This isn’t a mystery as repeatedly the good die young and bad seemingly live indefinitely.
The pressures dealt with daily make people feel hatefully angry, desperate at times shear misery.

Those with closed minds will find no better time in the future walking a crooked or straight line.
West shines brightest though it seems at our highest climax we’re just the blind leading the blind.

Tension’s boiling in my Oakland city after another horrible travesty conducted by a corrupt L.A. justice courtroom.
Pensions are dwindling as we struggle to make ends meet now and borrow $ against potential financial doom.

No wriggle room for movies let alone new cars, eating out often or vacation.
I see folks standing in line on E-14th just for free bread & butter, milk, eggs & bacon.

It’s like I’m taken too long for them to get old and die.
America doesn’t really want to give up any more of her pie.
Nowadays it’s hard to believe anybody acting shy.
This place is so jaded it’s probably just a scam to get over or get by.

The pessimist in me wants to rage like a woodland fire.
The optimist searches for that which I most desire.

Travel the earth in quest of solace beneath social unrest.
A place I can take the edge & heavy weight off of my chest.

We invest BIG money in the future but make fun of gamblers & psychics.
Then complain about having no money to get your home, sight or life fixed.
If you are blessed to make a nice ripe age but now can’t see or walk for long on those old legs.
What good was stowing that cash away when you were young always having to borrow & beg.

Personally I’m tired of robbing Peter to pay Paul.
Conversely I’d rather hop in a barrel and go over Niagara Falls.
Get hooked on heroin then quit and go through terrible withdrawals.
But I live blue collar fabulous coping with these high bills & shady laws.

Pshaw!!!

you got that right!!

Thank you Princess pkd1220

good to read your words, my brother...

A very good synopsis of the world we live in today.

Thank you very much kc0003 & my sweet BonnyMiss

Your poem is filled with cliches and stereotypes that have no bearing in reality. The good don't always die young and the evil do not live indefinitely.

Try making up your own imagery and metaphor instead of using old, worn-out pictures to paint your poetry.

^^^^. See you been visited by the godess of poetry. Lol

great write. As usual

I accept critiques very well but you are just a bit mean, mis-informed and a tad self righteous to think you can know what somebody you DON"T KNOW is living/going through. In YOUR world of daisys & dew drops I suppose the reality you hold dearly must come with glitter and patchouli. Outside my door I can throw a rock twice and hit pimps, prostitutes,drug pushers & users.
My reality is based on FACT not fairy fiction

Exactly!!!!!

No bearing in reality. WTF!!!

We all have different realitys. We come from different places in life which makes for thousands of different writes!!!

Ohhhh god

I'm soooooo ****ing pissed off!!!!!

"I accept critiques very well but you are just a bit mean, mis-informed and a tad self righteous to think you can know what somebody you DON"T KNOW is living/going through. In YOUR world of daisys & dew drops I suppose the reality you hold dearly must come with glitter and patchouli. Outside my door I can throw a rock twice and hit pimps, prostitutes,drug pushers & users.
My reality is based on FACT not fairy fiction"

It doesn't matter what your reality is based upon! Toulouse Lautrec painted the underside of Paris life, yet HIS work is recognized as genius.

It also doesn't matter what a person is going through; if bad experiences made good poetry, then a lot of poetry would be good. It is about the expression, the imagery, the creativity and originality in the poem. It is about the use of words and metaphor.

If you want to read visceral, punch-you-in-the-gut poetry that works, try "Howl" by Ginsberg.

It isn't about me being self-righteous or even judging YOU as a person (which is what you think that I am doing); it is about your poetry.

I find it interesting that a woman who says on her profile, "I can be quite blunt at times" can be so ANGRY at someone who expresses an opinion.

Why be angry? To be angry at someone online whom you have never met is a useless endeavor and wasted emotion.

So you like that you like; if you want black velvet paintings of Elvis or matadors on your walls, that is your business! But when ANYONE posts in a public place, that person invites comments and critiques.

I am not a "yes" person; I don't follow the crowd. I have, however, spent years learning how to read and dissect what makes poetry "work." To use hackneyed phrases, cliches, and old, tired imagery does not make for excellent poetry.

Of course, to those who have not extensively studied literature do not have a grasp. If someone has not read Eliot's "Wasteland," "The Hollow Men," or even "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," any poetry that rhymes might impress them.

But your anger is misplaced and it is ineffective. The only person whom your anger is bothering--or to whom it is important--is you! Yeah, the guy who wrote the poem agrees with you, but he is a face and nickname online.

Shrug. So much for living in "real" life, eh?

One more thing: to the poet, you totally misunderstood my reference to "reality." You used a stereotypical cliche: the good don't always die young and the evil don't always live long and prosper, not even in your world.

The lines: "Personally I’m tired of robbing Peter to pay Paul./
Conversely I’d rather hop in a barrel and go over Niagara Falls."

The old, overused cliche of "robbing Peter to pay Paul" lacks imagination, creativity and originality. Why not use YOUR words instead of a phrase that has been around for a very long time? Using cliches is the sign of a lazy, unimaginative author. By the same token, what creative purpose does hopping "in a barrel and go over Niagara Falls" serve? Not much--except it "Falls" strives to rhyme with "Paul."

Cliches:

good die young and bad seemingly live indefinitely.

walking a crooked or straight line.

just the blind leading the blind.

America doesn’t really want to give up any more of her pie.

rage like a woodland fire.

heavy weight off of my chest.

borrow & beg.

robbing Peter to pay Paul.

barrel and go over Niagara Falls.

You rely on the words of others. There is no freshness to what you say. A truly successful poet creates the cliches of tomorrow, not using those in existence as the main mode of expression.

Sorry Gwen darling

your a waste of time and space

go into the other forums

believe me those people

will rip ya a new one and watch ya bleed


See ya there!

Ah, my dear, unlike you, I have a life outside of forums. I don't have time to invest in a plethora of forums.

And it is "You're a waste [. . .]." And if you want to write, learn how to use punctuation.

Hahahahaha

I love you!!

Omg!

I am so sorry for doing this in your thread
it was rude of me

I am truly sorry!


Tammy