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| Topic: Receiving Gifts | |
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So by the same token, do you not ever GIVE gifts either then? No, I don't give gifts; I give to charities instead. Correct me if I am reading this wrong, but isn't giving to a charity a gift? Isnt that a double standard that you give and yet won't let someone give to you? Be it money or your time. How would you feel if your favorite charity sent back your check/money or declined to allow you give of your time? Would you feel insulted that millions of other people can give to the charity and you can not? Personally I do not give gifts to buy anyones love or loyalty. A gift to me is a simple gesture that I thought of them when I saw the item. You may not have a need or want of that item, fine. Kindly tell the person that all gifts from now on will be donated to a local homeless shelter. On the other hand, did you ever think that the gift giver was also insulted by the refusal of the gift? Because to him it was not a token or replacement of love but a simple jesture to show he was thinking of you and is glad you are in his life. A thank you for allowing him to be with you and spend time with you. When I give to charities; its so people can live. They need food, clothing, and shelter. I have all that so I don't want or need a gift. As I previously said, a gift to me is he accepted me in his life; that he loves me unconditionally; not something he bought at a store; and I don't need a gift gesture. If a person truly loved me, cared for me, or was really thinking of me; he would respect my wishes and not buy me a gift. I feel equally insulted if I am given a gift so it goes both ways. Anyways the point is moot. He gave me an ulitmation that either I accept his gift or he would end the relationship; so I said goodbye and wished him well. I won't be bullied into accepting gifts. You are correct sir; that I would accept that note. |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I'd dump you, too, if you refused to accept flowers that I had bought for you. Even if the flowers made me ill? You would want me to be sick in order to make yourself feel better? Who is being selfish now? |
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Curious that there should be so much open hostility to the concept of an individual NOT doing the 'GIMME!' shuffle ... Has our society so conditioned people to believe that a material, store-bought, dubiously-selected OBJECT replaces the wishes of the person to whom it's being given? Seems that way. "I want you to have this gift! TAKE IT! Or else!" appears to be the prevailing mindset. She has already stated that she prefers to NOT be 'gifted'. Why is this so difficult to (a) accept, and (b) respect? I share her sentiments, and I appreciate it when people just understand where I'm coming from and give me themselves instead of some cheap-asss trinket-on-a-string. How 'bout cuttin' a little slack instead of insisting that she succumb to the socially-imposed 'cookie-cutter' 'GIMME!' mentaility ... ? After all, there's still this little thing called 'personal choice' ... isn't there? Or has that been done away with, too?
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After all, there's still this little thing called 'personal choice' ... isn't there? Or has that been done away with, too? Yes, there is definitely a thing called personal choice and she has a right to hers. However, she asked for opinions as to how others felt about it. I gave mine and apparently my opinion is wrong and "bad". If the OP didn't want to hear anything besides validation for her bizarre view of gifts then she shouldn't have asked. |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I'd dump you, too, if you refused to accept flowers that I had bought for you. Even if the flowers made me ill? You would want me to be sick in order to make yourself feel better? Who is being selfish now? You asked for opinions. I gave mine. Sorry you don't agree with it. I am not selfish. Far from it. |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I'd dump you, too, if you refused to accept flowers that I had bought for you. Even if the flowers made me ill? You would want me to be sick in order to make yourself feel better? Who is being selfish now? You asked for opinions. I gave mine. Sorry you don't agree with it. I am not selfish. Far from it. I am not opposed to your opinion; but I am saying don't you think its harsh to dump someone if your flowers made them sick? |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I'd dump you, too, if you refused to accept flowers that I had bought for you. Even if the flowers made me ill? You would want me to be sick in order to make yourself feel better? Who is being selfish now? You asked for opinions. I gave mine. Sorry you don't agree with it. I am not selfish. Far from it. I am not opposed to your opinion; but I am saying don't you think its harsh to dump someone if your flowers made them sick? I am not discussing the issue of the flowers possibly making you sick since you are changing your story midstream. You never mentioned the flowers making you sick. You said you didn't want gifts and refused his gift because you felt like he was trying to buy you. |
