Indulging in sex in a bedsit is like trying to arrange flowers while parachuting. there are so many reasons why it will be a disaster that very often it is easier to claim you are a monk and forget the whole thing.
The bedsit is the biggest culprit in destroying a wonderful evening. Just lying on the bed is dangerous enough, so the risks involved in jigging up and down on the thing are tenfold.
Several different injuries can result from indulging in sex on a bedsit bed.

BANANA BACK: This is caused by trying to make love on a Flop Drop mattress. Because of the slump in the middle of the mattress, your feet and head end up a foot higher than your pelvis, resulting in a dramatic curving of the spine and an excruciating pain in the back.
People suffering from Banana Back are easily identifiable by the way they walk around constantly looking at the ceiling, or the floor, depending on their position preference.

HEADBOARD FINGER: This is caused when you try to stop the headboard cracking rhythmically against the wall as you tell your partner how much you love them with words like 'Oomph'.
It is just at the point when you least need it that you realize the headboard is making a noise like a pile driver. Instinctively, you will reach out to stop it. Unfortunately, it won't occur until the next 'Oomph' that there is the momentum of two bodies and a bed smashing your fingers into the wall.
The most common reaction to this is to wave your hand in the air and swear inventively. This is particulaly useful if your lover likes you to talk dirty.
A similar complaint is Tailboard Foot. This is caused by applying pressure to the tailboard with your foot. This results in a form of cramp where your toes and heel try to meet in the middle of the foot. The pain of this cramp in your foot makes you exhale in agony and grab hold of the headboard. The headboard then smashes your finger into the wall.
Should you still be able to go through the motions of making love in spite of going through spasms of pain your lover will think you are doing a great job. After all, it's not everyone that they can get to moan in ectasy and writhe around all over the bed.

SQUEAK SPINE: This is a sinister condition that gives you backache for weeks without knowing why. Your partner will think you are the slowest, sleaziest, most considerate, most sensitive lover they have ever had, whereas what you are really trying to do is stop the bed from squeking.
This predicament results in a posture that looks as if you were trying to hold the bed to the floor with your feet and hands whilst trying to stir porridge with your pelvis. don't worry if you start crying from the pain. your lover will think you are in romantic bliss.
A lot of people try to overcome the Squeak by oiling the joints of the bed. This is not recommended as all that it does, is allow the bed to slowly walk along the floor until it is banging against the door. This can be particularly embarrassing if your door opens outwards.

HOT KNEE: This painful condition is caused by using nylon sheets on a Rock mattress. It can also occur from giving up on the bed and trying out the floor. It is a condition that occurs when the knee bone rubs on the nylon surface and nearly sets on fire from the heat. this condition is dangerous because it is easy to ignore while engaged in erotic activity. However, an hour later you will be unable to walk without looking like both your legs are in splints.

IF YOUR LOVER IS IN THE NUDE AND A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS COMES ROUND; INVITE THEM IN.
The world record for keeping a straight face is 23 seconds.

SINGLE BED TWINGE: This condition occurs mostly in single beds.
This is caused when your partner turns over in their sleep and knees you in the groin. The result of this is for both you knees to come up smartly to your stomach and smack them under the chin. This is handy if you wish to terminate the relationship.

BEDSIT BIT FINGER: This condition is very painful and is the result of being bitten on the hand. The reason for being bitten on the hand is from placing it over your partners mouth to stop them screaming out.
It is very flattering to think that you are the cause of their wild screams, but it is usually because they've got their hair caught in the springs, or the headboard keeps smacking them on the back of the head when it comes back off the wall.

A PUNCH IN THE NOSE: This is caused by making love to the Heavy Metal Hero's girlfriend.

NEIGHBOURS INDULGING: A lot of fun can be had when other people in the house are indulging in late-night sex. One of the best laughs is to record their groans through the wall and play it back to them at full volume when they have finished.
Another good joke is to wait until they nearly reach the point of no return and then let out a blood-curdling scream as if you are being murdered. Be sure not to laugh when the bed suddenly stops squeaking.
An alternative to the scream is to go out on the landing and shout, 'I know she's here somewhere. I'll kill her!"
If the neighbours are particularly raucous and the female is particularly loud, a whole evenings entertainment can be had from phoning the police and telling them you think someone next door is being murdered. Be sure to do this early in the proceedings so the police will have a chance to actually hear her being murdered and sledgehammer the door in.
It is also worthwhile looking for an album of live music with lots of applause and 'More More!' and then playing it at full blast when they have finished.

that is tooooooooo funny

That is really ingenius. Did you write all that?

Well I lived in a bedsit many years ago. I just added a little to it.

love it love it love it. tom your jokes are always the very best. you are one of the most cretive guys on here.

too funny!..lol..