Think you've got some pretty spiffy comeback for when you get stopped by Da Man ... ? See how they stack up to these comments by cops to perps who thought they were clever ... I like Nr 3 ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
 


"Relax. The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
 


"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
 


"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
 


"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? That's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
 


"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
 


"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
 


"Warning? You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
 


"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
 


"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
 


"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
 


"In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." 
 


"Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
 


"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
 


"I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
 


AND THE WINNER IS ...
 


"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't ... Sign here."

Doing Loss Prevention I actually used a couple of those lines before.


"Relax. The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
 


"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
Except we would have them against a wall so it was "If you take your hand's off the wall, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

Another one I used, "Are you sure you don't have anything that will cut, stick or poke me on you? If I get stuck it will feel like a fu$%ing freight train hit you" or "If I get stuck I am gonna put your head through the wall."

How about what I told a cop.......You point that gun at me and I'll make your badge a distant memory......

Yeah, how long were you in jail for that one?

Yea, I doub't you used that.

didn't go to jail.....they were arresting someone in my front yard and I went out to calm my dog.....they threatened me and my dog and threatened to pull their gun and shoot.....I would have had their badges had they done anything....

doubt all you want I have witnesses LOL dont really care if u believe it or not

If you spout of to a cop that's a disorderly conduct or criminal mischief charge.

Not if they are threatening you without any cause whatsoever and people are watching...........

That have cause. They are popping someone in your front yard. Your dog is and you are approaching cops either attepmting to or have someone in custody. They don't know you or your dog, they don't know if your coming to help th eguy out.

bull ****.

Cops have no more right to harm innocent bystanders, than they do stealing property from homes when they search them, or setting people up just to get them gone on the three strikes your out ruls in FL. Cops are just as criminal as the criminals in many cases. Just because they do it with a bdage doesn't make it anymore right. Cops = criminals with a badge and law behind em.

Cops are people, too. There are cops who are very good at their job and there are cops who are just dirtbags. Just like there are good doctors and bad doctors, good lawyers and bad lawyers.

Just try and remember they are JUST HUMAN BEINGS.

You're not gonna go to jail or get in trouble for telling a cop to go pound sand if he/she has no other legal reason to detain you. However, you shouldn't do it because it's just not nice. Plain and simple.

There's no reason to put them on a pedestal and there's no reason to call them all criminals.

I've seen it happen.

I've seen a cop pull a dad from his pick up truck and verbally abuse him and humiliate him in front of his terrified 6 year old little boy all for not making a complete stop at a stop sign.

I've no doubt you've seen all kinds of ****. Doesn't mean it's legal or moral. There is NO law on the books that says you can't say what you want to a cop. And, there is no DA, outside of the deep south where law enforcement is something out the movie Deliverance, that will prosecute someone for such a bull **** matter.

LP, you have a cop fantasy land going on in your head. I worry that one day you may become a cop and take your John Wayne attitude on the road to domestic terror in small town. But, I'm warning you....there is always someone bigger and badder out there and one day they're gonna smack you down and hopefully knock some sense into you.

your right ruth, there is no law that says you have to be nice to a cop... but also, a cop can arrest anyone they want for anything they want.... it doesn't have to stick,it's up to a judge to punish you for it... a cop just takes you to jail... so it's never a good idea to start pissing off police, just the time in jail before seeing a judge can mean a loss of your job, missing important plans, kids being detained while your in jail. the cop will go home to their family that day, so they could care less.

No they can't. But, if you mean they are in a position to lie and make up a charge against you...yes they can. But, they're going to have to get their partner and the watch commander to go along with it. And, yes, that's possible, too.

I'm not sure what your point is. That a cop can lie and take you to jail under false pretense? Yes, that can happen. Lots of bad things can happen all the time.

my point is is not a good idea to smart off to a cop...
disorderly conduct can mean just about anything

That's probably the difference between Texas and California.