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After all, there's still this little thing called 'personal choice' ... isn't there? Or has that been done away with, too? Yes, there is definitely a thing called personal choice and she has a right to hers. However, she asked for opinions as to how others felt about it. I gave mine and apparently my opinion is wrong and "bad". If the OP didn't want to hear anything besides validation for her bizarre view of gifts then she shouldn't have asked. I never said your opinion was bad. I just wondered why people feel the need to buy gifts rather than spending time with a person. I would rather a guy spend quality time with me instead of buying me gifts and then ignoring me to watch tv. A man does not need to prove his love to me with flowers, or jewelry; he needs to prove it by spending time with me. |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I'd dump you, too, if you refused to accept flowers that I had bought for you. Even if the flowers made me ill? You would want me to be sick in order to make yourself feel better? Who is being selfish now? You asked for opinions. I gave mine. Sorry you don't agree with it. I am not selfish. Far from it. I am not opposed to your opinion; but I am saying don't you think its harsh to dump someone if your flowers made them sick? I am not discussing the issue of the flowers possibly making you sick since you are changing your story midstream. You never mentioned the flowers making you sick. You said you didn't want gifts and refused his gift because you felt like he was trying to buy you. I was using that an an example. How about I am apposed to killing plant life? What I am saying is quality time is more important than gifts. So, what if I do accept the gift and it goes right in the garbage. Would that make you feel better? |
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I was using that an an example. How about I am apposed to killing plant life? What I am saying is quality time is more important than gifts. So, what if I do accept the gift and it goes right in the garbage. Would that make you feel better? Sorry, I don't have the desire to do "what if" scenarios all day. I answered your initial question and now you're just being ridiculous. I am sure you will find someone who is like minded and will respect your wishes. There's someone for everyone. |
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I was using that an an example. How about I am apposed to killing plant life? What I am saying is quality time is more important than gifts. So, what if I do accept the gift and it goes right in the garbage. Would that make you feel better? Sorry, I don't have the desire to do "what if" scenarios all day. I answered your initial question and now you're just being ridiculous. I am sure you will find someone who is like minded and will respect your wishes. There's someone for everyone. Agreed. Its all about respecting one's wishes. |
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I "RESPECT" you opinion & would hope you would do the same. Giving is something I do from my heart, that is just me. "Different strokes, different folks." Live as you like. Bottom line is we all do what feels right just as long as it doesn't make the other person uncomfortable. |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? Wow, refusing flowers because you assumed he was trying to buy your love? Perhaps it made him feel good to give you flowers. I know you said you tell people not to give you gifts, but if they do, do you assume family and friends are also trying to buy your love? |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I'd dump you, too, if you refused to accept flowers that I had bought for you. Even if the flowers made me ill? You would want me to be sick in order to make yourself feel better? Who is being selfish now? You asked for opinions. I gave mine. Sorry you don't agree with it. I am not selfish. Far from it. I am not opposed to your opinion; but I am saying don't you think its harsh to dump someone if your flowers made them sick? In your OP, you said it was because you thought he was trying to buy your love, not because the flowers made you sick. Isn't that a bit different? |
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Curious that there should be so much open hostility to the concept of an individual NOT doing the 'GIMME!' shuffle ... Has our society so conditioned people to believe that a material, store-bought, dubiously-selected OBJECT replaces the wishes of the person to whom it's being given? Seems that way. "I want you to have this gift! TAKE IT! Or else!" appears to be the prevailing mindset. She has already stated that she prefers to NOT be 'gifted'. Why is this so difficult to (a) accept, and (b) respect? I share her sentiments, and I appreciate it when people just understand where I'm coming from and give me themselves instead of some cheap-asss trinket-on-a-string. How 'bout cuttin' a little slack instead of insisting that she succumb to the socially-imposed 'cookie-cutter' 'GIMME!' mentaility ... ? After all, there's still this little thing called 'personal choice' ... isn't there? Or has that been done away with, too? Thank you for understanding. You truly get where I am coming from. I I know many of my male friends that bought dozens of gifts for their wives but they ended up being divorced as these men did not spend quality time with their wives. It was all about the gift giving which they thought was a good way to express love. Problem with our society is we don't make the time for each other so we compensate with gifts. I would gladly give up everything for a man that truly wants to spend time with me. All the flowers and jewelry in the world can't substitute for him spending time with me or just giving me a good hug. You can't put a price on those things; you can't buy them from a store; you can't hang that on a mantle as that is purely from the heart. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Fri 07/16/10 08:44 AM
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I'd dump you, too, if you refused to accept flowers that I had bought for you. Even if the flowers made me ill? You would want me to be sick in order to make yourself feel better? Who is being selfish now? You asked for opinions. I gave mine. Sorry you don't agree with it. I am not selfish. Far from it. I am not opposed to your opinion; but I am saying don't you think its harsh to dump someone if your flowers made them sick? In your OP, you said it was because you thought he was trying to buy your love, not because the flowers made you sick. Isn't that a bit different? I was just using that as an example. Would it surprise you to know that my family and friends don't buy me gifts and this was their choice. I just happen to agree with it. What I am saying is buying me a gift is not the same as spending quality time with me. That to me is buying my love as its easier than spending time with me which really hurts me. The thing is if I am not comfortable with receiving gifts; why should they be forced on me? I am not rude with people or boyfriends but I kindly ask they do not buy gifts and respect my wishes. |
