i have had problems with my kidneys for 27yrs they actually think longer and i have been on dialysis for 5yrs
and many men that i have met or had talked to dont know how to deal with my health issue so they get scared and back off
but i have also met many that didnt bother them

reason I'm asking all of this is my own personal issues. Thing is other then I move a little slowly most days you would never know anything is wrong with me. But for some reason when they do find out about my "challenges" they go running. One guy went running after several months when he found out. Being on the inside of the situation looking out it's hard for me to comprehend why it is a problem. If a vet comes back from a war with the same issues as me people look at them as a hero and everyone wants to be with them "I've seen this personally as I have many military people in my family". But if someone goes threw their own private war here at home and comes out of it with scars "mental and or physical" they kind of get pushed to the side.

This is nothing I'm truely upset about. I see a persons choice as their choice and nothing more. As my point of view on this is so drastically different I'm just trying to get some insight in order to understand it.

as you had mention about military in the family
i had a uncle that was in the korean war.
when he came back of course he wasent the same. he treated his kids like dirt.. my uncle died 21yrs ago i belive he had a heart attch
he was never mean to me that i ever recall..
that could be part of the reason why his 3 oldest sons grew up the way they did

Oh goof...u always know exactly what to say to me

Perhaps for many it's a matter of feeling uncomfortable. We live in a society of "perfect people" so it feels out of the norm.

My ex-husband had PTSD, but that was on top of a very dysfunctional childhood. It compounded the issue. He had a drug dependency to deal. I tried to help him pull out of all of this, along with getting counseling for him, but he refused to help himself.

When you have children it's a whole different situation. We did. It was either get help or hit the road. Period.

He got help after the divorce and is okay now. I think being married and 4 children was just tooo much stress to find healing. He needed to find that on his own for some reason.


I would never date an emotionally unstable man again.

Amazingly, no. I've done it a lot, and I've come to the conclusion that I am psychotic enough for one person...adding more only strains my voices.

one thing I would like to point out. Not every challenged person has emotional issues. I know my own things I deal with but am also referred to by my friends as the most level headed of my group. Most people with ptsd actually are very level headed. They have to be. The condition shows it self in several ways. Most common is panic attacks that can come on when a trigger reminds them of a traumatic time. You also have to remember that many stress related illnesses are misdiagnosed as PTSD.

Something which prevents them from being fully functional. like ca'nt hold a reasonable job, or have a conversation.

so someone dependent on ssi or ssdi?

now what is wrong with someone on ssi or ssdi
im on ssi for my disabilty but i have also worked outside the home while i was on it.

Hey I'm not the one who originally said it. And please don't get upset at anyone for their answers. Only reason I started this topic was to try to understand how some people were thinking. I'm starting to realize that most of it may be from misunderstandings. If someone doesn't know the truth about a certain condition they may try to avoid people with it.


At least that is what I'm noticing.

Physically I'd be fine. Mom has MS and seeing how many people in her support group are divorced because the spouse up and quit is sad. Even the kids disappeared.

Psychologically I'd have more issues. Having dated several guys who were bipolar and refused to take their meds was hell and I don't feel the need to put up with it.

Now, while I can certainly understand a person working through the process of acceptance and grief and anger in dealing with a traumatic situation I'd have a problem with someone living in their own pity party for the attention.

Always explain these issues within the first few conversations if you are interested in someone...otherwise a few months down the road when you tell them, yeah, they will freak. At least if they know upfront you can gauge where they stand with it from there. Same with legal issues.

super hard question to answer before being in the actual situation... no one knows how or how long they can tolerate being in a abnormal situation like that til they experience one

They can tolerate it a hell of a lot better if they are aware of it in the beginning. Tolerance takes patience, and teaching.

Quite frankly it is these types of threads that rather aggravate me. You're asking a bunch of people about a situation they have more than likely never been in, more than likely never will be in, and you offer such limited information that no one can really decide what they would or would not do.

the point is to get an answer from a blank slate. So many people have preconceived notions on what disabled is and is not. By asking a yes or no and requesting an explanation on their choice helps out those people who have disabilities to understand how people without them think. Some people have lived so long in their situation that they have problems understanding anything outside of it. The same can be said for someone who has never lived around a disabled individual. The good majority of disabled people out there act the exact same as anyone else. You would never know there was something wrong unless they told you. And yet the most frequent advice given is to tell the other person right away. When some one has a preconceived notion about something then you bring it up without warning that is a guarantee that they will run. By giving the person time to get to know you first then you give them a chance to know the person first you give them a chance to see them as more then the disability.

If I had said Would you date someone with turrets? The majority of the people coming on here would have automatically thought of someone screaming obscenities. Why would this happen? But Hollywood only shows the world the most extreme of anything. Most people with this condition have nothing more then a slight tick. I have one friend who has a facial tick due to this. Unless she told you what it was you would never even notice it. But when people hear the name turrets they tend to avoid her. I made the mistake one time of asking her in public how it was doing. I watch in disgust as a mother covered her child's ears and walked him away from us.

So whether this question is annoying to you or not it is a truly honest question. Even if someone doesn't want to answer it's a situation that people need to give some true thought. Because if you are one who would avoid someone based on ignorance of a situation then what in life are you missing out on?

Again, like I said, noted medical conditions are very important to give out in the first place. Why? Because down the road, as happened to you, and has happened to countless other people...they find out, in turn makes you look bad because you didn't disclose the information, and scares them off because it is a rather important thing to know that you just didn't tell.

The point isn't what disability, the point is teaching people about them...not one person is going to go away from this thread and suddenly change their mind because the information in this thread, why? Because there is no information in this thread at all, they will react the same way they would have if this thread hadn't popped up...the only thing that is going to change that reaction is explaining the disability and the trouble that may come from it.

I would avoid someone based off experience and experience alone, as many people in this forum know I have schizophrenia, also suffered a truamatic brain injury at a young age. **** happens, dust off and keep walking...and surely don't make assumptions off of someone you don't know and obviously haven't read into. As I noted in my reply to this topic, "I'm enough psychotic for one person, I don't need nor want to add another."

I dated someone with Tourette's Syndrome.

Yes, depending on the issue, severity, and how they were managing/treating it.

Absolutely YES! I'm in one. She has a disability, but I really don't care, and I could give a rat'z azz about anyone who does, I love her and she loves me, and she is more normal than anyone else that I've ever known in my life even if she can't climb a mountain, ride a bike, or drive a car. It really doesn't matter to me. She is everything to me, and her mind and soul have connected with me on a level that only she and I can comprehend, and for that, I love her.