hello folks,i had dated a girl i really love and cared for alot, we dated for over 10 years and we broke up around 3 years ago and i injured myself 4 months ago and we have talked every day since,she recently told me she was pregnant with another mans baby, she still has feelings for me and i do for her, i dont know what to do my feelings for her have gone way up in the past few months,and she talks like she wants me back,she would always contact me and stay in touch and i know deep down she loves me like i love her,she said what happened was a short relationship with a guy she does not plan on being with,should i just trust my feelings and keep loving her and see were it takes us?any advice would help.thank you

Hello!

Can you share the reason for the break up?

My opinion.....an "ex" is an "ex" for a reason. I am sure it feels great to feel things for her again. I mean, you spent ten years with her, so of course you will keep "feeling" something for her. When it comes down to it, you just have to trust that she is who you want. If you have any doubts at all....ANY.....I would continue to be her friend. Plus, her having another man's baby (and it seems that she does not love him) and then being around you again will make her remember how you two used to be. The good times and all. Still, you guys had to break it off. Always remember that.

she wanted alot from me like a family and all the things a woman wants and i was not ready we would argue all the time she wanted to meet my parents and i never let her i used to verbally abuse her and never take her anywhere and it was mostly because of me so we broke up but she would allways call me and come around even when i told her not to because i was trying to get over her,i guess she was trying to keep me close to her somehow,and i made her abort my child 6 years ago.

I'm sure that guy who created the baby with her assistance will be grateful to you for the rest of his life for relieving him of the responsibility to raise the kid he fathered - and it's real noble of you to get him off the hook and give his kid a daddy. I'm sorry, but I think your emotions are being used to tool you around. Before you act, think about it long and hard - you'll be living with the results of your choice for the rest of your life.

sounds like shes scared...baby needs a daddy, ya know...

been there done that let it ride

I agree with Kings_Knight....

I'm sorry to say that you need to let her go and you need to tell her to let you go...you can't do this to yourself...You both need to move on and meet new people...Actually she already has, so it's time you have your closure and stop letting your past control you...

whoa! you were with her for TEN YEARS and she never met your family? that sounds like it would have been hard to do. it also sounds like you had some real issues during this relationship.

i wonder if you have dealt with them and are ready for the whole family thing now, because that is what you are going to get.

You are a fool if you let yourself get sucked into that BS. She screwed another guy and is having his kid, not yours.


SECURITY BLANKET!

Sounds like you were a complete a$$hole to her... what kind of woman would want a guy back after being treated like that?

well she really does not need my money,she makes her own,i just dont understand what else she would want cause it is not money,it is really taking a toll on me, also i was a total piece of crap to her most of the time,i think its my fault,i am white and she is black and my family is very strict,but i did not care about that anymore and now its another problem.

Stop beating yourself over it and move on...

She knows she has security with you cuz you accept her back into your life...until she finds someone else again and forgets about you for a while!!

Be good to yourself....you're all you got!

Sounds like shes insecure and for whatever reason, as crappy as you were, she felt secure with you.

sounds like this is just going to turn out to be just another healthy, happy family..you know, like the kind you used to see on the Jerry Springer show....

She's had three years to get back to you and didn't do it until you are vulnerable and she's about to have a kid? She wanted a child so she left you, went and got one and came back. She's looking for help raising the child and you're a better option than the man's she's with. She sounds like she's selfish and a manipulator. Never met her, hate to judge, but from out here it looks pretty clear.

Wait, she's selfish but he was a total azzhole to here while dating.. Perhaps she truly loves him and never got over him? No let's put it all on her b/c she's preggers.. As stupid as she may be, she's even dumber for wanting him back... But you could have a point it could be just b/c she's pregnant and wants to be with someone she doesn't need financially but loves azzholes... All women love azzholes right?

i agree...i'm not sure how she became the bad guy here. especially since he admitted to treating her so poorly.

First, you need to have this discussion with yourself. Make yourself a list of questions. Then ask yourself if it's worth discussing it with her. Because, if you're just going to treat her like crap again, leave her alone. She'll be better off without your verbal abuse. No doubt you will abuse the child as well.

Agreed totally...do her a favour and do not go down that road again. Don't put her and this child through that. She deserves to be loved and respected. I hope you got some help for the way you acted so that you can have a healthy relationship for somebody else.