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Would it surprise you to know that my family and friends don't buy me gifts and this was their choice. And, there's the psychology behind this whole thing. Giving gifts is an expression of love. It has been from the beginning of time. It's got nothing to do with the monetary value of the gift. Picked flowers or a $100 boquet....it's all just an expression of how one feels. "It's the thought that counts". Ever heard of that? No, gifts can't replace things like time spent together or hugs. But, they can, and usually are, a wonderful addition and a great way to express your feelings. I give gifts to my friends and family. It's fun for everyone. When I don't have much money, they are simple homemade gifts or even just a card. When I do have money it may be more. No one I know has ever complained about the dollar value of a gift being too much or too little or accused me of trying to buy their love. You may want to spend more time examining your extreme reaction to gift giving than coming here and trying to defend it. Just a thought. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Fri 07/16/10 08:53 AM
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Would it surprise you to know that my family and friends don't buy me gifts and this was their choice. And, there's the psychology behind this whole thing. Giving gifts is an expression of love. It has been from the beginning of time. It's got nothing to do with the monetary value of the gift. Picked flowers or a $100 boquet....it's all just an expression of how one feels. "It's the thought that counts". Ever heard of that? No, gifts can't replace things like time spent together or hugs. But, they can, and usually are, a wonderful addition and a great way to express your feelings. I give gifts to my friends and family. It's fun for everyone. When I don't have much money, they are simple homemade gifts or even just a card. When I do have money it may be more. No one I know has ever complained about the dollar value of a gift being too much or too little or accused me of trying to buy their love. You may want to spend more time examining your extreme reaction to gift giving than coming here and trying to defend it. Just a thought. Bottom line is I don't want gifts. My reasons are my own business. I should have the freedom to not accep gifts without repercussions. Its my right to refuse them and if a person truly cares for me; they will understand its just not my way. As was said its personal choice and why shouldn't my personal choice be considered. I could care less if this was done from the beginning of time; its not for me. I am an individual and if I don't want to go with the flow; it should be my right. I don't know why its so hard for people to respect a person's wishes? |
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Bottom line is I don't want gifts. My reasons don't matter. I should have the freedom on not accepting gifts without repercussions. Its my right to refuse them without people making me feel right. As was said its personal choice. I don't know why its so hard for people to respect a person's wishes? Without repercussions? You mean you are angry at the man who broke up with you because this. Doesn't he have the same right to his personal wishes? He wishes to give flowers and you rejected his gift. If it was me, I would understand that we were just not on the same page about an issue that was obviously very important to me and move on. There are many men who won't date me because our beliefs and/or lifestyle don't match up. I don't feel resentment towards them for not wanting to date me. I just accept that they are not the one for me and move on. |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Fri 07/16/10 08:57 AM
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Would it surprise you to know that my family and friends don't buy me gifts and this was their choice. And, there's the psychology behind this whole thing. Giving gifts is an expression of love. It has been from the beginning of time. It's got nothing to do with the monetary value of the gift. Picked flowers or a $100 boquet....it's all just an expression of how one feels. "It's the thought that counts". Ever heard of that? No, gifts can't replace things like time spent together or hugs. But, they can, and usually are, a wonderful addition and a great way to express your feelings. I give gifts to my friends and family. It's fun for everyone. When I don't have much money, they are simple homemade gifts or even just a card. When I do have money it may be more. No one I know has ever complained about the dollar value of a gift being too much or too little or accused me of trying to buy their love. You may want to spend more time examining your extreme reaction to gift giving than coming here and trying to defend it. Just a thought. Bottom line is I don't want gifts. My reasons are my own business. I should have the freedom to not accep gifts without repercussions. Its my right to refuse them and if a person truly cares for me; they will understand its just not my way. As was said its personal choice and why shouldn't my personal choice be considered. I could care less if this was done from the beginning of time; its not for me. I am an individual and if I don't want to go with the flow; it should be my right. I don't know why its so hard for people to respect a person's wishes? You have all the freedom in the world not to accept gifts from anyone. Just remember that some people will be hurt that you refuse anything they try to give you. You can't really get mad at them for that. Just realize that you and they are different. |
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