I have been dating this guy off and on for about 10 months. When we are 'on', life is wonderful. Then a family crisis comes up with him and I don't hear from him for weeks or months. He doesn't return my phone calls or reply to my emails.

When the crisis occurs, I have explained to him that I would like to be supportive...hold a hand, lend an ear, sit with him without talking, whatever...just be there for him, help out any way I can wanting nothing in return. But my offers have gone ignored. The first time this happened, months later he explained he thought he was a big boy and could handle it on his own. It is now happening again for a second time.

I really like this guy and had hopes for a serious commited/exclusive relationship, but we are lacking one huge commponent...COMMUNICATION!

I have talked to friends about the situation, half say give him time, be patient. The other half say he is playing me.
What is your opinion?

He is a member of this site, not sure how often he logs in or even reads the forums, but if he does...you know who you are...PLEASE CALL ME!!!

I want to ask you a question but not here in the fourms

I think if you have to keep asking, that is your answer right there. I'm sorry about that. But if a guy ditched me for weeks at a time, I would say he is not good enough for me. He doesn't care enough and doesn't think anything of leaving you hanging. You deserve better than that. Say goodbye to him and make room in your life for a guy who will treat you better than that.

I had a serious girlfriend once. When her father died she totaly cut me out. After she explained that's how she felt comfortable handeling it. Months later her brother died and she did the same, this time I felt better about it. A couple of months after that she asked me to marry her I did not, we broke up soon after. Everyone must do what they feel they feel is right for them. Good Luck!

You're 100% right about the communication issue. Without that, it's basically impossible to build the trust needed to maintain a relationship.

Someone who disappears for weeks or months at a time without bothering to keep you informed of the situation, is essentially telling you that you're not important enough, or trustworthy enough, to be placed in a position where you can offer support.

I suspect that the "crisis" which keeps him occupied for so long is probably another part of his life (i.e., another person) which he wants to keep separate from his life with you. I don't know this, of course, but I have seen it happen enough times to recognize the indicators.

Be prepared to put up with this kind of nonsense for as long as you're involved with him.