I like your style eklectek. I read people very well....it almost feels like a curse..I understand the concept of speed dating now..lol. All thou I am a very positive person and somewhat intelligent I have a hard time being an extravert. I want to change this. I don't put too much energy on a first impression as much as I think of just being positive, light hearted, and polite at a first meet....break the ice kinda attitude. First impressions..... I think just try and be yourself.

and perhaps thee gives thyself far too much credit

particulartly when thee is looking for certain criteria and not open to the good in all

Ms. sweetestgirl11, That is just a polite way of saying I'm full of **** or egotistical...which I'm most definitely not. I am open to ALL that is good, but what I look for is people with the fortitude and temperance to show these good things in the first meeting. People who have nothing to hide have nothing to worry about. And what is the old saying? A person's life, should be an open book??? Talking about credit???? Credit is earned my dear, and like a video game, if you can't pass level one, you will not be able to play level 2. I am not an ego maniac...but I know what my strengths AND weaknesses are, and I have nothing to hide and no reason to be afraid, nervous, shy or reserved. This is why I look for the same thing in the people that I surround myself with. I am quite offended that you would say that I give myself to much credit. A person is allowed to expect things...ESPECIALLY when they meet that "criteria" themselves. I don't ask people for anything that I wouldn't give in return.....note my profession. I deal with people of different races, religions, continents. Some of them try to kill me for the way of life which we try to protect, I think it's you who is receiving to much "self credit"

Countrydawn!!! Thank you very much for your compliment. People don't have to agree with me but I do feel that they should disagree using manners. I know what you mean by it being a curse, especially when people don't understand what people like us mean by this. I agree that you have to be yourself when meeting someone. I can speak with literally ANYONE, but what is so evident to me in meeting someone is when they are simply not being themselves. (phony) That flag will prevent me from ever letting that person close to me because my first question is in what other manners are they phony?? If you have to ask it, chances are it's not a good idea, on a personal AND professional level. You are much closer to being an extrovert than you think...you assert yourself, and are comfortable with yourself...two necessary things for a first impression.

-EK

I disagree. Most intuitive people realize that a first impression is just that, an impression. Not grounded in truth or experience but an impression we make based on our experience.

See I disagree with you....I completely understand and respect your view however. The impressions people leave are what makes people take notice or ignore. We live in a world where a person.... his/herself is nothing. Unfair yes but realistic. So you mean to tell me that if someone was ignorant when first meeting you, you would take the time to get to know that person?? People with "intuition" can read and see the attitude and mannerisms of any given person. How does one know when an impression is a lasting one or a forgettable one??? INTUITION! A person who has to meet someone several times to decide if they like the person or not...is lacking in the intuition department. EVERY impression, action, reaction, and set of words a person uses is grounded in truth. I hold EVERY person I encounter accountable for the actions of their body, the words of their voice and the display of their attitude and personality. An intuitive person can make these summaries almost instantly. Think about what it takes to change a first impression.......I have an example. You can put a pictorial impression on a piece of steel, any picture you want, but to change this impression, you must first grind down the surface to a smooth one, then re-mould or re-etch...What it ultimately boils down to is how much "grinding" and "re-moulding" you want to invest in a person. The only people I will dedicate that much time to is the people who have made a good impression on me.

true that sweetest, it's only when you get past the skin can you see the meat.

I dont need to remove skin to see if the meat is cooked .....as per your example.... agree to disagree.....I understand your view...but the main arguement here is Intuition.......People who posess "intuition" dont need to take all those steps...think of it like a gutt instinct....when your gutt is telling you no....what is a persons response?? Intuition of first impressions is the topic, and what category people fall under... people who have to take the time to peel back the layers of ANYTHING....do not have INTUITION.

where do you see intuition in the op's post? no offense, but i took the questions to be about first impressions. i could be wrong.

correct....but keep reading...the convo evolved in to multiple points...including being an extrovert etc no offfence but read all the comments....there were several more people who commented on this while thinking outside of the box.

understood

believe me i completely understand and respect your views. the convo simply shifted a bit. oh well!!!
Cheers mate
EK

I agree.

First impressions are shallow at best.

Even if you are a face reader and body signals reader, it is still not a definite on anything.

Intuition? Well then we are dealing with the psychic realm and that isn't scientific at all. Not saying it can't be accurate either, just very little tangible proof of it.

sure it is.....So if someone were to steal from you the first time u met what would your reaction be??? would you call yourself shallow for not wanting to get to know them?? come on now...shallow is the wrong word, and even with the right word that doesn't make much sense.

sometimes and sometimes not...is that not how we get to a third date? and perhaps their last? seriously if on the first date they said something creepy or really did not sound right to me there is no more date.... and no more talk! sometimes on a first date i can tell i have not absolutely one physical attraction to them that i did meet them and if nice i will continue a friendship.. nerves i overlook period.... i never judge on that.. that is pretty normal i feel.. now for some the red flags do come out later than the first date... sometimes it takes up to 6 months if they are really good manipulators.

Eklectek, I was trying to make my individual point with few words. How about this, first impression as what? Friend, employee, lover? A first impression is will usually not show you if a person posesses the qualities you are searching for in any meaningful relationship. A first impression of confidence could be hiding a withered self esteem the person has become adapt at hiding. A first impression of arrogance, could be covering a very sensitive soul hurt one too many times.

My one and only point was that an impression is just that, your impression of what you have encountered. That point doesn't make me less intuitive, it makes me more realistic. I respect that you think first impressions are important and realiable. I think differently. Here's to individuality.

I don't hold with first impressions. I acknowledge their importance, especially from a job perspective, but won't take them as the only decision in a person. I can be an extrovert just fine for a job, and have no problem fitting in, but generally am an introvert. There are definitely two sides to me, and I don't usually shift work people over to my private life.

As far as in general, again, no. I'm the sort that will make a run in to town for something at say Wal-Mart, wearing my junky jeans, crappy t-shirt, and right now since the weather has cooled off, a torn long-sleeve shirt with cow slobber on it, since they seem to find it amusing to slurp me. Work boots, which generally have hay, dirt, or this past week, mud on them, slices from working with the tiller, knives, fencing, etc with my hair up in a knot, and the wire-cutters in the back pocket. Of course, if it was warm enough that I didn't have the long sleeve on then you'd be looking a a nice burn wound, and numerous slices and cuts that may be bleeding or older injuries that have scarred. (It's been a busy past week, )

Obviously, that's not going to give a great first impression. Of course, if you are making a decision based on that, then we probably aren't that compatible, so YOUR first impression is fine. Mine however, wouldn't be. If someone looking like that came up to me and they were physically appealing, I probably would go out on a date since I'm assuming they know how to clean up and dress decently. Then they have a chance to make a legitimate impression.

First impressions are like the frosting of a cupcake ...it can be chocolate on top but vanilla in the center =)