can all be part of a healthy, monogomous relationship. the KEYWORD being healthy..communication is a must and both parties must be in on and agree to what is happening...

if you need to fantasize about someone else when you are with your partner, then surley it doesnt take a PhD to realize you have some issues...



Really?


Fascinating....


I am maybe going to buck the norm here and call Bullsh*te.....every single human being I have spoken to...in every age bracket and gender.... has said they have at some point fantasised that their romantic partner has been someone else whilst having sex.



When the whole societal pressure to withdraw any form of imaginitive expression is the majority, humans become less.....expression is expression...

fantasy is fantasy....transference and projection in an unbalanced way causes disappointment, but pure fantasy is just that....painless, non-fattening, and playful.


I have had sex in my head with I don't know how many people whilst with someone....and they always knew...I didn't want my lover to be 'Sean Connery'....to behave as him, speak as him or do as him...it was my fantasy....and not his.


no wonder the world is mad!

slaphead

EquusDancer's photo
Sun 11/07/10 03:08 PM

role-playing, healthy fantasizing, sexual games, can all be part of a healthy, monogomous relationship. the KEYWORD being healthy..communication is a must and both parties must be in on and agree to what is happening...

if you need to fantasize about someone else when you are with your partner, then surley it doesnt take a PhD to realize you have some issues...


I agree with the first part, and disagree with the second. There have been way to many studies showing men and women in healthy relationships fantasize, as you stated in the first part. There have also been plenty of studies showing that men and women fantasize without telling each other, and it's not uncommon.

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 05:42 PM


role-playing, healthy fantasizing, sexual games, can all be part of a healthy, monogomous relationship. the KEYWORD being healthy..communication is a must and both parties must be in on and agree to what is happening...

if you need to fantasize about someone else when you are with your partner, then surley it doesnt take a PhD to realize you have some issues...


I agree with the first part, and disagree with the second. There have been way to many studies showing men and women in healthy relationships fantasize, as you stated in the first part. There have also been plenty of studies showing that men and women fantasize without telling each other, and it's not uncommon.

My sediments exactly.I have read several articles to support the complete opposite of the second comment.In fact it is documented as healthy & completely normal.I've read this also in one of my textbooks from my psychology course.Godspeed!Cy :smile:

MyLastGroom's photo
Sun 11/07/10 08:32 PM



If two people are truly in love (using 'love' in it's purest sense of the word) then there is no reason for these fantasies of others.


A friend told me the other day, "Everything man(kind) does is either an expression of love or a cry for love." It's as simple as that. If love is being used in its purest form, then emotional infidelity and mental adultery don't exist, right?

Of course, if these couples were truly in 'love', there would be no need or desire to fantasize about anyone else.



yep...yours is a perfect submission. I totally agree. However, while "perfect love" is the ideal, reality is that we live in an imperfect world where the true meaning of love is lost in the gamut. What then?


The true meaning of love is never lost. You say, "Reality is that we live in an imperfect world." I say, "Reality is that I live in a perfect world."

It's all in how you look at it, MLG. Love is Unconditional. It's not Hollywood, it's not abusive, it's not racist, and it's not about possessions.

It IS to accept all that is around you (in your reality) just the way it is. You can alter your reality (if you don't like it) but you can't alter Love. You can walk away from Love or attempt to convince the world that something else is love but that doesn't last for long.

For example, you can have sex and call it love...but, that's not love. You can love your abusive partner but they are not in love with you because the abuse is present....that person has drifted away from love by believing 'to control or lash out at another' is love. But, surely, you know that's not love, that's an abuse of power.

Love is about accepting that there is a place for everyone/everything and that each of these things/people/etc. exist in the perfect place at the perfect moment.

So, if YOU think that you live in an imperfect world, when do you think you will fall back into love again?


Thanks immensely for being such a wonderfully positive person. You've given me a great perspective - kind of to see the cup half full instead of half empty. Yea, sometimes we see reality through the pains and disappointments we go through in life. I think I will adopt your philosophy here and refine mine accordingly.
I almost certainly get suspicious once someone says "I love you" - something cringes within, and the negative psyche replays past episodes of disappointments and I switch into caution mode - even though my emotional domain yearns & craves for another experience. Your insight actually helps....I appreciate. bigsmile

MyLastGroom's photo
Sun 11/07/10 08:45 PM
Thanks everyone for the healthy, honest and sincere contributions you made to the topic I proposed here. I know sparks are bound to fly when discussing controversial issues. Opinions are like noses; everyone's got some - therefore no one should take offense at constructive views of others.
Well, I am a theologian and law student, and I have loads of controversial topical issues for public debate on these fora and everyone is welcome to contribute. It doesn't really matter to me if anyone targets me instead of the topic - I've always had to deal with that and cannot be intimidated at all....
God bless everyone (if you don't believe in God, may whatever you believe in bless you).

LoveAlina's photo
Mon 11/08/10 02:47 AM

Thanks everyone for the healthy, honest and sincere contributions you made to the topic I proposed here. I know sparks are bound to fly when discussing controversial issues. Opinions are like noses; everyone's got some - therefore no one should take offense at constructive views of others.
Well, I am a theologian and law student, and I have loads of controversial topical issues for public debate on these fora and everyone is welcome to contribute. It doesn't really matter to me if anyone targets me instead of the topic - I've always had to deal with that and cannot be intimidated at all....
God bless everyone (if you don't believe in God, may whatever you believe in bless you).


Love those type of topics.....you learn more than you know....

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