BORED!!

i want to meet new people!

make me laugh

=]

lol funny picture =]

Three animals of the forest were arguing among themselves as to which of them was the most feared.
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength- none in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature.

As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion, and stinker.

The Thunder God went for a ride upon his favorite filly. "I'm Thor!" he cried. The horse replied, "You forgot the thaddle, thilly."

was that his teeth flying out?

A father looked outside and saw his own children and their playmates pressing their hands into his newly laid concrete sidewalk.
Flinging open the window, he gave the kids a tongue-lashing.
His wife, shocked, asked, "Don't you love your children?."
The husband replied, "In the abstract, yes; but not in the concrete."

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Two prison inmates were chastised for fighting during recess in the prison yard. The warden wanted to know the cause of the ill-feeling. One of the inmates said, "He called me a dirty number."