as i sit
sipping my V8 and vodka
i realize such epiphanous examples
of life
i cease to be amazed

heartburn is the daily concern
my ex-girlfriend's work got published
and i don't like it
my

heartburn

is a product
of my actions
just like

heartbreak

See...?

nobody wants poetry.
i've found
that i have lost
so much in verses
as in vengeance.

questions are worthless
unless you have, at least,
a ******** answer to provide.

this is hypocritical in nature,
but nature never moves fast enough for me.

there's a thin line between
brilliant
writer
and
dislocated
ink salesman.

i wear a better tie, and try to pretend
that qualifies me for the second.

also, i'm in love with a girl dying of a terminal illness.

are my words more or less sincere or more or less accurate because of that?

open question.

Ok, you seem to start off with a punch when you divulge the awareness of an epiphany. (but i wonder if this is too strong a word)

And then you cover a lot of ground for a relatively short piece. The central meaning for me is that the writer, though seemingly comfortable in his own skin, does have doubts to whether or not others notice this quality.

The asking of the question at the end , to me, is where the writer turns to himself more than asking the reader, but he has no ****** answer to give. (therefore, no epiphany)

The only thing I personally didn’t find beneficial to the piece is the very last line “open question” I think you already made this point without having to reiterate.



(for what's its worth...........)

keep practicing and try to have a point thats obvious to the reader.

I really like the structure because it forces you to take in certain lines before moving on, kind of like breaks or a pre-chorus in lyrics.

This is deeper than I think it is letting on, or possibly I'm looking at it terribly too closely (the ending really caught me off-guard). I do however enjoy the kind of erratic structure it has, that's really what caught my eye about this initially.

interestingly enough, Fear points out the erratic structure, which in and of itself gives validation to the words. i doubt this was unintentional. well done on that.

woah. thanks for the feedback.

it's difficult to express sincerity in words.

special thanks to kc and fear who picked me apart.

that's all i need.

wonderful of ocean and, as always, bastet, for visiting my words. much appreciated.

*emoticon*