Justice given by the man with a Jesus handbag,
Falling farther behind nations full with passion,
Pass the salt and leave the pepper-corn black,
Shave the leavenings and leave them for incineration,
Incarceration leaves us even more behind, falling back,
Stacked and stacked the papers need another signature.

Crooked halo, false sense of supremacy, crooked halo,
Crooked halo, false sense of supremacy, crooked halo,

Beat the men that stand up against you,
Snap their legs so that they cannot follow,
Break their spirit so they will not go,
Clap for their dismay and display it for the shallow.

Crooked halo, false sense of supremacy, crooked halo,
Crooked halo, false sense of supremacy, crooked halo.

Don't waste my time with your words of false hope,
I'm tired of listening to the same recycled s***,
I find it hard to care about your impractical goal,
And I'm sick of hearing how tomorrow will be the end.

Crooked halo, bent steel and a shaped fake plastic dictator,
Crooked halo, bent steel and a shaped fake plastic dictator.

thought provoking

what i like is the imagery. i think that your intelligence suffers from the definition of your writing. explore different forms.

still - i enjoyed this.

I agree, however after going through numerous styles of writing I decided to sit on a few that I enjoy more. Although my writing follows a certain structure it is usually all written in the few minutes before posting, editing typically suffers because of that but I like the Gonzo approach itself.

Stick around, you're bound to see a few more different writing structures from me as I tend to get bored and start experimenting eventually.

Really though, thank you for the compliment and advice. Writers never can learn too much.

i'll always read and won't always enjoy. thus is the plight of the writer. does the rhyme scheme work or does it work for you?

your words are powerful enough to flow without limitation, but varied enough that impressed styles might help.

they did for me.

cheers, and i look forward to your future writing.

if i sound like a pretentious dick it's not because of what i've written - it's just because i am and i enjoy what you have to show.

No worries, mate. I wouldn't write if I was afraid of the criticism it would bring.

The rhyme scheme is just something I've been toying about with for a few months, it can work really well but it kind of teeters for me, I can't just throw out a bunch of rhymes without any substance or I will immediately scrap the writing just the same I don't want my writing to be overcome with substance.

I'm truly impossible if I actually edit my work.

that sentence deserves its own poem.